Happy birthday, Sisofdream!
(Sorry, posting and dashing -- hopefully the typos are not too egregious, but I wanted to make sure you'd get this TODAY. Will come back to edit in t-shirt links and edit out weirdness after work! ETA: done!)
Title: (maybe if this t-shirt is witty enough someone will finally love me)
Fandom: Star Trek (2009)
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Notes: For sisterofdream, off one of her many mad/genius/mad genius ideas. Funnily enough, the original t-shirt appears not to exist. *shrug* In any case, happy birthday, hope it fits!
Summary: McCoy is a master of silent communication. When he's out of uniform, anyway.
You read my t-shirt. That's enough social interaction for one day.
"Out, Jim."
"Come on. She's amazing, really smart and built like a --"
"Out!" Bones raised his head to glare.
"--med student." Jim smirked.
Bones rolled his eyes and turned back to his PADD without the slightest hint of a smile. "Lovely. Now go away."
He sighed and did. Sometimes, there was no arguing him around.
Stand Back I'm going to try SCIENCE
Jim couldn't imagine Dr. G gossiping about hir students -- at least, not where other students might overhear. He had sworn his labmates to silence, and he'd wrangled a promise from Bones not to say anything when he'd caught sight of Jim before he could change clothes. The whole thing was embarrassing enough to live through once; Jim really hadn't wanted to deal with the inevitable jokes.
And yet.
"You're the one who blew up the lab yesterday." JohnDoe's eyes crinkled at the corners, a sign of amusement common to both their species. "I should have guessed."
Jim scowled. That was the fifth person to guess since breakfast. "Do I have it written on my forehead or something?"
"Something," he affirmed and walked away.
He turned to Bones. "How --?"
"Search me," Bones replied with an annoying little smile, crossing his arms over his chest.
This Music Sucks
Dragging Bones out of the barracks and to a club was the sort of triumph that made Jim feel confident he could do anything. So when he saw the lovely Uhura at the bar, he made a beeline to her; Bones, hands sunk in the pockets of his jeans, trailed after him. Maybe today was the day his win-Uhura-over campaign would finally pay off. He was going to overcome her first impression of him, and then she was going to notice his myriad charms.
He'd teased her out of her knot of friends and onto the floor for a dance, an opening presented when one of her friends had started complaining about the music -- and Uhura jumped to its defense. "But the artificiality is an intentional--"
"And it's ideal for dancing. What do you say?" He'd interrupted and dared her with a look and an extended hand.
"Ok, yes." After the briefest glance at her friend, she'd taken his hand and pulled him out on the floor. She let him twirl her around into a closed position, his hands settling into carefully appropriate locations. She leaned in to shout into his ear, "How'd you get McCoy to come with you?"
Jim shot her a grin. "Maybe he got me to come with him."
She glanced back at Bones and snorted. "I doubt it. But it looks like he's having fun."
Jim turned them until he could see the bar, too, and saw Bones leaning in close with the pretty girl Uhura had been arguing with. Good for him. "Yeah, looks like."
"Don't worry, she doesn't bite. Usually." Uhura's own smile had teeth.
Jim frowned at her. He wasn't worried -- Bones was a grown man whom Jim often said should get out more. But he was thirsty, so when the song ended, he brought Uhura back with him to the bar -- where it was so busy that they ended up standing between Bones and Uhura's friend. Jim mouthed an apology; Bones just shrugged and ordered another beer.
When I play doctor, I play to win
The room was fuzzy around the edges, full of soft beeps and clicks and an odd wheeze, and it tended to blur when he moved his head too much. It was also vaguely familiar; he was pretty sure he'd woken up here before. Some of the walls were actually curtains. Hospital.
He rolled his head slowly, slowly to the side and located the source of the wheeze. Bones slumped in a chair not-quite-snoring. Jim half-smiled. Bones had stayed with him. Ridiculous -- he was presumably in good hands -- but nice. While he watched, Bones snort-gasped himself awake. He startled upright, and his eyes went immediately to the read-out above the bed. He frowned, eyes tracking back and forth, before he finally glanced down to see Jim watching him. The line between his eyebrows immediately smoothed out.
"You're awake," he said, and actually sounded annoyed as he added, "You should have said something."
