(no subject)

[ifyouwantme]

i am really thinking about everything and nothing all at the same time. i graduate in a year with a degree i cant really do anything with. i am incredibly bored with just about everything and everyone.

i am also somewhat uncomfortable with the me ive been lately. i drink way too much, i've gotten loud and obnoxious and i get to a point that i don't even care. sorry... only i guess im really not.

i'm bi-polar. and this year has been quite hard on me. after a wonderfully manic summer this winter brought a debilitating depression. i really withdrew, and that i really am sorry for. and now being on medication makes getting up in the morning a little more pleasant, the days are sort of foggy, and i have this strange mix of social awkwardness i have never ever experienced before and don't really know how to deal with, and a reckless disregard for acceptable behavior. my impulse control has gotten better in the last month or so, but i still find my self being a bit of a sociopath.

but anyway. so even tho lj isnt used as much as in the past, if you read it and have been wondering just what was with me. well. now you know.