Shit Hit The Fan My Friends.....
Holy shit is all I have to say. I can't even tell you the drama that has happened over the past couple of days, but let me just say that it has involved me crying in my mom's lap, getting more pissed and feeling more hurt than I have in a very long time, waking Jen up at 3am hysterical crying, and almost wanting to just say screw it all. But no, I'm not going to say that. So.... wow I don't know where to begin to even try and explain. First of all, things were trying to be okay because I just wasn't going to let myself stress over my "sister". I was tired of getting worked up about it and tired of nothing changing no matter how hard I tried. So, I was just going to work towards not getting so upset about it all. Well, then I come home two nights ago to this from Amanda:
PrttyGrlM04 [11:44 PM]: if you get a chance, read my away message, and just so you know, since you hate me anyways, I think the way you're treating Melissa is bull shit and completely selfish... you know... you did it to me, and I dealt with it, and she will too, but that doesn't make it right
Auto response from VenusMyst [11:44 PM]: Yeah, I'm not here. If I was, this away msg wouldn't be.
VenusMyst [1:52 AM]: i have never, ever, hated you, i have missed the friendship that we had, every day, we were best friends, i miss that
PrttyGrlM04 is away at 1:52 AM
Auto response from PrttyGrlM04 [1:52 AM]: You know, I was always told that I would learn who my true friends are when I got to college, but I blew it off because I thought I knew. See.. in High School, I dealt with the drama and bull shit with the hope that when we all graduated, we would all grow up a little and realize that stupid shit wasn't worth the loss of friends. But then I got to college, and I've stayed friends with most of my HS crew, some better than others, but its different. I thought I'd stay friends with all of my HS friends forever, and most of them I will, but it really sucks when one day you find out that one of these "good friends" who at one point was your "twin" hates you and thinks that you're manipulating a mutual friend and turning her into you (which aparently is the worst thing in the world).... when that happens, you realize that everyone was right. Oh well.
VenusMyst [1:53 AM]: and also, i am not treating melissa like bs, my parents and i are doing the best we can to make her feel welcomed and cared for, and i want nothing more than to remain her friend
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So yeah, that had me pretty upset, and you can see my response as well. So this had me all worked up again. I was dealing with it the next day and then I came home from work to this:
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PrttyGrlM04 [10:29 AM]: I wasn't talking about anything having to do with letting her live at your house... that is very nice of your parents... I'm talking about how you're acting about Alan. You can have your opinions about him as much as you want, just like you do about Brad, but it really isn't any of your business, and you need to leave her alone about it. She's happy, and that should be all that matters. You did the EXACT same thing to me when Brad and I had been dating for about 3 months, and because of it, I almost lost the best thing that ever happend to me. It just bothers me that for some reason you feel that its your place to tell her that she "needs to break up with him in college". She's a big girl, so let her make her own decisions. You, and the rest of us, are supposed to be her best friends. If we can't support when she's happy, how can we support her when she's not?
Auto response from VenusMyst [10:29 AM]: I can't believe that some of my friends think that i hate them. I have never, ever hated anyone in my life, especially someone i was once best friends with. Sure, we grow, and have our differences, but that has never, ever, caused me to hate someone. I care about all the people in my life, whether past or present and never wish anything but good, and happiness upon them. I love them and cherish them. I am trying my best to care for and support the people in my life, especially my closest friends.
PrttyGrlM04 [10:34 AM]: And as far as feeling hated. How the hell else do you expect me to feel when I can't be in the same room with without feeling tension, and then when you go off bitching that "Mellissa is turning into me...'ditching all of her friends for a boyfriend'"??? that hurts, Chels.
PrttyGrlM04 [10:34 AM]: You can say all you want about me... but I NEVER ditched y'all for Brad. When we stopped hanging out Junior year, it was because all y'all ever wanted to do was walk the strip and look for guys. I've never thought that was smart or safe, so I never wanted to go. I had never been interested in picking up random guys, so why the hell would I be interested when I had one that I loved more than anything? and everytime I tried to make plans with y'all, nobody ever called me back. I'd say in class on friday "call me this weekend, let's hang out" and no one would call, so Saturday I'd call one of you and y'all would have already made plans without me.
