(Fic:) Naruto: Stay With Me, And I’ll be Okay (ItaNaru, SasuNaru, ItaKaka)
Title: Stay With Me, And I’ll be Okay
Author: iff_u_loved_me
Genre: Naruto
Pairing: Itachi/Naruto, Sasuke/Naruto, Itachi/Kakashi
Rating: R
Warning(s): none
Disclaimer: Belongs to Masashi Kishimoto
Summary: Itachi and Naruto had a rough break up. They're trying to move on and see other people. It should be so easy. But it's not, especially since they never stopped loving each other.
Word Count: 3660
A/N: This took me a long time to write, but it was definitely worth it. I had a lot of fun - let me know what you think! Also, the parts in italics go backwards in time.
Introduction:
I’m well aware of the fact that I may be crazy. Insane. It’s all my fault, too. Why I am this way. After Naruto and I broke up, I lost my sense of time. My heart and brain know I cannot go on without him by my side. I refuse to move forwards, determined to always remember my happiest times. But even those are corrupted, tainted with regret. I’ll be strolling down the street, expression haughtily blank. I’ll be thinking, not about what businesses to invest in or what I want to do with my life, but about my time with him. When I was truly happy. I may be moving forwards on the outside, but on the inside, I’m stuck in time, bouncing back and forth, not unlike a yoyo. I go backwards, searching for answers to questions I already know.
*
“I’ve been thinking,” Itachi began.
“Uh-oh,” Naruto mock-groaned. “Haven’t I told you how dangerous you thinking can be?”
Itachi made to shove him gently but then stopped. He wrapped his arms around himself as if he was cold. His eyes were carefully devoid of emotion, which Naruto found worrisome. Itachi was stoic, but he always mellowed out around Naruto.
“Sasuke loves you, Naruto.”
“And I love you,” Naruto insisted, not liking where this was going.
“I want you to be with him.” Itachi’s voice stated that there would be no argument. But Naruto wouldn’t give Itachi up. Never.
“What? Do you not love me anymore?” Naruto staggered backwards.
“No, of course not. But Sasuke’s my brother.”
“And you’re my boyfriend! I thought you loved me!”
Itachi said quietly, “Yes, Naruto. Loved.”
“Tell me to go. Tell me you don’t love me.” This never worked in the movies, Naruto knew. But it was worth a shot.
Itachi ‘s monotone broke Naruto’s already splintering heart. “I. Don’t. Love. You. Anymore.”
And Naruto, for all his time with Itachi, still couldn’t tell if he was lying. So he did what his body would allow him to do: he ran.
*
“Itachi-kun,” Kakashi drawled. “We’re going to be late.”
Itachi blinked and squashed the temptation to rub his eyes.
“Isn’t that your specialty?” Itachi shot back, pulling on his black leather jacket and checking the pockets for his car keys. He put his sun glasses on.
“Oh, you,” Kakashi smiled at him. “You look so sexy in those shades, so dangerous. But I know the truth, inside you’re just a…” Kakashi stopped, figuring he liked his body the way it was. But he finished the sentence in his mind, you’re just a little boy whose had his heart broken. You think you’re invincible. There was a frown playing along Itachi’s lips and Kakashi kissed him gently, trying to bring his boyfriend back to the present.
“Enough,” Itachi said as he opened the car door. “Let’s go.”
“Really, though,” Kakashi started again once they were both inside. “You’re usually so anal about being on time. What gives? Do you hate Naruto or something? Trying to get back at him? Some ex-lovers' spat?” Kakashi kept his tone light but he was worried and wanted to figure out why Itachi was acting so weird.
“I don’t hate Naruto. I’m going to his art exhibit aren’t I?” Itachi reasoned as he turned on the ignition.
“I guess.” Kakashi knew better than to retaliate after Itachi’s stern tone of this-conversation-is-over.
*
“Sasuke knows.” Itachi sat down at the table with his book. He waited for the explosion. He didn’t have to wait long.
“What?! How?!” Naruto yelped, flailing his arms about. Itachi ignored his theatrics.
“He talked to Kakashi.”
