[thenewpub]
Title: I Gave You All
Author: defy_n_gravity
Prompt: thenewpub: Communicate through touch
Characters: Tara Cole/Sophie Devereaux
Rating: M
Words: 506
Disclaimer: No claim on Leverage or it's characters, they belong to other people.
There hadn't been a word between them. Not since before the clothes started to come off and the familiar motions came through again. Not since the kiss that had silenced the arguing. Now Sophie just watched Tara, looking for meaning, looking for the words that the other woman could never offer her. It was just the thing that took them so far from each other over the years. Tara kept her gaze for only a moment before dropping it. She couldn't.
She knew Sophie knew how she felt about Nate and the way he treated her friend, and she knew the argument was pointless. Sophie wanted to hear something from her that she couldn't give and without it she couldn't let go of the man any easier, despite what she said about him.
Sophie reached for Tara's cheek; just a soft touch. A caress. Tara looked up to meet her eyes again and willed herself to say what she really wanted to say, to say what she really felt, but she couldn't. Her hand covered Sophie's and pulled it from her face. She took the woman's fingers to her lips and kissed them softly before dropping them. She started to pull herself from the bed, feeling for clothes on the floor and slipping them on.
Sophie sat up and watched her, closing her teeth over her lip to keep her mouth shut. She knew that this was how it was between them. She knew Tara cared about her, but just like Nate she couldn't give in to it. It hurt. It hurt deeply. It made her feel like it was her, even though she knew that both Nate and Tara had their respective issues. And a part of her hated herself for falling into that place with Tara again. That place where she wanted and craved and hoped. That place that she was also frequenting with Nate.
She moved to edge of the bed, pulling the sheets over herself, and reached to grab onto Tara's arm before the woman could start for the door. She pulled her close and gazed up at her. Sophie knew, and she understood. Words were only going to push Tara out the door faster and she didn't want that. Instead she just watched her.
Tara felt it. She felt it run all the way through her, and she knew just what Sophie was doing. Sophie seemed to think she knew Tara so well, but she knew the woman just as well. She needed and she wanted, and it was too much for Tara. The feelings were coming over her fast, suffocating, and she needed to leave. It was what she did after all. She nodded slowly, leaning in to press a light kiss to Sophie's forehead, then she stepped back and turned for the door.
As Tara walked out the door she kept her eyes on her feet and Sophie looked away. It wasn't goodbye and it wasn't the end, it never was, but that didn't exactly get them anywhere either.
Title: Untitled
Author: defy_n_gravity
Prompt: thenewpub: a letter lost in the mail for years, then found
Characters: Evie Rallita, Akeelah Rallita
Rating: M
Words: 449
Disclaimer: Original characters. They belong to me. Don't take or I will hurt you.
She almost fell to the ground the moment she pulled the letter from the mailbox. That scrawl across the envelope was one she hadn't seen in years, but she would never forget it. The countless notes she still had tucked away, scribbled on anything random he would find, never saw the light of day but had that same writing.
Her hands shook as she turned the envelope over and examined it. Surely it had to be some kind of joke, a sick one, but a joke nonetheless. He was dead. Dead men didn't write letters.
Her stomach lurched as she saw the postmark and date. She carefully opened the envelope and pulled the paper out, and as her eyes started to scan it she pieced it together. One of his stints in rehab.
I love you, baby. I can't wait to get out of here. It's a joke...........I just want to be with you. Nothing else matters...
It had been a long time since she had cried for him. It had been a long time since she let herself, but she couldn't stop it. She brought the pages up to her face and inhaled them in hopes of smelling him, but all she could smell was paper and age. He wasn't there anymore. The words were his, the writing was his, but it wasn't him.
She slowly folded the letter up, put it back in the envelope, and returned it to the mailbox. She didn't want it. She wanted him. Being clean, the therapy, the talking...none of it truly meant anything, because he was still gone. And she was still addicted to her need to be his.
