this is our last goodbye..
you know your day is going to be stellar when you wake up in the morning to the sounds of your mother crying hysterically. it seems like the rest of the morning is a blur. like a bad dream i had, i was sure that when i came home today everything was going to be the same as yesterday, that it didnt really happen. but when i came home my mom was still crying and virgil was still gone.
virgil atticus summers is dead. apparently some fucking idiot on a motorcycle hit him last night, in the face. the poor little cat got hit in the fucking face. i couldn't even look at him when we buried him this morning because he was so mangled. i don't u nderstand life most of the time i dont understand it. i fucking dont get it.
my mom is devastated, virgil was her best friend. when she was sick, so sick with chemo that she couldn't even get out of bed virgil stayed by her side. day and night. when my dad was at work and i was at school and we couldn't comfort her there was virgil by her side.
i don't know what's worse when i had to watch corey slowly die from cancer, to watch him wither away, to seizure until one day he just couldn't hold on any longer. or for this to happen to watch a perfectly healthy and happy two year old cat who was so full of life and energy just die so senselessly.
just another fucking reason to make me bitter towards the world.
i can't even stand to look at fiona, all she's done since i've been home is stare out the window. i wish i could tell her, i wish i could make her understand that virgil isn't coming back.
i just picked her up and brought her over to his grave. his blood was on a few of the rocks in the garden and she sat there smelling it. and so now lies there virgil and corey. i hate death i hate feeling this way. i can't stand to look at my mother she is so depressed. she loved the cat so much. i'm still waiting for him to just bound up the stairs and stare at me or for me to see him sitting with a bird in his mouth or something so i have to chase him around the yard to let it go. i'm waiting for him to attack my feet or cry and cry until i pick him up and hug him.
fiona, stop staring out the window. it just makes it worse.
in other news, camp is coming to fall river this weekend. apparently no one at camp knows about the joyous celebration that is fall river celebrates america. so ryan melissa javid simone jake there going to experience all the glory and wonder. haha.
i feel terrible for laughing. i feel like i'm betraying him but i cant wallow. i couldnt even mourn today. when i told tyler he gave me a look like so what and all the kids think it's funny. it was nice to laugh i guess but i kept thinking about when i came home that i was never going to see virgil again. i almost threw up a thousand times today because all i can see is this morning the way he looked his whole jaw was like taken off. i just don't understand it, i don't understand it at all. virgil was afraid of cars, he never got near them. i just dont' understand anything.
in other other news
i once again saw the future. andrea won an under the cap thing from coke which never ever happens at camp. we had both prophecied it happening right before it did.
i think thinks are getting a bit better with tyler. i don't think we are going to be friends again. which is sad i guess but whatever. it's not a huge loss. at least we were able to stand in the same general vicinity today.
virgil atticus summers is dead. apparently some fucking idiot on a motorcycle hit him last night, in the face. the poor little cat got hit in the fucking face. i couldn't even look at him when we buried him this morning because he was so mangled. i don't u nderstand life most of the time i dont understand it. i fucking dont get it.
my mom is devastated, virgil was her best friend. when she was sick, so sick with chemo that she couldn't even get out of bed virgil stayed by her side. day and night. when my dad was at work and i was at school and we couldn't comfort her there was virgil by her side.
i don't know what's worse when i had to watch corey slowly die from cancer, to watch him wither away, to seizure until one day he just couldn't hold on any longer. or for this to happen to watch a perfectly healthy and happy two year old cat who was so full of life and energy just die so senselessly.
just another fucking reason to make me bitter towards the world.
i can't even stand to look at fiona, all she's done since i've been home is stare out the window. i wish i could tell her, i wish i could make her understand that virgil isn't coming back.
i just picked her up and brought her over to his grave. his blood was on a few of the rocks in the garden and she sat there smelling it. and so now lies there virgil and corey. i hate death i hate feeling this way. i can't stand to look at my mother she is so depressed. she loved the cat so much. i'm still waiting for him to just bound up the stairs and stare at me or for me to see him sitting with a bird in his mouth or something so i have to chase him around the yard to let it go. i'm waiting for him to attack my feet or cry and cry until i pick him up and hug him.
fiona, stop staring out the window. it just makes it worse.
in other news, camp is coming to fall river this weekend. apparently no one at camp knows about the joyous celebration that is fall river celebrates america. so ryan melissa javid simone jake there going to experience all the glory and wonder. haha.
i feel terrible for laughing. i feel like i'm betraying him but i cant wallow. i couldnt even mourn today. when i told tyler he gave me a look like so what and all the kids think it's funny. it was nice to laugh i guess but i kept thinking about when i came home that i was never going to see virgil again. i almost threw up a thousand times today because all i can see is this morning the way he looked his whole jaw was like taken off. i just don't understand it, i don't understand it at all. virgil was afraid of cars, he never got near them. i just dont' understand anything.
in other other news
i once again saw the future. andrea won an under the cap thing from coke which never ever happens at camp. we had both prophecied it happening right before it did.
i think thinks are getting a bit better with tyler. i don't think we are going to be friends again. which is sad i guess but whatever. it's not a huge loss. at least we were able to stand in the same general vicinity today.