“Bastard! I know he’s, like, obsessed with you- but that’s just harsh!”
“I’ve spoken with Kakashi.”
Naruto didn’t ask for details. Kakashi was probably in a lot of pain right now. But, Naruto thought viciously, that’s what he deserved for blabbing about his and Itachi’s relationship. “Why on earth did we tell Kakashi?”
Itachi refrained from rolling his eyes. “We didn’t tell him; he walked in on us.”
“Oh, yeah. So what do we do now?”
“I’ll think of something.” Itachi opened his book and his eyes began to sharpen as it quickly scanned the print.
“I love you,” Naruto said desperately.
Still immersed in his book, Itachi nodded. “I know.”
*
“You guys are late,” Naruto accused when Kakashi and Itachi finally arrived at the art gallery. He carefully avoided Itachi’s eye.
“Nii-san,” Sasuke greeted, going up to hug his older brother. He shook hands with Kakashi.
“I can’t wait to see Naruto’s painting. Isn’t this so exciting, ‘tachi?” Kakashi asked, looping his arm through Itachi’s.
“Follow us,” Sasuke instructed as he and Naruto went forward, leading the way. Itachi and Kakashi stayed a good few feet back, letting the couple have their privacy.
Itachi stared uncaringly at the floor as he ignored the sharp pain in his heart.
“Stop being so obvious,” Kakashi said lowly, cocking his head to the side and speaking into Itachi’s ear.
Sasuke and Naruto were talking quietly.
“What do you suppose they’re-“
“Us, most likely.” Itachi determined that from the fact that every once in a while he felt the gaze of the two on them.
“Are you two together?” Sasuke asked as if on cue.
“No,” Itachi replied flatly.
“Yes.” Kakashi beamed at the bemused looks on the younger boys’ faces.
“Okay. Because that totally answers my question.” Sasuke rolled his eyes, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
“I do wonder where he go to be so caustic,” Kakashi idly wondered as they passed another hallway full of portraits.
Kakashi knocked his shoulder gently into Itachi’s, who returned the favor with an added eye roll.
“Will you two stop flirting?” Naruto’s voice was almost bored with a hint of irritability.
Itachi smirked and Kakashi smiled at him some more.
“Why? Jealous? I would be.”
Itachi frowned slightly, shaking his head ‘no’ at Kakashi.
“We’re here,” Sasuke announced.
They all turned and looked at Naruto’s masterpiece.
*
“Please? Pretty, pretty please?” Naruto begged, eyes gleaming with hope. “Oh, come on. Why not? You’d make such a good model,” he coaxed, trying to flatter Itachi.
Itachi folded his arms. He was not to be moved. “No, why don’t you do a self portrait?”
Naruto, taking a chance and knowing it might cost him a week of sex, said in his most innocuous tone, “You know, I could always ask Sasuke; didn’t he used to do ads for Espirit? You guys are almost identical, it wouldn’t be hard.” He trailed off, seeing the daggers in Itachi’s stare.
“Yeah, a self portrait sounds good.”
Naruto wasn’t sure, but that might have been the first time Itachi smiled that smile, a mixture of triumph and amusement.
*
“It’s a self portrait,” Kakashi observed, his hand finding Itachi’s who stood there motionless. He squeezed it.
Sasuke slapped his own face in frustration. “No, of course it isn’t. Naruto painted his identical twin brother.”
“I have a twin brother? That’s so cool!” Naruto perked up. “I never knew-“
“Naruto, you don’t have a twin brother. I was just joking.”
“Oh. Sasuke, you’re so mean! Tricking me like that.” Naruto pouted. As if he suddenly realized Itachi and Kakashi for the first time (something which Itachi knew had been completely planned), Naruto said, “Sasuke and I are just so in love. I can’t even resist him when he’s being a jerk.” Feeling a bit sheepish at the strange looks the other three were giving him, the blonde scratched his head. He motioned the painting, “So, guys, what do you think?”
“It’s amazing,” Sasuke said, for even though he’d seen it before, it still took his breath away. “You’re amazing.” He turned Naruto’s chin to face him and they shared a deep kiss.
