(no subject)
Well, Happy Valentines DAy to all of my bleeding heart friends. Hope it was fun for you guys. I oddly enough spent it with Gavin... nonromanticly of course, just dyed my hair and watched Mulholland Dr. What a fucked up movie, then I sent him home and took a nap before work. I had the most ridiculous dreams due to the movie before sleep thing...it was strange.
So, I have Red, red, red hair now. and of course a pink scalp and finger nails left to show for it. But it was an upper I suppose, otherwise I may have spent my day sitting around crying or something pathetic. as was I did enjoy hanging out with Gavin... it was just so ironic... and the poor guy, I of course talked about Justin and how I miss him and how he was supposed to be with me BUT is with Heidi, and I was with Gavin. Fucked up, and I can't say that it's what I wanted, or want even. Dissapointment.
I'm feeling better than before, I must admit. Seeing Gavin always puts me to sleep, lol... I'm not sure if it's a comfort from familiarity thing, or if he just bores me to sleep. I remember how he used to make Chassidy fall asleep on the phone when we were kids... I bet he's just boring. *nods* but I need the sleep nontheless. So, I guess it works.
When I went to sleep last night I told myself not to worry about Justin, not to bother getting upset, or think about if he even bothered to call... but then I woke up later finding myself too tense to sleep... and I called him. Ridiculous, isn't it? I did not expect to feel this strongly on the subject, but I guess I never do. Every time we've had a problem, every time things got fucked up for one reason or another, I find out that I can't really go very long without wanting so badly to talk to him...or see him. I'm not even sure what it is I like so much... not specifically... maybe this means I need to go out this weekend and make some new friends...lol
So, I have Red, red, red hair now. and of course a pink scalp and finger nails left to show for it. But it was an upper I suppose, otherwise I may have spent my day sitting around crying or something pathetic. as was I did enjoy hanging out with Gavin... it was just so ironic... and the poor guy, I of course talked about Justin and how I miss him and how he was supposed to be with me BUT is with Heidi, and I was with Gavin. Fucked up, and I can't say that it's what I wanted, or want even. Dissapointment.
I'm feeling better than before, I must admit. Seeing Gavin always puts me to sleep, lol... I'm not sure if it's a comfort from familiarity thing, or if he just bores me to sleep. I remember how he used to make Chassidy fall asleep on the phone when we were kids... I bet he's just boring. *nods* but I need the sleep nontheless. So, I guess it works.
When I went to sleep last night I told myself not to worry about Justin, not to bother getting upset, or think about if he even bothered to call... but then I woke up later finding myself too tense to sleep... and I called him. Ridiculous, isn't it? I did not expect to feel this strongly on the subject, but I guess I never do. Every time we've had a problem, every time things got fucked up for one reason or another, I find out that I can't really go very long without wanting so badly to talk to him...or see him. I'm not even sure what it is I like so much... not specifically... maybe this means I need to go out this weekend and make some new friends...lol