She turned, feeling like her weight was multiplied as she tried to get herself inside before breaking. The sobs were rising in her throat and she couldn't breathe past them. She could barely get herself through the front door. When she finally did her body gave out and she tumbled onto the floor, the sob escaping even more painful than it had been to hold it in. She couldn't help it. It didn't matter what she had been through for him, because of him. It didn't matter what repressed things were coming to light. She couldn't stop loving him, and she couldn't stop needing him there to love her. It was an addiction just as strong as any other she had, and it had clouded so much, but she couldn't get passed it. She couldn't forget it what it used to feel like.
The one thing she had forgotten though was that she wasn't alone anymore, and her sister was there to silently catch her and hold her tightly through it all.
Title: Better Sorry Than Safe
Author: defy_n_gravity
Prompt: thenewpub: (S)He looked at the caller ID and frowned, unsure whether to take this call or not.
Characters: Tara Cole
Rating: M
Words: 434
Disclaimer: No claim on Leverage or it's characters, they belong to other people.
She was on her second glass of wine when the phone rang again. She picked it up and looked at the caller ID, already knowing who it would be. She brought the glass to her lips again to take a long gulp while she eyed the name on the screen. A part of her wanted to answer, to hear that voice, but a larger part of her wanted to avoid it all.
Her eyes closed and she let her hand and the phone fall into her lap. Again she brought her glass to her lips and let the warmth slide down her throat and through her veins. Were she anywhere else, with anyone, it would be something else. Whiskey, vodka, maybe even a dark beer. What she drank depended on whatever she was trying to convey, and either way it was usually something tough. But here, alone, her drink of choice was always a soft, white wine. It was a comfort, and she needed comfort wherever she could let herself have it. She hated what that probably said about her, and that's why there wasn't a soul who was in on her secret.
The phone went off again and something in her ached. It could have been her heart, if she believed in it enough. She finished off the glass and poured another, then looked at the phone again. The same name was there. Missed.
She knew it wouldn't last. She knew there would be three calls. One wanting to talk, one of concern, and then that third one. That would be the anger. She hated the anger most of all, because she knew that it was just hurt, and despite what people thought of her she really didn't like hurting everyone. She hated it. She hated that she couldn't deal. She hated that instead of answering that call, feeling the warmth of the voice on the other end, she was ignoring it. But she knew. She knew that she was getting herself drunk, and she knew if she answered that call and heard that voice, that she'd weave her way into the situation again. She'd go looking for warmth and touch and release, and in the end she would just run away again, leaving it all even more fucked up than it already was.
She sipped from her glass again and looked at her phone, waiting for it to ring again, even though she knew it wouldn't. There had been a window, and she missed it. That was good though, because she wasn't about to open that window on her own. Not tonight.
Title: What I Didn't Say
Author: defy_n_gravity
Prompt: thenewpub: "Top 10 Reasons I think you're an ass"
Characters: Tara Cole, Nate Ford
Rating: M
Words: 703
Disclaimer: No claim on Leverage or it's characters, they belong to other people.
Nate just stared at Tara, his brow raised slightly. “Say that again?”
She stared right back with a straight face. “You're an asshole,” she repeated. “What? Want me to count the ways?”
He leaned back where he sat in the booth and sighed. “Go ahead, maybe I'll learn something.”
She smirked slightly and picked up her beer bottle. “Fine. Okay let's start with the fact that you have this entire little Robin Hood team going that all seem to do whatever you ask of them and you don't appreciate them, one.” She took a sip of the beer and set it down, then held up a finger, then a second. “Two, I think you actually made Parker cry back there, which...you know, she's a little nuts, but that really isn't cool at all. Three-”
His head shook slightly and he interrupted her. “How many do you have?”
Tara grinned a little more. “Oh I have plenty, but I thought I'd go with top ten.”
Nate thought about that then sat back again. “Continue.” He raised his drink to his lips and took a sip.
