It's a New Year
It's eight in the morning. I haven't slept. I just played basketball for two hours and now I'm making a pot of coffee. I'm not tired, and I suspect I won't be very soon. My mother just left for work and my dad is mushing up some special prescription dog food for Chewy- I can never decide whether that dog is incredibly bored or incredibly blessed. It's not that I've been itching to post on livejournal. I just feel, this morning, as if time is moving slower than it has been in a long time. In the presence of no one and distracted only by the sounds of morning, things shine clearer right now. Or maybe they just shine different, with the light touching the other side of everything. January mornings here are not like so many others. Chicago's weather is a living entity, and I believe I owe it money. But even the cold is tempered when the blood is coursing through my veins so deliberately. This is peaceful. It's not the peaceful that I feel when I'm in close proximity to someone I love dearly. That peace comes with a slight tickle of excitement. This peace is different. Something about the heavy running corrects my breathing. I can feel blood and oxygen filling my extremeties, brain stem included. I have seen far too few mornings lately.
In a sense, now that I've slowed down, I feel as if I can let the rest of the day catch up to me, instead of the other way around. I've fooled myself into believing that I will not be passed out on my bed in two hours, and that's perfectly fine. I pretend sometimes. It seems to make things easier, but withhold judgement on that statement. Pretending that something is not painful keeps a lot of money from the greedy drug companies. Often, recently, I even pretend to think someone is right, even when I know they are wrong. I don't like arguing with people, especially people I like spending time with. This is a source of frustration in the long run. Say you told me that Ryan Howard is the most valuable player in baseball. Now, off the top of my head, I know that is hogwash, but to tell you why, for some reason, I need a while to think. "Why?" The first few things that pop into my head are some combination of: "Well, because I know baseball" and "Because I have made this argument before" and "It is just obvious." But those are not answers I can give, because they will be taken the wrong way. You will reiterate your point and, in avoidance, I will let you. And later, when I think about just how much better Albert Pujols is, it will bother me. There's just something utterly annoying about imbalance. In any case, go with your gut, I suspect there is a reason you have it. But such is life, no? Coffee is done......
Irish creme. Joyness. Life. Life is wonderful. I can write a paragraph about annoyances and still be gripped by calm. Being in love with the right person will do that to you. 2008 was the year I met the love of my life, discovered she is the love of my life and promised her the rest of my life all in a matter of months. Danielle is a wonderful person and, more important, *the* wonderful person for me. There are wonderful girls left in the world, but I look at them, and I think "man, you're going to make someone else a really good wife someday" and I smile inside. But that prayer I sent to God to send me the perfect girl was definitely answered. Commitment has never been a big issue for me, but when you can turn one of such magnitude into a source of joy, it's a great feeling. The best thing is knowing that God has led me every step of the way, the amount of thought and prayer I've put into this relationship has been a testament. Judging by some reactions, it seems as if people around me were/are... disheartened might be the word... by the amount of failed relationships these days. It's a hard atmosphere to live in, so much so that one can forget that no matter how much you put into a relationship, no matter how good a parter you try to be, it's all about finding the right person. It doesn't matter your age(within reason) or your past or how much respect you get, it's all for naught if you don't find the one who is on this earth just for you and that is 100% chance... UNLESS you trust in God.
Although, in my case, I did in fact get extremely lucky. Sometimes He just does things because He loves you and he can. Yay! Sorry for killing that momentous closing sentence. No more 2008. Relive the good, remember the bad. Happy New Year everyone! And Happy Anniversary to both my parents and my future parents-in-law!
In a sense, now that I've slowed down, I feel as if I can let the rest of the day catch up to me, instead of the other way around. I've fooled myself into believing that I will not be passed out on my bed in two hours, and that's perfectly fine. I pretend sometimes. It seems to make things easier, but withhold judgement on that statement. Pretending that something is not painful keeps a lot of money from the greedy drug companies. Often, recently, I even pretend to think someone is right, even when I know they are wrong. I don't like arguing with people, especially people I like spending time with. This is a source of frustration in the long run. Say you told me that Ryan Howard is the most valuable player in baseball. Now, off the top of my head, I know that is hogwash, but to tell you why, for some reason, I need a while to think. "Why?" The first few things that pop into my head are some combination of: "Well, because I know baseball" and "Because I have made this argument before" and "It is just obvious." But those are not answers I can give, because they will be taken the wrong way. You will reiterate your point and, in avoidance, I will let you. And later, when I think about just how much better Albert Pujols is, it will bother me. There's just something utterly annoying about imbalance. In any case, go with your gut, I suspect there is a reason you have it. But such is life, no? Coffee is done......
Irish creme. Joyness. Life. Life is wonderful. I can write a paragraph about annoyances and still be gripped by calm. Being in love with the right person will do that to you. 2008 was the year I met the love of my life, discovered she is the love of my life and promised her the rest of my life all in a matter of months. Danielle is a wonderful person and, more important, *the* wonderful person for me. There are wonderful girls left in the world, but I look at them, and I think "man, you're going to make someone else a really good wife someday" and I smile inside. But that prayer I sent to God to send me the perfect girl was definitely answered. Commitment has never been a big issue for me, but when you can turn one of such magnitude into a source of joy, it's a great feeling. The best thing is knowing that God has led me every step of the way, the amount of thought and prayer I've put into this relationship has been a testament. Judging by some reactions, it seems as if people around me were/are... disheartened might be the word... by the amount of failed relationships these days. It's a hard atmosphere to live in, so much so that one can forget that no matter how much you put into a relationship, no matter how good a parter you try to be, it's all about finding the right person. It doesn't matter your age(within reason) or your past or how much respect you get, it's all for naught if you don't find the one who is on this earth just for you and that is 100% chance... UNLESS you trust in God.
Although, in my case, I did in fact get extremely lucky. Sometimes He just does things because He loves you and he can. Yay! Sorry for killing that momentous closing sentence. No more 2008. Relive the good, remember the bad. Happy New Year everyone! And Happy Anniversary to both my parents and my future parents-in-law!