Well i am back again.
Hey everyone, it is me the one person who just seems to be popping up every now an then.
It just seems silly really.
Yes indeed I do read Tyrone's live journal, silly i know, and i don't really know why i do but i think it is just that i miss him, not so much like i did but i always found tyrone to be an intelligent person and i loved to talk to him. As i sit here smoking a cig, just thinking about how much more i can type about the subject. When i heard about what happend to him i didn't really know what to say but that i felt bad about it. And i would like to state that i am happy for him that he has found a nice guy to be with.
Tammy:
I hope that all is well with you. I haven't heard from you in such a long time. How are you and kristina doing, good i hope. I talk to rochelle maybe yesterday and was asking about you. I miss you so much and you should call me once in a while.
Kristina:
I hope you are doing well as well. I miss all the times me, you and tammy used to talk to each other just about anything. As much as this pains me to say, i miss job corps simply for one reason, all the friends that i had made there especially you and tammy and rochelle.
College:
Well that idea has been put on hold for right now, just because i have to work to pay all my bills. But i do plan on going for drama and for singing.
Career:
What do i want my career to be, hmm. Well what i would really luv to do is sing and i am trying to pursue that avenue by saving enough money up for some studio time. I don't really write my own stuff, but i just want my voice to be heard.
The dating scene:
Well it has been difficult for me to find a boyfriend, just simply because i work a lot and i spend most of my free time with my best friend Angelina. She and I are really close, but it seems to be dimming because of her knew boyfriend nick. He is a really nice guy and everything but things between them just seem to be going way to fast. I mean they talk about getting married and moving in with one another, they have only been going out for 3 months.
Weight Problems:
I don't know what is going on with me. It is like i gain a pound everyday, but i excersice everyday, and i eat less as well i don't know what to do. I think that i might try my moms diet because it seems to be working for her. I am just tried of feeling like i have to settle, i want a good looking man, with a nice body and a man that luvs me.
20 and still live with my mom:
My mother and I were talking the other day because i was feeling really down about myself, she asked me what was wrong and i told her that i hate being me. I hate my life, she couldn't understand why so i told her. I have no boyfriend, i work a dead end job, and im 20 and still live with my mother. That isnt something that she liked to hear because i know that she likes to have me around, but i just want to move on with my life. I told her that i don't know where i am going to be in a year, and she asked me "why where are you going," I told her that i didn't know, but that i was scared of the future. I don't want to end up homeless again, and that i don't ever want to feel the way that i did when i was walking with all my bags in downtown providence. That was a turning point for me, I saw things that most teenagers can't possably imagine, and i was so scared for my life. She told me not to worry and that she isn't kicking me out anytime soon, that brought some comfort, but that dosen't fix what i am trying to achieve. I want my own place, my own car, and nice things, but i am not going to get all of that stuff living with my mom.
I miss my brother so much:
It has been many months sence i have seen or heard from my brother. He has been really distant lately, well not lately for almost two years from the family, and i just wish that he would come to the realization that family is all you have, because when it comes down to it family will be there. He seems to think that his friends are more important, and his games, and computer stuff. Me an my brother used to be so close but now i feel like i don't even have a brother anymore. I would call him to see how he is doing but he never answers the phone. I hear from other people where he is staying, and what he is doing with his life. I don't know someday he will realize that i won't be around forever.
A new Family yeah:
My dad has decided to ask dolly to marry him. Which means that i get two step sisters, not what i had in mind. I mean I luv dolly and her kids, and so does my dad and i think thats what pisses me off about this whole thing. My dad is there for her kids and plays with them, But when i was growing up he never was there for me or my brother. I just wish that he would be there for me now when i need him, and think about her kids second. But that isnt going to happen. It seems silly of me to want this now, but i see him buy her kids things, and help them when they need it, but when i was a kid he never gave my mother any money, when i say no money thats what i mean. he would always be out with his buddies getting drunk, or buying a new fishing poll or new tools, when i was sick my dad didnt give my mom any money for me to get medicine, but now i see that he does for dollies kids more that he did for me or my brother. I havent been able to tell him this yet.
Anyways it has been great fun, and will probably be a long time before i update once again so i leave this to you to read for a long time.
luv and kiss to all.