PrttyGrlM04 [10:36 AM]: so yeah.... after all of that, when I thought that we had been able to be friends again, and now I find out that you're talking about me and somehow blaming Melissa's happiness (which you're obviously jealous of) on me, it makes me feel hated. Don't even try to say you never said that, because I believe it, and it hurt, but I don't care anymore... do what you want with your life and your friends, I just ask that you let Mel live her life and stay out of her decisions...its her life, NOT yours
PrttyGrlM04 is away at 11:24 AM
VenusMyst [11:31 AM]: If you're not going to be a "big girl" yourself and discuss this in more mature manner then heres my reply: first of all, you need to get your facts straight before you go off on someone like this. I never once told her that she needs to break up with Alan in college. In the letter I wrote her I said that I was glad God put him in her life over the past few months. Secondly, she's my friend and therefore it IS my business. Of course I'll have my opinions, as does everyone, but I would never, and have never
Auto response from PrttyGrlM04 [11:31 AM]: I'm fat and white... so I'm gonna tan and work out.. be back later :)
VenusMyst [11:35 AM]: tried to break them up and I never once tried to break up your relationship with Brad, nor have I tried to make anyone's decisions for them. I am happy for you and Brad and happy about the engagement, why wouldn't I be? I have done nothing BUT support Melissa through the hell she's dealt with lately. How DARE you say that I haven't. As far as the tension between us, how can you say that it's all due to me? That is completely unfair and you know it as well as I do. As far as saying that Melissa is turning
VenusMyst [11:40 AM]: into you, yes I said that and no I don't regret it. And if you truely believe that you never ditched us for Brad than congratulations on convincing yourself of that. You did Amanda, whether you want to admit it or not. But none of us, especially me, has EVER hated you for it. You were, and are, in love, and that's a great thing. I'm not trying to be a bitch, but obviously you have no reguard for any remnents of our friendship so I'm telling you how I feel as well. I really don't know where all of this has
VenusMyst [11:48 AM]: come from but obviously it needs to be resolved. In reference to walking the strip and "picking up random guys" that is NOT all we ever did, sure we'd go out a few times, but that is an extreme exageration to say thats all we ever wanted to do. And I can promise you that we NEVER left you uninvited if you called one of us. Personally, I don't recall you ever calling me on the weekend and asking what we were all doing, but if you did call me, or someone else and we did have plans, we invited you. We would
VenusMyst [11:48 AM]: have never been like "oh, sorry Amanda, you can't come with us". Lastly, I can't believe that you would say that I am jealous of Melissa's happiness, or yours for that matter. That is truly low Amanda. And how can I "blame" anyone's happiness on another person? And what would the point of that be? For your information, I have not been talking about you, all I said was that Melissa was turning into you and that I wasn't going to room with both of you guys next year. That's all I have said in reference to you at all. Believe what you want to believe
VenusMyst [11:55 AM]: it is obviously futile for me to even care anymore. But how dare you say that I am treating Melissa like shit, or that I am being selfish. How dare you say that to me. I have been nothing but here for her and trying to make things easier for her through all of this. You haven't been here and known everything that has gone on or been said, so I think that you shouldn't make assumptions based on what you think you know. I am not trying to conduct Mel's life for her, if anything I am here for her reguardless
PrttyGrlM04 signed off at 12:03 PM
PrttyGrlM04 is away at 12:04 PM
PrttyGrlM04 signed off at 12:09 PM
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Holy shit right? "Where did all this come from?" is all I could think when I read that. I probably shouldn't have posted all that for the world to see, but you know what, I'm not ashamed of what I replied back to her, nor do I think I was out of line. Anyway, I don't think I can explain it any further than what you just read. So whatever, I'm done. I'm just going to go with the flow and see where things go from here. It's not worth it to me to let this take over my life every day anymore, and it's not worth me feeling completely helpless over and like I'm being attacked, which is all I've felt the past few days and I honestly don't know what I have done to deserve this. I don't expect you to understand, no one does, except Jennifer, I don't know what I would do without her. I love you sweetheart. And for the record: I don't hate anyone, I'm not holding grudges against anyone for any reason, and I am not trying to dictate anyone's life.