Jim opened his mouth, and Bones immediately pressed a shushing finger against it. "I'm kidding. Go back to sleep." Jim glared at him. He sighed. "Yes, you're in the hospital; you were brought in yesterday. You'll be fine; it just took some time to figure out what was wrong, and the long explanation can wait until morning when your physician of record gets here." Jim wondered whether the phrasing meant Bones had stepped in as unofficial physician but Bones's finger was really heavy, like an immovable force. Unstoppable object. Something. "Now, go back to sleep, or I'll get a nurse to put you to sleep." Jim waggled his eyebrows, and Bones shook his head with his patented not-amused-and-not-encouraging-you look. "With a hypno."
Jim obediently closed his eyes. Bones' finger left his lips, and just as he was drifting between sleeping and awake, he thought he felt Bones brushing his hair back off his forehead. "Don't scare me like that again."
unrequited love is for chumps
Bones abruptly changed directions, swerving towards the library -- or more accurately, swerving away from Jim. He sighed. This was beyond ridiculous, he was tired of waiting for Bones to come around and talk to him, and it was going to end today. One way or the other. He didn't change his course immediately, instead continuing to drift towards the mess hall while keeping an eye on McCoy's retreating back. Bone's shoulders relaxed as he entered the library, apparently convinced Jim wasn't in pursuit. Jim smiled and switched direction.
Jim found him on the third floor he tried. He was seated at an old-fashioned carrel that was wired for a number of obsolescent and forgotten data devices and holding an old-fashioned, though romanticized data device -- a paper book. He was sufficiently absorbed in it that Jim's approach went unnoticed until he spoke.
"You're avoiding me."
Bones startled, but tried to disguise it by turning a page. "I am not."
"You are."
"You know, the galaxy does not actually revolve around you."
"Yeah, I know, because if it did, you wouldn't be avoiding me just because we had sex!"
The book thumped against the desk as Bones lunged up to clamp a hand over Jim's mouth. His eyes swept over the aisles behind Jim, then closed in something like relief. "Do not get me kicked out of the goddamn library," he said which was a lot more words than Jim had gotten out of him in the past two weeks.
Jim wrapped a hand around Bones's wrist, intending to yank it away, but... it didn't happen. Close up, Bones didn't look embarrassed, he looked awful -- tired, worn-down. Maybe he really had been busy. Jim held on and waited.
"Okay," Bones said, repeating it as he opened his eyes. "You're right; we should talk about it." His hand slipped off Jim's mouth, and Jim half-wanted to take it back -- not talking about it was fine, was better than the coming conversation that was already putting that miserable look in Bones's eyes. Sorry, kid, but you know I don't --
Bones didn't shake off his hand, and Jim wasn't quite so pathetically far gone as to be grateful for that, though he didn't let go either until Bones had led him onto the lift. Bones selected the ground floor, and Jim considered all the places they might go for this conversation and how he'd probably never want to visit where ever they ended up again. Jim let go of Bones's wrist to open the control panel; he punched in an override (they used the same code for the entire campus, and it'd taken him maybe a week to figure it out), and the lift stopped. He didn't spend much time at the library anyway.
Bones crossed his arms defensively and leaned against the wall, looking anywhere but at Jim. Ok, ball in his court. He could do this.
"If you want to forget it." Bones snorted, shifting his gaze to a different patch of floor. Jim soldiered on. "If you want to forget it, we can."
There was a bitter twist to Bones's mouth. "Just forget it, that easy, huh?"
He swallowed down his immediate answer. It wouldn't be fucking easy, but it'd be worth it to get Bones to look at him again. "If that's what you want."
"What I--" Bones glanced at him and away, crossing his arms a bit tighter. "What do you want?"
"I want my best friend back."
Bones unhunched, slightly. "Yeah?"
"Of course. Bones, I missed you. I mean, yeah, the sex was good--" he recognized the amused-sarcastic look and he'd missed that, too, but hurried to correct himself before Bones knocked him off on a tangent "-- fine, it was great, fantastic, but it's not worth it if you can't even look at me, and -- Wait, what does your shirt say?" Jim interrupted himself, Bones's arms had dropped to his sides leaving the writing unobstructed. "Bones?"
Bones's lips quirked. "I'm starting to think it's inaccurate."
"Thank fuck," Jim breathed and pushed him back against the wall, kissing him soundly.
Your Boyfriend Wants Me
"You were a fucking doctor before you joined Star Fleet. How do you not own any decent civvies?" Jim groused while digging through Bones' closet. Uniforms, jeans, t-shirts. Tons of t-shirts.
He shrugged. "Tossed them. Didn't figure I'd be needing a suit anymore, and I always hated wearing a tie."