“It’s incredible. Is the background entirely made up of clouds?” Kakashi asked, leaning forward to examine the painting some more, but without letting go of Itachi’s hand. Naruto nodded and his eyes darted quickly, almost randomly, at Itachi’s face before flitting away again.
“Yup. Sai helped out a bit with the shading and sketching, but I did most of it. Do you like it?” Naruto aimed his question at Itachi.
“Yes.”
Naruto waited, obviously wanting the older Uchiha to say more. When Itachi refrained, Naruto’s face fell for a moment before he turned back to Kakashi.
“So, since Ice Prince isn’t saying anything, what else did you like about it?’
Sasuke began kissing Naruto’s neck, trying to soothe Naruto’s feelings.
“Yes, the eyes are particularly extraordinary, Electric. They seem to be staring right at me.”
“I thought, you know, about putting blue as the background but then I decided against it.”
Kakashi nodded his consensus. “Good.”
*
Itachi strummed his guitar, plucking deftly at the strings. He sang softly,
“I feel so lucky
That you chose me
There’s nothing about you that I can ignore
Can't do nothing but love you more and more
You complete me, you are my core
Together we’ll soar
Everything with you feels new
I’d go crazy without you
This love is mystic and sparkly, that’s for sure
Our love, it’s the stuff of lore
I love your eyes, so honest, so blue
I can’t believe I found you
Everything about you, I adore
I couldn’t ask for more
This love between me and you
I’ll never find anything so pure and so true
Though we can’t be together
I’ll always love you forever.”
“God, Itachi. Is there anything you can’t do?” Naruto smiled in the doorway, properly amazed. “But can we change the last few lines?”
“Whatever you want.” Itachi smiled and laid down his guitar. “Come here.”
And Naruto was drawn to him as though he couldn’t help himself. He was in Itachi’s embrace before he’d even finished the command.
*
“Well, that wasn’t so bad.” Kakashi flopped down on Itachi’s bed. He lay on his back with his head tilted in Itachi’s direction. He was thinking about sex. Lately Itachi was hardly ever in the mood. Kakashi used his oh so brilliant brain and deduced it had something to do with Naruto.
“For you maybe.” Itachi sank down on the bed, pulling off his shoes. He turned and lay on his stomach.
“Do you think I was too obvious?”
“No, I think you were perfect.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why? You’re not the one who lied to him.”
“Wanna fuck?” Kakashi rubbed his forehead absently and took his mask off. He didn’t mean to be obtuse; he was just horny.
But Itachi didn’t move. Big surprise. It hit Kakashi that a) Kakashi jr. was not getting any action and b) Itachi was not okay. So, how to proceed? Kakashi knew as well as anyone how talking to Itachi about his feelings required as much tact as stepping through a minefield. But tact had never been Kakashi’s forte so he decided to hell with it.
“Hey, ‘tachi, you’re really upset about this.”
“You think?” Itachi still had his face pressed into the blankets. An alarming, impossible thought occurred to the gray haired man. He rolled onto his knees and made Itachi look at him by pulling at his hair.
“Shit, you’re…”
Itachi glared through shimmering eyes. He wasn’t crying, but he was close. “ Yes. Shut up. Just because I can’t see, doesn’t mean I can’t cry.”
“I never…God, Itachi.” Kakashi gathered Itachi into his arms. Holding him.
“Do you think Sasuke told him I was blind?”
“No. Really, I don’t think so. He will someday, though. It’s a genetic trait, isn’t it? There’s a chance Sasuke might have it.”
“Hn.” Itachi’s back straightened. “This conversation is over.”
*
“I love you.”
“What?”
Itachi was silent.
“Did you just say…”
“Yes.”
“Well, I don’t know,” Naruto lied. “Maybe we’re just meant to be friends…”
Itachi took a step backwards, removing his arm from where it had comfortably lain around Naruto’s waist.
Startled, Naruto grabbed Itachi’s hand, trying in vain to return it to its proper place. Perplexed, Naruto muttered, “I’m just joking.” It was a lame finish, he’d admit to that. Most people thought Itachi didn’t care about anything, but Naruto could see by the set of his chin that Itachi was hurt.