It just seems silly really.
Yes indeed I do read Tyrone's live journal, silly i know, and i don't really know why i do but i think it is just that i miss him, not so much like i did but i always found tyrone to be an intelligent person and i loved to talk to him. As i sit here smoking a cig, just thinking about how much more i can type about the subject. When i heard about what happend to him i didn't really know what to say but that i felt bad about it. And i would like to state that i am happy for him that he has found a nice guy to be with.
Tammy:
I hope that all is well with you. I haven't heard from you in such a long time. How are you and kristina doing, good i hope. I talk to rochelle maybe yesterday and was asking about you. I miss you so much and you should call me once in a while.
Kristina:
I hope you are doing well as well. I miss all the times me, you and tammy used to talk to each other just about anything. As much as this pains me to say, i miss job corps simply for one reason, all the friends that i had made there especially you and tammy and rochelle.
College:
Well that idea has been put on hold for right now, just because i have to work to pay all my bills. But i do plan on going for drama and for singing.
Career:
What do i want my career to be, hmm. Well what i would really luv to do is sing and i am trying to pursue that avenue by saving enough money up for some studio time. I don't really write my own stuff, but i just want my voice to be heard.
The dating scene:
Well it has been difficult for me to find a boyfriend, just simply because i work a lot and i spend most of my free time with my best friend Angelina. She and I are really close, but it seems to be dimming because of her knew boyfriend nick. He is a really nice guy and everything but things between them just seem to be going way to fast. I mean they talk about getting married and moving in with one another, they have only been going out for 3 months.
Weight Problems:
I don't know what is going on with me. It is like i gain a pound everyday, but i excersice everyday, and i eat less as well i don't know what to do. I think that i might try my moms diet because it seems to be working for her. I am just tried of feeling like i have to settle, i want a good looking man, with a nice body and a man that luvs me.
20 and still live with my mom:
My mother and I were talking the other day because i was feeling really down about myself, she asked me what was wrong and i told her that i hate being me. I hate my life, she couldn't understand why so i told her. I have no boyfriend, i work a dead end job, and im 20 and still live with my mother. That isnt something that she liked to hear because i know that she likes to have me around, but i just want to move on with my life. I told her that i don't know where i am going to be in a year, and she asked me "why where are you going," I told her that i didn't know, but that i was scared of the future. I don't want to end up homeless again, and that i don't ever want to feel the way that i did when i was walking with all my bags in downtown providence. That was a turning point for me, I saw things that most teenagers can't possably imagine, and i was so scared for my life. She told me not to worry and that she isn't kicking me out anytime soon, that brought some comfort, but that dosen't fix what i am trying to achieve. I want my own place, my own car, and nice things, but i am not going to get all of that stuff living with my mom.
I miss my brother so much:
It has been many months sence i have seen or heard from my brother. He has been really distant lately, well not lately for almost two years from the family, and i just wish that he would come to the realization that family is all you have, because when it comes down to it family will be there. He seems to think that his friends are more important, and his games, and computer stuff. Me an my brother used to be so close but now i feel like i don't even have a brother anymore. I would call him to see how he is doing but he never answers the phone. I hear from other people where he is staying, and what he is doing with his life. I don't know someday he will realize that i won't be around forever.
A new Family yeah:
My dad has decided to ask dolly to marry him. Which means that i get two step sisters, not what i had in mind. I mean I luv dolly and her kids, and so does my dad and i think thats what pisses me off about this whole thing. My dad is there for her kids and plays with them, But when i was growing up he never was there for me or my brother. I just wish that he would be there for me now when i need him, and think about her kids second. But that isnt going to happen. It seems silly of me to want this now, but i see him buy her kids things, and help them when they need it, but when i was a kid he never gave my mother any money, when i say no money thats what i mean. he would always be out with his buddies getting drunk, or buying a new fishing poll or new tools, when i was sick my dad didnt give my mom any money for me to get medicine, but now i see that he does for dollies kids more that he did for me or my brother. I havent been able to tell him this yet.
Anyways it has been great fun, and will probably be a long time before i update once again so i leave this to you to read for a long time.
luv and kiss to all.