Jim deflated. They were not going out in uniform -- he did take the whole behavior-befitting thing seriously, and the last thing he wanted to do on a date with Bones was behave -- but if Bones didn't have anything nicer to wear, Jim was going to have to come up with somewhere without a dress code to take him. He cast a critical eye over Bones' current outfit. The jeans were all right, but... "Fine, but you are not wearing that."
"Come on. It's funny. And apt."
"Exactly how many people do you think think that I'm their boyfriend?" Jim asked, hovering between flattered and affronted. He turned back to the closet. There must be something. Bones stepped up behind him and wrapped his arms around Jim's waist.
"Well, 'Your Hook-up Thinks I'm Hot' didn't come in my size, and I didn't like the spacing on 'Your Occasional Friendly Lay is Interested in Me.'" He felt Bones' shrug in the shift of his arms, and then Bones's lips against his neck. "Ask me how many I care about."
"How many?" Jim asked obligingly, tipping his head to the side. Bones's mouth traced a warm line down towards his shoulder, nuzzling under his collar.
"None," Bones replied between kisses. "Long as you come back to me."
"Always," he replied easily.
"Solved," Bones said, grinning against his skin.
"Wait, you really don't care that I'm-- ow!"
Bones licked at the spot he'd just bitten. "Careful what you say about my boyfriend."
"A friendly guy," Jim finished. He elbowed Dracula lightly. "I'm being serious, here."
Bones sighed and straightened. "No, I don't mind. In fact, it's kind of..."
Jim turned in the circle of Bones' arms and caught the smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. "Amusing?"
"Hot."
Jim grinned and kissed him, hot and hard, biting Bones's lower lip as he pulled away -- and dragged the shirt off. "Hot is good. I still veto the shirt."
In answer, he got a grin and then he got pinned to the bed. He could work with that.
****
For the curious, here are the cottony inspirations behind this fic:
maybe if this t-shirt is witty enough someone will finally love me
You read my t-shirt. That's enough social interaction for one day.
Stand Back I'm going to try SCIENCE
Oddly enough, the judgmental t-shirt that sprouted this entire story -- This Music Sucks -- does not appear to exist in the twenty-first century.
When I play doctor, I play to win
unrequited love is for chumps
Your Boyfriend Wants Me (This is the only link to a store that I've never personally ordered from. Once upon a time, a similar shirt was available from a hideous mall chain store, but it's since been discontinued making this the closest I could find.)
The Dreamwidth version of this entry currently has
comments.
Title: (maybe if this t-shirt is witty enough someone will finally love me)
Fandom: Star Trek (2009)
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Notes: For sisterofdream, off one of her many mad/genius/mad genius ideas. Funnily enough, the original t-shirt appears not to exist. *shrug* In any case, happy birthday, hope it fits!
Summary: McCoy is a master of silent communication. When he's out of uniform, anyway.
You read my t-shirt. That's enough social interaction for one day.
"Out, Jim."
"Come on. She's amazing, really smart and built like a --"
"Out!" Bones raised his head to glare.
"--med student." Jim smirked.
Bones rolled his eyes and turned back to his PADD without the slightest hint of a smile. "Lovely. Now go away."
He sighed and did. Sometimes, there was no arguing him around.
Stand Back I'm going to try SCIENCE
Jim couldn't imagine Dr. G gossiping about hir students -- at least, not where other students might overhear. He had sworn his labmates to silence, and he'd wrangled a promise from Bones not to say anything when he'd caught sight of Jim before he could change clothes. The whole thing was embarrassing enough to live through once; Jim really hadn't wanted to deal with the inevitable jokes.
And yet.
"You're the one who blew up the lab yesterday." JohnDoe's eyes crinkled at the corners, a sign of amusement common to both their species. "I should have guessed."
Jim scowled. That was the fifth person to guess since breakfast. "Do I have it written on my forehead or something?"
"Something," he affirmed and walked away.
He turned to Bones. "How --?"
"Search me," Bones replied with an annoying little smile, crossing his arms over his chest.
This Music Sucks
Dragging Bones out of the barracks and to a club was the sort of triumph that made Jim feel confident he could do anything. So when he saw the lovely Uhura at the bar, he made a beeline to her; Bones, hands sunk in the pockets of his jeans, trailed after him. Maybe today was the day his win-Uhura-over campaign would finally pay off. He was going to overcome her first impression of him, and then she was going to notice his myriad charms.
He'd teased her out of her knot of friends and onto the floor for a dance, an opening presented when one of her friends had started complaining about the music -- and Uhura jumped to its defense. "But the artificiality is an intentional--"
"And it's ideal for dancing. What do you say?" He'd interrupted and dared her with a look and an extended hand.