“I love you too. Kiss me?” Naruto asked, trying not to sound so desperate. But he couldn’t lose Itachi like this, over a dumb joke. When Itachi hesitated, Naruto feel his stomach clench. He lowered his eyes to the floor, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Then Itachi kissed him and as Naruto closed his eyes in pleasure, the pain in his stomach went away.
*
“So what are you going to do?”
“Get some paper and a pen.”
“I don’t want to let you go…Okay, okay. Fine.” Kakashi reluctantly released Itachi from his embrace. He went to Itachi’s desk and found what he was looking for.
“So, what do you want me to do, exactly?” Kakashi asked when he had everything in front of him.
“I’m going to dictate to you. You’re going to scribe for me.”
Kakashi sat down at Itachi’s desk, twirling the pen in his hand. “Ready when you are.”
“You once asked me how I could give up the love of my life.”
“Yes?”
“This is my answer:
He makes my heart soar, my laugh kinder, my voice sweeter.
He makes my hands tingle and my knees weak.
He makes my breath catch and his smile makes my day.
He makes me want to be better- stronger.
I want so many things now, because of him.
I want to be there for him. Always.
I want him to be happy and laughing.
I want him to want this as much as I do.
I don’t want him to cry or be sad.
I don’t want him to want for anything.
I don’t want him to ever doubt himself.
I don’t want him to want anyone else but me.
He makes my world so much brighter.
I want us to last forever.
I don’t want to lose him.
I know it can’t last, this paradise.”
“Oh, Itachi…”
“Whatever. Let’s go out and get plastered.”Itachi paused, considering. “I’ll try to, anyway.”
“Yeah,” Kakashi agreed quietly. “We’ll try. It’s the only thing we can do.”
“Sasuke’s not speaking to me.” Itachi’s voice was calm with almost no inflection. There was only the slightest tremble, as though suppressing the pain.
“Why?”
Itachi just glared in his general direction and Kakashi hung his head. They both knew the answer to that question.
*
“Go to sleep, Oturan,” Itachi’s voice was tired, mellow and contented. Naruto wondered how on earth Itachi had known he wasn’t asleep.
“You snore when you sleep.” Could Itachi read minds? It wasn’t the first time he’d wondered. Then Naruto replayed the conversation. “Who’s Otur-whatever?” Naruto’s eyebrows scrunched into one confused line. “Itachi, are you cheating on me? Are you not happy, Itachi? With me, I mean… I know there are millions of others-“
Itachi silenced him with a forceful kiss, lighting a fire in both their bellies.
“There’s no one else I’d rather be with.”
Naruto hated the fact that he could never tell if Itachi was lying. Then turned the hatred on himself; why couldn’t he just accept Itachi’s love?
“But…”
“Oturan is Naruto spelled backwards.”
“That’s cool.” Naruto smiled his pleasure at Itachi’s coolness.
“Yes. Now let’s sleep.”
Naruto feigned disappointment. “Oh, so you don’t wanna..” Naruto’s toes traced up Itachi’s shin and his hand traced the side seam of Itachi’s shirt downwards. He fondled Itachi through his boxers.
Itachi’s eyes opened a crack, arousal already spreading in his neither regions. “Would that make you happy?”
“Very.”
Itachi grinned wolfishly and looking into his ridiculously handsome face, Naruto thought he’d die of happiness.
*
While Itachi and Kakashi were trying to drink themselves under the table, Sasuke and Naruto made love. It was hot, frantic, and a little bit more violent than usual. It started when the elevator doors opened and they tumbled out, already trying to rip the other’s clothes off. They were in various states of undress when Sasuke fumbled for his keys and let them both in. They were naked except for their socks when the fell onto the bed. It was normal until the climax, when Naruto bit down on Sasuke’s ivory skin, right above the collar bone. Sasuke cried out in shock, ecstasy, and pain. When they were done, they lay panting, sprawled across the bed in a tangle of arms and legs. They ignored the mess and fell asleep.
