(no subject)

[ifyouwishit]

today sucks! cody and i have done nothing but fight. all because i wanted him to come over. i guess i'm asking to much of him to want to spend time with me. we used to be inseperable and now i feel like i have to talk him in to hanging out with me.

maybe we shouldn't be together.... i don't know. i dont konw what he wants. i love him more than i ever thought i could love someone after allen. and i don't want to throw that away, but i seriously don't think he wants to be with me anymore. all i can see right now is how we are falling apart....just like allen and i did...i guess i was wrong to try and date again. i fucked things up with the only person who would put up with me, and now that i'm trying to make this work i've just set myself up to fail....

god i dont know
i love him
i really don't want to be with out him.
i'm happier than i've been in a long time when we arent fighting.
it just seems like thats all we do now.
unless we are together
then we act like nothing is wrong.
i just want to cry.

((someone just shoot me))
-nikki-