All The Lucky Girls Out There With Their Lovers Underneath the Mistletoe
Merry Christmas, darling. It doesn't feel like Christmas at all. Last night the Schintlzers came over for dinner. I love Jackie, she's such a sweety. Then we went to church, and I read the lesson. It's all good. Everyone there is just noticing how much i grew up in the last year. And I have. This past year has been so many things have happened. Physically-- I died my hair 3 times, got contacts, grew a good six inches, and leaned out. Emotionally, I became nearly a different person. i've become colder towards a lot of people. When we left Crocket, even though i hated that school, and so many of the people in it, i loved some of them. They were my dearest friends, my life for the past 3 years and all then it wasn't anymore. Like that. And then there was summer and I saw stephanie a few times. I went to Lancaster for the first time, that was amazing-- except for the boring meetings. I went to Cape May for the last time, as a camper. This past year i left a lot behind. Everything is new, and unfamiliar. i'm the oldest child in my family so I get to experience everything first. Then, there was highschool. I met so many amazing people, and found friendships in people who had always been there.
And I've been happy. Probably the happiest i've been in a very long time. I'm an emotional roller coasterr from day to day, and things have seemed to level off. Things are getting better, not that they've ever been so bad. And i want to live and see tomorrow and the next day. I want to make other people happy. My New Year's resolution--because i can-- is to be the better person. I also want to give up on a few things. I want to live a life free of those attachments and be able to make myself happy without it. I want to put everything I have into everything I do. I want to put my heart into swimming, into school, into my music, into my realtionships with my family, friends, ect. I want to heal for good. i want a stronger will-power.
Back to church, after i got 100% off topic. During the sermon, while i was sitting with the rest of the youth congretation on the cold, hard marble floor listening to mother suisy preach, I decided I'm going to get confirmed. For a while I've not wanted to because the whole religion thing isn't my deal. But I was talking with Kirsten, she just got confirmed, and she said she's so happy she did. Even if i don't get confirmed, i'm still going to go to church because i love the people there and they love me. It's been my theory that religion is something people create to make themselves feel a little less terrible about the world. Aside from that, other religions interest me. So we will see about that one.
Today was Christmas, my mom gave me off from the papers which was very nice of her. When I woke up, to my sister yelling at something, we opened our stockings while my dad was out getting Pop Pop. I got a lot of toothpaste. yeah, haha. Then we opened presents. I got some good stuff-- big, clear speakers, leather headphones, a shoe tree, 5 liz claiborne perfumes-- luck you, curve, curve crush, and realities; a curling iron, brush set, ect. Pretty cool. After we ate breakfast and they made a fuss about me not wanting to eat my ham, we wen tto the movies. We saw the Aviator. It was good, really interesting about Howard Hughes, but it was long as anything. If your looking for an afternoon occupier I'd suggest seeing it. After that we came home and ate Chinese food. Gollly gee, i hope it snows.
A girl could starve on a boy like you.
Hahaaa i had to put this in here;;
SH0WMEll0VE (8:41:23 PM): yo i hope so. there's some booty on the swim team i'd like to tap
BETitHURTSsoBADx (8:41:35 PM): HAHA
BETitHURTSsoBADx (8:41:58 PM): you know my mom's over my shoulder
SH0WMEll0VE (8:42:01 PM): i dont think anyone in particular yet
SH0WMEll0VE (8:42:04 PM): OH hi mommy
BETitHURTSsoBADx (8:42:11 PM): and she'd like to know whos booty you'd like to tap on the swim team
And I've been happy. Probably the happiest i've been in a very long time. I'm an emotional roller coasterr from day to day, and things have seemed to level off. Things are getting better, not that they've ever been so bad. And i want to live and see tomorrow and the next day. I want to make other people happy. My New Year's resolution--because i can-- is to be the better person. I also want to give up on a few things. I want to live a life free of those attachments and be able to make myself happy without it. I want to put everything I have into everything I do. I want to put my heart into swimming, into school, into my music, into my realtionships with my family, friends, ect. I want to heal for good. i want a stronger will-power.
Back to church, after i got 100% off topic. During the sermon, while i was sitting with the rest of the youth congretation on the cold, hard marble floor listening to mother suisy preach, I decided I'm going to get confirmed. For a while I've not wanted to because the whole religion thing isn't my deal. But I was talking with Kirsten, she just got confirmed, and she said she's so happy she did. Even if i don't get confirmed, i'm still going to go to church because i love the people there and they love me. It's been my theory that religion is something people create to make themselves feel a little less terrible about the world. Aside from that, other religions interest me. So we will see about that one.
Today was Christmas, my mom gave me off from the papers which was very nice of her. When I woke up, to my sister yelling at something, we opened our stockings while my dad was out getting Pop Pop. I got a lot of toothpaste. yeah, haha. Then we opened presents. I got some good stuff-- big, clear speakers, leather headphones, a shoe tree, 5 liz claiborne perfumes-- luck you, curve, curve crush, and realities; a curling iron, brush set, ect. Pretty cool. After we ate breakfast and they made a fuss about me not wanting to eat my ham, we wen tto the movies. We saw the Aviator. It was good, really interesting about Howard Hughes, but it was long as anything. If your looking for an afternoon occupier I'd suggest seeing it. After that we came home and ate Chinese food. Gollly gee, i hope it snows.
A girl could starve on a boy like you.
Hahaaa i had to put this in here;;
SH0WMEll0VE (8:41:23 PM): yo i hope so. there's some booty on the swim team i'd like to tap
BETitHURTSsoBADx (8:41:35 PM): HAHA
BETitHURTSsoBADx (8:41:58 PM): you know my mom's over my shoulder
SH0WMEll0VE (8:42:01 PM): i dont think anyone in particular yet
SH0WMEll0VE (8:42:04 PM): OH hi mommy
BETitHURTSsoBADx (8:42:11 PM): and she'd like to know whos booty you'd like to tap on the swim team