In the morning, Sasuke was the first to wake. He felt…sticky. He glanced sideways and spotted a folded piece of paper on the bedside table. It was addressed to Naruto. From Itachi. Ice flooded Sasuke’s insides. Without a second’s hesitation, Sasuke pocketed the note. He couldn’t risk throwing it in the trash bin where Itachi could easily pick it out. No, Sasuke had to burn it. Sasuke thought solemnly, Sorry, nii-san, but I love him and I can’t let you take him away from me. If Itachi wanted Naruto back… Sasuke also knew he couldn’t risk it. Sasuke believed Itachi couldn’t love anyone, that Naruto deserved better. Itachi was a monster, wasn’t he? Didn’t everyone always say that behind Itachi’s back? And he was blind, too. Naruto needed someone to appreciate his artwork, his body, his beauty. And Itachi would just drag him down. No, Sasuke was convinced he was doing the right thing. So he stuffed the offensive note into the pillow case. There.
Naruto’s arm suddenly flailed and nearly hit Sasuke’s head. Sasuke rolled to the side, taking the blanket with him. Naruto’s body, on top of the covers, rolled to the opposite side and onto the floor with a thump.
“Owww! Kami that hurt!” Naruto was loud, even in the morning. He sat up and crawled back on the bed. He noticed the blood drying on Sasuke’s chest. He looked confused, then- “Oh, I’m so sorry,” he said, over and over. Because he couldn’t bring himself to say what he really meant: Don’t leave me.
He hopped off the bed, and flew out of the bedroom. Naruto flicked on the hallway lights, stumbling towards the kitchen for a bag of ice. It was only when he returned did he realize…
“This is Itachi’s room.”
“Yup. ”
Naruto flinched, visibly upset.
“Um, can I have the ice?”
“What? Oh, yes.” Naruto hurried over and handing it over.
Sasuke murmured his thanks. “What time is it?”
“Uh,” Naruto checked his orange Baby-G. “Five in the morning. How’s,” he gestured at the ice.
“It’s okay now, I think.” Sasuke scrutinized Naruto’s face. He leaned back on the pillows and patted the bed with his other hand. Naruto sat down. Sasuke cleared his throat three times before asking, “Were you and my brother, uh, into that stuff? Bondage, that whole thing?”
Leave to Sasuke to turn this into a learning experience. Naruto heaved a sigh of relief.
“Well, sometimes we’d use handcuffs, um, cock rings, er, nipple clamps…” They both blushed, lapsing into silence.
*
Itachi asked between slow, open-mouthed kisses, “Naruto, are you happy?”
Naruto opened his eyes and stared dreamily into the night colored eyes that belonged to his boyfriend.
“Yes. Just,” Naruto took Itachi’s slender hand in his tan one, “stay with me, and I’ll be okay.”
When Itachi did not reply, Naruto smiled. Because he understood- Itachi was pleased with his answer.
*
“Was it hard seeing him today?”
“No,” Naruto said, not meaning a word of it. But Sasuke didn’t push him. Instead he slipped his hand into the pillow case, looking for the note. He touched it, shivering. Then took his hand out.
“You told me before they got there, that you hated him. Were you telling the truth?” Sasuke pulled the blond toward him with one hand, kissing him on the forehead.
“Yeah,” Naruto responded, nestling in the crook of Sasuke’s elegant neck. “I hate him.” He closed his eyes, knowing his eyes would certainly give him away.
A few minutes later, Sasuke asked, “Hey, you happy Naru-baby?”
Eyes still closed, Naruto asked in a forced, light hearted tone, “Yeah, Sas, why wouldn’t I be?”
*
Itachi and Naruto were sitting outside, watching the fireworks. Sasuke had come with them but was currently MIA because he’d spotted Sakura and suddenly disappeared because according to Sasuke, “that girl is crazy!” . The sky was alight with different shapes and colors exploding, dazzling the audience below. Itachi turned from the sight and tapped Naruto on the shoulder.
“Go out with me.” Itachi’s eyes were dark, filled with some emotion that Naruto didn’t recognize.