PrttyGrlM04 [11:44 PM]: if you get a chance, read my away message, and just so you know, since you hate me anyways, I think the way you're treating Melissa is bull shit and completely selfish... you know... you did it to me, and I dealt with it, and she will too, but that doesn't make it right
Auto response from VenusMyst [11:44 PM]: Yeah, I'm not here. If I was, this away msg wouldn't be.
VenusMyst [1:52 AM]: i have never, ever, hated you, i have missed the friendship that we had, every day, we were best friends, i miss that
PrttyGrlM04 is away at 1:52 AM
Auto response from PrttyGrlM04 [1:52 AM]: You know, I was always told that I would learn who my true friends are when I got to college, but I blew it off because I thought I knew. See.. in High School, I dealt with the drama and bull shit with the hope that when we all graduated, we would all grow up a little and realize that stupid shit wasn't worth the loss of friends. But then I got to college, and I've stayed friends with most of my HS crew, some better than others, but its different. I thought I'd stay friends with all of my HS friends forever, and most of them I will, but it really sucks when one day you find out that one of these "good friends" who at one point was your "twin" hates you and thinks that you're manipulating a mutual friend and turning her into you (which aparently is the worst thing in the world).... when that happens, you realize that everyone was right. Oh well.
VenusMyst [1:53 AM]: and also, i am not treating melissa like bs, my parents and i are doing the best we can to make her feel welcomed and cared for, and i want nothing more than to remain her friend
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So yeah, that had me pretty upset, and you can see my response as well. So this had me all worked up again. I was dealing with it the next day and then I came home from work to this:
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PrttyGrlM04 [10:29 AM]: I wasn't talking about anything having to do with letting her live at your house... that is very nice of your parents... I'm talking about how you're acting about Alan. You can have your opinions about him as much as you want, just like you do about Brad, but it really isn't any of your business, and you need to leave her alone about it. She's happy, and that should be all that matters. You did the EXACT same thing to me when Brad and I had been dating for about 3 months, and because of it, I almost lost the best thing that ever happend to me. It just bothers me that for some reason you feel that its your place to tell her that she "needs to break up with him in college". She's a big girl, so let her make her own decisions. You, and the rest of us, are supposed to be her best friends. If we can't support when she's happy, how can we support her when she's not?
Auto response from VenusMyst [10:29 AM]: I can't believe that some of my friends think that i hate them. I have never, ever hated anyone in my life, especially someone i was once best friends with. Sure, we grow, and have our differences, but that has never, ever, caused me to hate someone. I care about all the people in my life, whether past or present and never wish anything but good, and happiness upon them. I love them and cherish them. I am trying my best to care for and support the people in my life, especially my closest friends.
PrttyGrlM04 [10:34 AM]: And as far as feeling hated. How the hell else do you expect me to feel when I can't be in the same room with without feeling tension, and then when you go off bitching that "Mellissa is turning into me...'ditching all of her friends for a boyfriend'"??? that hurts, Chels.
PrttyGrlM04 [10:34 AM]: You can say all you want about me... but I NEVER ditched y'all for Brad. When we stopped hanging out Junior year, it was because all y'all ever wanted to do was walk the strip and look for guys. I've never thought that was smart or safe, so I never wanted to go. I had never been interested in picking up random guys, so why the hell would I be interested when I had one that I loved more than anything? and everytime I tried to make plans with y'all, nobody ever called me back. I'd say in class on friday "call me this weekend, let's hang out" and no one would call, so Saturday I'd call one of you and y'all would have already made plans without me.
