how...?

[ifthefiresthere]

how could i like someone who is in love with someone else? ...oh, i know. they never told me until i really began to like them. there is this sinking feeling in my chest and its not going away. it hurts to breathe. i dont want to think. why am i feeling all this pain when i really dont care? it just hurts because i feel like a fool. i was so foolish to think that someone like him would ever go for someone like me. i am just another girl...i dont matter. i love how he called me babes all the time and then today to find out he calls her the same...it disgusts me. i am sick to my stomach, i dont feel like eating. i feel so...helpless.

anyways on the upside.

tonight:

hung out with ashley and jessica, watched assault on precinct 13, went to carls house to party it up and now i am back at ashleys and i am ready to sleep.

tomorrow:

work from 11:30-7, then probably back to carls for another party.

sunday:

work from 12-8, then SLEEP ...i am going to need it.

life repeats itself.

how can we help ourselves? stuck in our own private hells.

i want to sleep, sleep forever and a day.
i will take these pills to end my pain and give me what i need.
a chance to dream a dream of a life i will never have.
i will sleep forever thinking that i am alive.
waking up is not an option, i will be gone forever.

...not suicidal, just emo.

hope everyone is having fun in life...i need more fun in my life.

i need a prom date still...this sucks.