“Three? The drinking thing. You're just a mess with it. You should grow some balls and learn how to be a better drunk. Four, you like to make everyone think you're better than them and no one likes that. Five, you're a control freak. You need to learn to loosen up a bit, especially if you're doing this 'I'm on a team' bit. Six, you don't listen to people. You talk and talk and talk, and expect everyone to pay rapt attention, but you don't return it. Seven, you treat Eliot like a hired goon sometimes. Which...I get it...he's your goon, but he has some decent ideas. Eight? Hardison looks up to you and you just...squash him most of the time. Nine, you act like the world is to blame for your problems when really that blame could be narrowed down a little bit.”
Nate listened while she went through all of her reasons, and while they were nothing he hadn't heard before, she had her own way of throwing them at him that he had to appreciate. Just a bit. Not a lot. His patience was wearing thin as she wrapped number nine and he waited for the last one, but it didn't come right away. He watched her lean back and stretch her arm out across the back of the booth.
“And number ten?”
She looked above his head in thought for a long time, then slowly her gaze came down to meet his, and her eyes pierced into his. He couldn't look away if he wanted to. He had been waiting for the subject of Sophie to come up, and so far it hadn't. He didn't know much about their friendship, but he knew if Sophie had sent Tara to them than they had to have been close in some regard. Which meant that Tara had to have some protective feelings over the other woman.
He waited silently and didn't even pick up his glass. It was several more beats of silence before she did speak up, and her voice was softer than before. Less bite than there previously had been.
“She loves you.”
He didn't even blink before responding, but he was carefully gauging her and her response. “And that makes me an asshole?”
“No, what makes you an asshole is that you can't take it and give it back to her.”
“I think it'd make me a larger asshole if I made her believe I could before not doing it,” he replied.
“So you're sparing her?”
“Something like that, yeah.”
“Why is it up to you?”
“Because....” He sighed and shrugged, picking up his glass and raising it. “Because I'm an asshole.”
She nodded and picked up her beer, then clinked it with his glass. “And that's the one place where we're the same.” And she closed her eyes, tipping her head back to drain the bottle, avoiding seeing the look in his eyes as he made the connection of what that meant.
Author: defy_n_gravity
Prompt: thenewpub: Communicate through touch
Characters: Tara Cole/Sophie Devereaux
Rating: M
Words: 506
Disclaimer: No claim on Leverage or it's characters, they belong to other people.
There hadn't been a word between them. Not since before the clothes started to come off and the familiar motions came through again. Not since the kiss that had silenced the arguing. Now Sophie just watched Tara, looking for meaning, looking for the words that the other woman could never offer her. It was just the thing that took them so far from each other over the years. Tara kept her gaze for only a moment before dropping it. She couldn't.
She knew Sophie knew how she felt about Nate and the way he treated her friend, and she knew the argument was pointless. Sophie wanted to hear something from her that she couldn't give and without it she couldn't let go of the man any easier, despite what she said about him.
Sophie reached for Tara's cheek; just a soft touch. A caress. Tara looked up to meet her eyes again and willed herself to say what she really wanted to say, to say what she really felt, but she couldn't. Her hand covered Sophie's and pulled it from her face. She took the woman's fingers to her lips and kissed them softly before dropping them. She started to pull herself from the bed, feeling for clothes on the floor and slipping them on.
Sophie sat up and watched her, closing her teeth over her lip to keep her mouth shut. She knew that this was how it was between them. She knew Tara cared about her, but just like Nate she couldn't give in to it. It hurt. It hurt deeply. It made her feel like it was her, even though she knew that both Nate and Tara had their respective issues. And a part of her hated herself for falling into that place with Tara again. That place where she wanted and craved and hoped. That place that she was also frequenting with Nate.
She moved to edge of the bed, pulling the sheets over herself, and reached to grab onto Tara's arm before the woman could start for the door. She pulled her close and gazed up at her. Sophie knew, and she understood. Words were only going to push Tara out the door faster and she didn't want that. Instead she just watched her.
