(no subject)
My 2004 can only be looked upon as successful. A stabalizing year, one in which I was asked to redefine what I believe, who I am and who I want to be. 2005 will be a year of actualization, of making things happen, of being about it instead of just talking about it. Don't talk about it, be about it.
School starts tomorrow. I still don't have access to all my classes yet due to glitches in the web interfaces, I have no books and enter the semester only armed with a class schedule. Let the games begin anew. I'm just ready to get another semester out of the way and be that much closer to graduation. I'm reading a book called Revolting LIbrarians Redux, full of essays and material by alternative librarians looking to change the system; it's the necessary inspiration I could use right now to keep on going, because some of my classes can be downright painful, boring like molar cavities. It beats waiting tables full time, no contest, and provides my life with that concrete purpose that I seem to need at intervals.
Speaking of waiting tables, I am no longer on the server schedule at Murphy's. I bartend now 3 days a week and that's it. I got the pleasure of quitting my job without actually losing my source of income. I stand now a man without an apron and couldn't feel better about it. I like the idea that I can pick up shifts whenever I want, but now it's all on my terms. Though my work often feels empty and meaningless and I crave an occupation that gives me a greater sense of satisfaction, I must remember that this works very well for school, and without it things would be more difficult. I should just enjoy being a student.
Things change, things stay the same. It feels like so much has transpired in the last weeks, that my heart has been through the spin cycle at the Laundromat of Our Beloved Emotions. Between parents, grandparents, glimmers of love and romance...everything makes a sort of perfect sense that cannot be properly articulated (or that I do not want to articulate for fear of misnaming it). All is just as it should be. What more can be said about it than that? I cannot change the world, I can only change the way I perceive it.
School starts tomorrow. I still don't have access to all my classes yet due to glitches in the web interfaces, I have no books and enter the semester only armed with a class schedule. Let the games begin anew. I'm just ready to get another semester out of the way and be that much closer to graduation. I'm reading a book called Revolting LIbrarians Redux, full of essays and material by alternative librarians looking to change the system; it's the necessary inspiration I could use right now to keep on going, because some of my classes can be downright painful, boring like molar cavities. It beats waiting tables full time, no contest, and provides my life with that concrete purpose that I seem to need at intervals.
Speaking of waiting tables, I am no longer on the server schedule at Murphy's. I bartend now 3 days a week and that's it. I got the pleasure of quitting my job without actually losing my source of income. I stand now a man without an apron and couldn't feel better about it. I like the idea that I can pick up shifts whenever I want, but now it's all on my terms. Though my work often feels empty and meaningless and I crave an occupation that gives me a greater sense of satisfaction, I must remember that this works very well for school, and without it things would be more difficult. I should just enjoy being a student.
Things change, things stay the same. It feels like so much has transpired in the last weeks, that my heart has been through the spin cycle at the Laundromat of Our Beloved Emotions. Between parents, grandparents, glimmers of love and romance...everything makes a sort of perfect sense that cannot be properly articulated (or that I do not want to articulate for fear of misnaming it). All is just as it should be. What more can be said about it than that? I cannot change the world, I can only change the way I perceive it.