(no subject)
I really wish I could understand what the hell is wrong with me. I didn't think that it was getting this bad but I thought about it today and decided that its bad when you don't know yourself anymore.
I can't explain the things I've done. Things I said I'd never do but somehow I don't regret anything. Is this okay? I'm not sure. I don't know if I should be disappointed in myself or just go on and make it seem that everything is fine.
I hate not having food, money, and a fucking washing machine. Those three things would make everyday so much easier. I hate going to bed hungry just because I want to save food for when I'm really hungry because my dad won't give us a simple check. I hate needing things but not wanting to ask my mom for the money, all because I'd feel horrible. And I hate the fact that I got iodine on my pants and want to wash them but can't because we don't have a washing machine or the money to pay to use the machines at the laundromat.
I JUST WANT TO FUCKING SCREAM.
I can't explain the things I've done. Things I said I'd never do but somehow I don't regret anything. Is this okay? I'm not sure. I don't know if I should be disappointed in myself or just go on and make it seem that everything is fine.
I hate not having food, money, and a fucking washing machine. Those three things would make everyday so much easier. I hate going to bed hungry just because I want to save food for when I'm really hungry because my dad won't give us a simple check. I hate needing things but not wanting to ask my mom for the money, all because I'd feel horrible. And I hate the fact that I got iodine on my pants and want to wash them but can't because we don't have a washing machine or the money to pay to use the machines at the laundromat.
I JUST WANT TO FUCKING SCREAM.