Tara felt it. She felt it run all the way through her, and she knew just what Sophie was doing. Sophie seemed to think she knew Tara so well, but she knew the woman just as well. She needed and she wanted, and it was too much for Tara. The feelings were coming over her fast, suffocating, and she needed to leave. It was what she did after all. She nodded slowly, leaning in to press a light kiss to Sophie's forehead, then she stepped back and turned for the door.
As Tara walked out the door she kept her eyes on her feet and Sophie looked away. It wasn't goodbye and it wasn't the end, it never was, but that didn't exactly get them anywhere either.
Title: Untitled
Author: defy_n_gravity
Prompt: thenewpub: a letter lost in the mail for years, then found
Characters: Evie Rallita, Akeelah Rallita
Rating: M
Words: 449
Disclaimer: Original characters. They belong to me. Don't take or I will hurt you.
She almost fell to the ground the moment she pulled the letter from the mailbox. That scrawl across the envelope was one she hadn't seen in years, but she would never forget it. The countless notes she still had tucked away, scribbled on anything random he would find, never saw the light of day but had that same writing.
Her hands shook as she turned the envelope over and examined it. Surely it had to be some kind of joke, a sick one, but a joke nonetheless. He was dead. Dead men didn't write letters.
Her stomach lurched as she saw the postmark and date. She carefully opened the envelope and pulled the paper out, and as her eyes started to scan it she pieced it together. One of his stints in rehab.
I love you, baby. I can't wait to get out of here. It's a joke...........I just want to be with you. Nothing else matters...
It had been a long time since she had cried for him. It had been a long time since she let herself, but she couldn't stop it. She brought the pages up to her face and inhaled them in hopes of smelling him, but all she could smell was paper and age. He wasn't there anymore. The words were his, the writing was his, but it wasn't him.
She slowly folded the letter up, put it back in the envelope, and returned it to the mailbox. She didn't want it. She wanted him. Being clean, the therapy, the talking...none of it truly meant anything, because he was still gone. And she was still addicted to her need to be his.
She turned, feeling like her weight was multiplied as she tried to get herself inside before breaking. The sobs were rising in her throat and she couldn't breathe past them. She could barely get herself through the front door. When she finally did her body gave out and she tumbled onto the floor, the sob escaping even more painful than it had been to hold it in. She couldn't help it. It didn't matter what she had been through for him, because of him. It didn't matter what repressed things were coming to light. She couldn't stop loving him, and she couldn't stop needing him there to love her. It was an addiction just as strong as any other she had, and it had clouded so much, but she couldn't get passed it. She couldn't forget it what it used to feel like.
The one thing she had forgotten though was that she wasn't alone anymore, and her sister was there to silently catch her and hold her tightly through it all.
Title: Better Sorry Than Safe
Author: defy_n_gravity
Prompt: thenewpub: (S)He looked at the caller ID and frowned, unsure whether to take this call or not.
Characters: Tara Cole
Rating: M
Words: 434
Disclaimer: No claim on Leverage or it's characters, they belong to other people.
She was on her second glass of wine when the phone rang again. She picked it up and looked at the caller ID, already knowing who it would be. She brought the glass to her lips again to take a long gulp while she eyed the name on the screen. A part of her wanted to answer, to hear that voice, but a larger part of her wanted to avoid it all.
Her eyes closed and she let her hand and the phone fall into her lap. Again she brought her glass to her lips and let the warmth slide down her throat and through her veins. Were she anywhere else, with anyone, it would be something else. Whiskey, vodka, maybe even a dark beer. What she drank depended on whatever she was trying to convey, and either way it was usually something tough. But here, alone, her drink of choice was always a soft, white wine. It was a comfort, and she needed comfort wherever she could let herself have it. She hated what that probably said about her, and that's why there wasn't a soul who was in on her secret.
The phone went off again and something in her ached. It could have been her heart, if she believed in it enough. She finished off the glass and poured another, then looked at the phone again. The same name was there. Missed.
