Cause you've got a secret smile.
It's not that i'm bored, i just don't feel motivated. All i want to do is read (a certain book). I check my email constantly. If i don't read i sleep. All i do is think about Jamie. He's in jamaica right now and he won't be back until monday. i can't stand the fact that i won't be seeing him or talking to him for a week, now it's down to 6 days. I miss him soooooooo much, beyond belief! I'm praying that he has email there. I feel like i'm battling myself, like i have no control over anything right now.
I am going through something only you understand. It's so hard to be motivated when you feel like you will read it for nothing because your mom won't support you. I know that in the end, that's how it will happen. I know that is negative, but that's just how i feel. I am having such a hard time with this right now. I want Jamie to have a good time on his vacation, because he deserves it, but I can't help but be selfish and want him here with me. The only good thing about him not being here is that i need some time to earn money for his birthday present.
HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY sweetheart!!!!
Love, *Amanda