5 years ago...: igiveupalready

igiveupalready

5 years ago...

May 22, 2015 19:41

Ever just stop and think... whats the point?

Whats the point of getting up everyday to do go to a job that is just mediocre? Kind of going through a phase right now. I absolutely love my life, and everyone and everything involved in it. I am actually truly genuinely happy and content with where I am in life. Who I've become over the years. How people perceive me, my thoughts, my actions, and everything around me. I've worked extremely hard over the past few years to be the person I am today. I've traveled and met some pretty incredible and amazing people in this world. I've also had a lot of heartache. Let people push me around and disrespect me for far too long than I should have, but, I learned from it. I grew. I prospered.

Everything in my life up until this point has happened exactly the way it was planned. I never really knew where I was headed or what I was doing. Heck, I still don't. But, I've learned a few things over the past few years. Maybe even the past year to be specific. I really feel like being 26/27 has changed my life. I left a secure "comfortable" job because I always have this never ending eagerness to learn. Most people would have been content with my life and never ever have dreamed of leaving something "so great". Don't get me wrong, my job was pretty amazing- I worked from home a lot, my boss was in NYC, I made my own hours and my boss was super laid back because he know I got my work done and didn't care what I did. He also looked for someone for a year or two (I can't remember) before he hired me. He said no one else was good enough. I went from being in an entry level position at Citi, to becoming an AVP. In one year. Level "C3" to a C12. Typically the levels go from C3, B10, B11, then C12. So to jump 3 levels is a pretty big deal. Anyway, Life was great. Except, I was bored out of my mind. See, the thing about me is I get bored very easily. I don't like to be bored. Once I figure something out, I need to move on and conquer my next challenge. My life is always about different challenges. My dad once told me that when he was born he knew I would be "the one" to change things. I would be different. I honestly think I've lived up to that expectation thus far.

I was the first out of my family to attend college.
I was the first to leave the country. Even though it was my second time ever on an airplane, and I moved away for almost 6 months.
I was also the first one to graduate college.
I then moved on to get my masters.
I worked for a car insurance company. I worked for a bank. I worked for a health insurance company. I've also worked in retail, restaurants, grocery stores, fast food stores, event planning, and I've even told people what to do with their money. See the thing about me is I need to know, see, and do everything. I want to know all details and ask questions. Lots of them. I'm never content. I like being challenged. Even more so, I love conquering a challenge. I love being different and unique.

6 years ago I graduated from college. 5 years ago I graduated with my MBA. In 2008 I was living in Australia. In 2009 before I started grad school, I went back to Australia. I also then studied abroad and went to London & Ireland for another 3 weeks. 6 weeks of traveling for the summer. SIX WEEKS. What an amazing amazing graduation gift to myself. I find myself now feeling the urge to get out there and travel. To explore. To just BE. Not to sit at a desk day after day and do work. Its not that I don't like working. I love working. But I also love seeing what life is really about. I just feel like lately I need to travel. There's something else out there for me and I can't wait to see whats next.

I applied back at Citi in February. End of February. Didn't hear back for probably a month or two. Had a phone interview end of March maybe. A month rolled by and heard nothing. Then, when I was in Florida in April, I got an email to interview. So when I came back I had an interview April 30. Then a callback for a second interview, which actually turned out to be meeting 3 people, including the SVP, to see if this position would be the right fit for me. Needless to say, I'm fairly certain I'll be getting offered the job very soon here. I will be an AVP again, and a team coordinator responsible for 5 people, and eventually move on to the VP position in FX.

Its so weirdly awesome how life just seems to fall into place. Maybe it doesn't just "fall" into place. Maybe it really is me just having to work my ass off all these years and everything working out, and finally just realizing that everything's gonna be alright.

If I get offered this position at Citi, I'm taking a few weeks before starting and traveling to Europe. I don't even care if I have to go alone. I just need to see what else is out there. Live my life to the fullest. I feel like the past 5 years of being in a relationship have changed me. I became a person who I didn't know who I was. I conformed to his lifestyle for him to like me. I'm not that person. It took me a while to break from that, but I know that I could never be that person again. I like who I've become, and now I need to make up for lost time by exploring.

Throwback to traveling days, and me being blonde: