001}{ MORGAN VS. WADE WELLES

[ifyourenasty]

[audio post]

This is a dream. This is clearly a dream and it is an epic dream which may, in fact, be the Best. Dream. Ever. It could only be better if it was full of naked Ellie. And because it's very obviously a dream, Chuck can't hate me forever for saying that out loud.

And also because it's a dream and a lucid dream at that, if I concentrate

Comments

voice;

[adamantined]

Because short people rule.

voice;

[ifyourenasty]

Short girls, maybe. Not short guys.

Short guys? The get beat up.

voice;

[adamantined]

I think I would be way more willing to sympathize with a short guy than I would with a tall guy. Because tall guys are mean.

voice;

[ifyourenasty]

Not all tall guys. Just most of them. My buddy Chuck is tall and he is the greatest guy in the universe. No joke.

voice;

[adamantined]

I know your buddy Chuck. Sort of. He might've mentioned you once or twice or like a thousand times. Something about a sandworm. But he is pretty much the greatest guy in the universe.

voice; 1/2

[ifyourenasty]

You know Chuck.

Right. Of course you know Chuck. Smoking hot blonde. Why wouldn't you know Chuck.

voice;

[ifyourenasty]

He told you about me?

voice; 1/2

[adamantined]

Hello, awkward.

voice;

[adamantined]

He might have mentioned you once or twice.

voice; 1/2

[ifyourenasty]

Sorry. About.

The hot thing.

I mean you are totally one-hundred-percent a total catch, but that's not good first conversation material is it?

Right.

voice;

[ifyourenasty]

Neat.

I mean, you know, of course he did. Chuck's my best friend of more than twenty years. We're tight like peanut butter and grape jelly.

voice; 1/2

[adamantined]

I think it's good first conversation material if...

I'm not going to finish that line of thought because it's weird and awkward and never going to happen anyway because this isn't a bar. At least you didn't ask what my sign was.

Right.

voice;

[adamantined]

Which one of you is the peanut butter and which one is the jelly?

voice; 1/2

[ifyourenasty]

I'm a Scorpio. My mom says that's why I'm always thinking abooooooou-- you know what? Moving on.

voice;

[ifyourenasty]

Chuck's the peanut butter. Chunky peanut butter. Because he has special character and he's more durable than your average spreadable condiment. And also because people tend to not realize why crunchy peanut butter is a cut above other peanut butters because they assume they won't like it and don't try it, even when they should.

And I'm the jelly. Because...my olivey complexion looks good in purple t-shirts.

voice; 1/2

[adamantined]

I'll overlook that.