"Ok, yes." After the briefest glance at her friend, she'd taken his hand and pulled him out on the floor. She let him twirl her around into a closed position, his hands settling into carefully appropriate locations. She leaned in to shout into his ear, "How'd you get McCoy to come with you?"
Jim shot her a grin. "Maybe he got me to come with him."
She glanced back at Bones and snorted. "I doubt it. But it looks like he's having fun."
Jim turned them until he could see the bar, too, and saw Bones leaning in close with the pretty girl Uhura had been arguing with. Good for him. "Yeah, looks like."
"Don't worry, she doesn't bite. Usually." Uhura's own smile had teeth.
Jim frowned at her. He wasn't worried -- Bones was a grown man whom Jim often said should get out more. But he was thirsty, so when the song ended, he brought Uhura back with him to the bar -- where it was so busy that they ended up standing between Bones and Uhura's friend. Jim mouthed an apology; Bones just shrugged and ordered another beer.
When I play doctor, I play to win
The room was fuzzy around the edges, full of soft beeps and clicks and an odd wheeze, and it tended to blur when he moved his head too much. It was also vaguely familiar; he was pretty sure he'd woken up here before. Some of the walls were actually curtains. Hospital.
He rolled his head slowly, slowly to the side and located the source of the wheeze. Bones slumped in a chair not-quite-snoring. Jim half-smiled. Bones had stayed with him. Ridiculous -- he was presumably in good hands -- but nice. While he watched, Bones snort-gasped himself awake. He startled upright, and his eyes went immediately to the read-out above the bed. He frowned, eyes tracking back and forth, before he finally glanced down to see Jim watching him. The line between his eyebrows immediately smoothed out.
"You're awake," he said, and actually sounded annoyed as he added, "You should have said something."
Jim opened his mouth, and Bones immediately pressed a shushing finger against it. "I'm kidding. Go back to sleep." Jim glared at him. He sighed. "Yes, you're in the hospital; you were brought in yesterday. You'll be fine; it just took some time to figure out what was wrong, and the long explanation can wait until morning when your physician of record gets here." Jim wondered whether the phrasing meant Bones had stepped in as unofficial physician but Bones's finger was really heavy, like an immovable force. Unstoppable object. Something. "Now, go back to sleep, or I'll get a nurse to put you to sleep." Jim waggled his eyebrows, and Bones shook his head with his patented not-amused-and-not-encouraging-you look. "With a hypno."
Jim obediently closed his eyes. Bones' finger left his lips, and just as he was drifting between sleeping and awake, he thought he felt Bones brushing his hair back off his forehead. "Don't scare me like that again."
unrequited love is for chumps
Bones abruptly changed directions, swerving towards the library -- or more accurately, swerving away from Jim. He sighed. This was beyond ridiculous, he was tired of waiting for Bones to come around and talk to him, and it was going to end today. One way or the other. He didn't change his course immediately, instead continuing to drift towards the mess hall while keeping an eye on McCoy's retreating back. Bone's shoulders relaxed as he entered the library, apparently convinced Jim wasn't in pursuit. Jim smiled and switched direction.
Jim found him on the third floor he tried. He was seated at an old-fashioned carrel that was wired for a number of obsolescent and forgotten data devices and holding an old-fashioned, though romanticized data device -- a paper book. He was sufficiently absorbed in it that Jim's approach went unnoticed until he spoke.
"You're avoiding me."
Bones startled, but tried to disguise it by turning a page. "I am not."
"You are."
"You know, the galaxy does not actually revolve around you."
"Yeah, I know, because if it did, you wouldn't be avoiding me just because we had sex!"
The book thumped against the desk as Bones lunged up to clamp a hand over Jim's mouth. His eyes swept over the aisles behind Jim, then closed in something like relief. "Do not get me kicked out of the goddamn library," he said which was a lot more words than Jim had gotten out of him in the past two weeks.
Jim wrapped a hand around Bones's wrist, intending to yank it away, but... it didn't happen. Close up, Bones didn't look embarrassed, he looked awful -- tired, worn-down. Maybe he really had been busy. Jim held on and waited.