She knew it wouldn't last. She knew there would be three calls. One wanting to talk, one of concern, and then that third one. That would be the anger. She hated the anger most of all, because she knew that it was just hurt, and despite what people thought of her she really didn't like hurting everyone. She hated it. She hated that she couldn't deal. She hated that instead of answering that call, feeling the warmth of the voice on the other end, she was ignoring it. But she knew. She knew that she was getting herself drunk, and she knew if she answered that call and heard that voice, that she'd weave her way into the situation again. She'd go looking for warmth and touch and release, and in the end she would just run away again, leaving it all even more fucked up than it already was.
She sipped from her glass again and looked at her phone, waiting for it to ring again, even though she knew it wouldn't. There had been a window, and she missed it. That was good though, because she wasn't about to open that window on her own. Not tonight.
Title: What I Didn't Say
Author: defy_n_gravity
Prompt: thenewpub: "Top 10 Reasons I think you're an ass"
Characters: Tara Cole, Nate Ford
Rating: M
Words: 703
Disclaimer: No claim on Leverage or it's characters, they belong to other people.
Nate just stared at Tara, his brow raised slightly. “Say that again?”
She stared right back with a straight face. “You're an asshole,” she repeated. “What? Want me to count the ways?”
He leaned back where he sat in the booth and sighed. “Go ahead, maybe I'll learn something.”
She smirked slightly and picked up her beer bottle. “Fine. Okay let's start with the fact that you have this entire little Robin Hood team going that all seem to do whatever you ask of them and you don't appreciate them, one.” She took a sip of the beer and set it down, then held up a finger, then a second. “Two, I think you actually made Parker cry back there, which...you know, she's a little nuts, but that really isn't cool at all. Three-”
His head shook slightly and he interrupted her. “How many do you have?”
Tara grinned a little more. “Oh I have plenty, but I thought I'd go with top ten.”
Nate thought about that then sat back again. “Continue.” He raised his drink to his lips and took a sip.
“Three? The drinking thing. You're just a mess with it. You should grow some balls and learn how to be a better drunk. Four, you like to make everyone think you're better than them and no one likes that. Five, you're a control freak. You need to learn to loosen up a bit, especially if you're doing this 'I'm on a team' bit. Six, you don't listen to people. You talk and talk and talk, and expect everyone to pay rapt attention, but you don't return it. Seven, you treat Eliot like a hired goon sometimes. Which...I get it...he's your goon, but he has some decent ideas. Eight? Hardison looks up to you and you just...squash him most of the time. Nine, you act like the world is to blame for your problems when really that blame could be narrowed down a little bit.”
Nate listened while she went through all of her reasons, and while they were nothing he hadn't heard before, she had her own way of throwing them at him that he had to appreciate. Just a bit. Not a lot. His patience was wearing thin as she wrapped number nine and he waited for the last one, but it didn't come right away. He watched her lean back and stretch her arm out across the back of the booth.
“And number ten?”
She looked above his head in thought for a long time, then slowly her gaze came down to meet his, and her eyes pierced into his. He couldn't look away if he wanted to. He had been waiting for the subject of Sophie to come up, and so far it hadn't. He didn't know much about their friendship, but he knew if Sophie had sent Tara to them than they had to have been close in some regard. Which meant that Tara had to have some protective feelings over the other woman.
He waited silently and didn't even pick up his glass. It was several more beats of silence before she did speak up, and her voice was softer than before. Less bite than there previously had been.
“She loves you.”
He didn't even blink before responding, but he was carefully gauging her and her response. “And that makes me an asshole?”
“No, what makes you an asshole is that you can't take it and give it back to her.”
“I think it'd make me a larger asshole if I made her believe I could before not doing it,” he replied.
“So you're sparing her?”
“Something like that, yeah.”
“Why is it up to you?”
“Because....” He sighed and shrugged, picking up his glass and raising it. “Because I'm an asshole.”
She nodded and picked up her beer, then clinked it with his glass. “And that's the one place where we're the same.” And she closed her eyes, tipping her head back to drain the bottle, avoiding seeing the look in his eyes as he made the connection of what that meant.