Tears, Sweat and Blood (otherwise known as Love)
so tonight, I was alone. So tonight I thought. So now I am telling you all, about my thoughts. Assuming you read this however it seems no one ever does. I am lonely. I have realized I havent actually been hugged in a week or more. havent been kissed in like 9 days, havent even been touched affectionately, (and no I dont mean sexually by that, how ever that applies too unfortunately.) And I thought this is what I had a boyfriend for. `Sigh` Tristan did appologize though, the other night in his truck. For being so awful. And last night, his best friend and I went for a drive, and ran into him, josh and whitney (josh's gf). Whitney was confused at seeing James and I together and asked if James and I were together now. My heart nearly stopped at the thought of being with some one other than tristan. But I think her saying that made him think a little too. It's got to be getting to him that his friend knows more about me and whats going on in my life right now than he does. So when I was on my way out, to go home with James, Tristan stopped us and offered to take me. I was over joyed. so he brought me home, and took right off. I was left alone again. In my drive way. In his dust. So i laid there, in the wet grass and looked up at the stars. It was a beautiful night. I only wish I had someone to share it with. I've realized I've been spending more and more time alone lately, I'll even reject plans with other people just to hang out in my little corner of my bedroom. I need to get out. those walls have become a jail cell and I have become their prisoner. I need you. and by you I mean who ever reads this, because Im falling back into old habits, bad ones, and I fear i'm going to be stuck in my own trap yet again. I need you to get me out. Please. Call me, invite me, save me. I know this is all so dramatic...but its midnight and I feel dramatic. Just be here for me. please?
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