"Okay," Bones said, repeating it as he opened his eyes. "You're right; we should talk about it." His hand slipped off Jim's mouth, and Jim half-wanted to take it back -- not talking about it was fine, was better than the coming conversation that was already putting that miserable look in Bones's eyes. Sorry, kid, but you know I don't --
Bones didn't shake off his hand, and Jim wasn't quite so pathetically far gone as to be grateful for that, though he didn't let go either until Bones had led him onto the lift. Bones selected the ground floor, and Jim considered all the places they might go for this conversation and how he'd probably never want to visit where ever they ended up again. Jim let go of Bones's wrist to open the control panel; he punched in an override (they used the same code for the entire campus, and it'd taken him maybe a week to figure it out), and the lift stopped. He didn't spend much time at the library anyway.
Bones crossed his arms defensively and leaned against the wall, looking anywhere but at Jim. Ok, ball in his court. He could do this.
"If you want to forget it." Bones snorted, shifting his gaze to a different patch of floor. Jim soldiered on. "If you want to forget it, we can."
There was a bitter twist to Bones's mouth. "Just forget it, that easy, huh?"
He swallowed down his immediate answer. It wouldn't be fucking easy, but it'd be worth it to get Bones to look at him again. "If that's what you want."
"What I--" Bones glanced at him and away, crossing his arms a bit tighter. "What do you want?"
"I want my best friend back."
Bones unhunched, slightly. "Yeah?"
"Of course. Bones, I missed you. I mean, yeah, the sex was good--" he recognized the amused-sarcastic look and he'd missed that, too, but hurried to correct himself before Bones knocked him off on a tangent "-- fine, it was great, fantastic, but it's not worth it if you can't even look at me, and -- Wait, what does your shirt say?" Jim interrupted himself, Bones's arms had dropped to his sides leaving the writing unobstructed. "Bones?"
Bones's lips quirked. "I'm starting to think it's inaccurate."
"Thank fuck," Jim breathed and pushed him back against the wall, kissing him soundly.
Your Boyfriend Wants Me
"You were a fucking doctor before you joined Star Fleet. How do you not own any decent civvies?" Jim groused while digging through Bones' closet. Uniforms, jeans, t-shirts. Tons of t-shirts.
He shrugged. "Tossed them. Didn't figure I'd be needing a suit anymore, and I always hated wearing a tie."
Jim deflated. They were not going out in uniform -- he did take the whole behavior-befitting thing seriously, and the last thing he wanted to do on a date with Bones was behave -- but if Bones didn't have anything nicer to wear, Jim was going to have to come up with somewhere without a dress code to take him. He cast a critical eye over Bones' current outfit. The jeans were all right, but... "Fine, but you are not wearing that."
"Come on. It's funny. And apt."
"Exactly how many people do you think think that I'm their boyfriend?" Jim asked, hovering between flattered and affronted. He turned back to the closet. There must be something. Bones stepped up behind him and wrapped his arms around Jim's waist.
"Well, 'Your Hook-up Thinks I'm Hot' didn't come in my size, and I didn't like the spacing on 'Your Occasional Friendly Lay is Interested in Me.'" He felt Bones' shrug in the shift of his arms, and then Bones's lips against his neck. "Ask me how many I care about."
"How many?" Jim asked obligingly, tipping his head to the side. Bones's mouth traced a warm line down towards his shoulder, nuzzling under his collar.
"None," Bones replied between kisses. "Long as you come back to me."
"Always," he replied easily.
"Solved," Bones said, grinning against his skin.
"Wait, you really don't care that I'm-- ow!"
Bones licked at the spot he'd just bitten. "Careful what you say about my boyfriend."
"A friendly guy," Jim finished. He elbowed Dracula lightly. "I'm being serious, here."
Bones sighed and straightened. "No, I don't mind. In fact, it's kind of..."
Jim turned in the circle of Bones' arms and caught the smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. "Amusing?"
"Hot."
Jim grinned and kissed him, hot and hard, biting Bones's lower lip as he pulled away -- and dragged the shirt off. "Hot is good. I still veto the shirt."
In answer, he got a grin and then he got pinned to the bed. He could work with that.
****
For the curious, here are the cottony inspirations behind this fic:
maybe if this t-shirt is witty enough someone will finally love me
You read my t-shirt. That's enough social interaction for one day.
Stand Back I'm going to try SCIENCE
Oddly enough, the judgmental t-shirt that sprouted this entire story -- This Music Sucks -- does not appear to exist in the twenty-first century.
When I play doctor, I play to win
unrequited love is for chumps
Your Boyfriend Wants Me (This is the only link to a store that I've never personally ordered from. Once upon a time, a similar shirt was available from a hideous mall chain store, but it's since been discontinued making this the closest I could find.)
The Dreamwidth version of this entry currently has
comments.