PrttyGrlM04 [10:36 AM]: so yeah.... after all of that, when I thought that we had been able to be friends again, and now I find out that you're talking about me and somehow blaming Melissa's happiness (which you're obviously jealous of) on me, it makes me feel hated. Don't even try to say you never said that, because I believe it, and it hurt, but I don't care anymore... do what you want with your life and your friends, I just ask that you let Mel live her life and stay out of her decisions...its her life, NOT yours
PrttyGrlM04 is away at 11:24 AM
VenusMyst [11:31 AM]: If you're not going to be a "big girl" yourself and discuss this in more mature manner then heres my reply: first of all, you need to get your facts straight before you go off on someone like this. I never once told her that she needs to break up with Alan in college. In the letter I wrote her I said that I was glad God put him in her life over the past few months. Secondly, she's my friend and therefore it IS my business. Of course I'll have my opinions, as does everyone, but I would never, and have never
Auto response from PrttyGrlM04 [11:31 AM]: I'm fat and white... so I'm gonna tan and work out.. be back later :)
VenusMyst [11:35 AM]: tried to break them up and I never once tried to break up your relationship with Brad, nor have I tried to make anyone's decisions for them. I am happy for you and Brad and happy about the engagement, why wouldn't I be? I have done nothing BUT support Melissa through the hell she's dealt with lately. How DARE you say that I haven't. As far as the tension between us, how can you say that it's all due to me? That is completely unfair and you know it as well as I do. As far as saying that Melissa is turning
VenusMyst [11:40 AM]: into you, yes I said that and no I don't regret it. And if you truely believe that you never ditched us for Brad than congratulations on convincing yourself of that. You did Amanda, whether you want to admit it or not. But none of us, especially me, has EVER hated you for it. You were, and are, in love, and that's a great thing. I'm not trying to be a bitch, but obviously you have no reguard for any remnents of our friendship so I'm telling you how I feel as well. I really don't know where all of this has
VenusMyst [11:48 AM]: come from but obviously it needs to be resolved. In reference to walking the strip and "picking up random guys" that is NOT all we ever did, sure we'd go out a few times, but that is an extreme exageration to say thats all we ever wanted to do. And I can promise you that we NEVER left you uninvited if you called one of us. Personally, I don't recall you ever calling me on the weekend and asking what we were all doing, but if you did call me, or someone else and we did have plans, we invited you. We would
VenusMyst [11:48 AM]: have never been like "oh, sorry Amanda, you can't come with us". Lastly, I can't believe that you would say that I am jealous of Melissa's happiness, or yours for that matter. That is truly low Amanda. And how can I "blame" anyone's happiness on another person? And what would the point of that be? For your information, I have not been talking about you, all I said was that Melissa was turning into you and that I wasn't going to room with both of you guys next year. That's all I have said in reference to you at all. Believe what you want to believe
VenusMyst [11:55 AM]: it is obviously futile for me to even care anymore. But how dare you say that I am treating Melissa like shit, or that I am being selfish. How dare you say that to me. I have been nothing but here for her and trying to make things easier for her through all of this. You haven't been here and known everything that has gone on or been said, so I think that you shouldn't make assumptions based on what you think you know. I am not trying to conduct Mel's life for her, if anything I am here for her reguardless
PrttyGrlM04 signed off at 12:03 PM
PrttyGrlM04 is away at 12:04 PM
PrttyGrlM04 signed off at 12:09 PM
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Holy shit right? "Where did all this come from?" is all I could think when I read that. I probably shouldn't have posted all that for the world to see, but you know what, I'm not ashamed of what I replied back to her, nor do I think I was out of line. Anyway, I don't think I can explain it any further than what you just read. So whatever, I'm done. I'm just going to go with the flow and see where things go from here. It's not worth it to me to let this take over my life every day anymore, and it's not worth me feeling completely helpless over and like I'm being attacked, which is all I've felt the past few days and I honestly don't know what I have done to deserve this. I don't expect you to understand, no one does, except Jennifer, I don't know what I would do without her. I love you sweetheart. And for the record: I don't hate anyone, I'm not holding grudges against anyone for any reason, and I am not trying to dictate anyone's life.