“Why?” Naruto was curious about the reason, but his answer was still going to be a resounding YES. He’d only been in love with the elusive prodigy since their teens. Now he was twenty three, he’d been waiting for Itachi to make the first move.
“Because you want to.”
“What about Sasuke? You know he won’t be happy.”
“Sasuke doesn’t have to know,” Itachi reasoned.
Naruto grinned. “Okay.”
He crawled over to Itachi and straddled him. “Kiss me.”
Itachi raised an eyebrow at Naruto’s demand. But he obliged, because really, he’d be a fool not to miss the opportunity to kiss the boy of his dreams.
*
“You really loved him, don’t you?” Kakashi asked a question that really didn’t need answering. “You still do.”
Itachi tuned him out perfunctorily.
“Are you happy, Itachi?” Kakashi asked, kissing Itachi’s moon-lightened ear as Itachi lay near-comatose on his back. But Itachi just turned over onto his other side.
“We fucked. Three rounds. Go. To. Sleep.”
“I love you.” On anyone else, save for Itachi, Kakashi’s tone could have been mistaken for pleading.
Itachi pulled the pillow over his head, his chest heaving ever so slightly, like he was trying to catch his breath. Like he knew he’d lost something very precious and knew he’d never get it back.
-Fin
Author: iff_u_loved_me
Genre: Naruto
Pairing: Itachi/Naruto, Sasuke/Naruto, Itachi/Kakashi
Rating: R
Warning(s): none
Disclaimer: Belongs to Masashi Kishimoto
Summary: Itachi and Naruto had a rough break up. They're trying to move on and see other people. It should be so easy. But it's not, especially since they never stopped loving each other.
Word Count: 3660
A/N: This took me a long time to write, but it was definitely worth it. I had a lot of fun - let me know what you think! Also, the parts in italics go backwards in time.
Introduction:
I’m well aware of the fact that I may be crazy. Insane. It’s all my fault, too. Why I am this way. After Naruto and I broke up, I lost my sense of time. My heart and brain know I cannot go on without him by my side. I refuse to move forwards, determined to always remember my happiest times. But even those are corrupted, tainted with regret. I’ll be strolling down the street, expression haughtily blank. I’ll be thinking, not about what businesses to invest in or what I want to do with my life, but about my time with him. When I was truly happy. I may be moving forwards on the outside, but on the inside, I’m stuck in time, bouncing back and forth, not unlike a yoyo. I go backwards, searching for answers to questions I already know.
*
“I’ve been thinking,” Itachi began.
“Uh-oh,” Naruto mock-groaned. “Haven’t I told you how dangerous you thinking can be?”
Itachi made to shove him gently but then stopped. He wrapped his arms around himself as if he was cold. His eyes were carefully devoid of emotion, which Naruto found worrisome. Itachi was stoic, but he always mellowed out around Naruto.
“Sasuke loves you, Naruto.”
“And I love you,” Naruto insisted, not liking where this was going.
“I want you to be with him.” Itachi’s voice stated that there would be no argument. But Naruto wouldn’t give Itachi up. Never.
“What? Do you not love me anymore?” Naruto staggered backwards.
“No, of course not. But Sasuke’s my brother.”
“And you’re my boyfriend! I thought you loved me!”
Itachi said quietly, “Yes, Naruto. Loved.”
“Tell me to go. Tell me you don’t love me.” This never worked in the movies, Naruto knew. But it was worth a shot.
Itachi ‘s monotone broke Naruto’s already splintering heart. “I. Don’t. Love. You. Anymore.”
And Naruto, for all his time with Itachi, still couldn’t tell if he was lying. So he did what his body would allow him to do: he ran.
*
“Itachi-kun,” Kakashi drawled. “We’re going to be late.”
Itachi blinked and squashed the temptation to rub his eyes.
“Isn’t that your specialty?” Itachi shot back, pulling on his black leather jacket and checking the pockets for his car keys. He put his sun glasses on.
“Oh, you,” Kakashi smiled at him. “You look so sexy in those shades, so dangerous. But I know the truth, inside you’re just a…” Kakashi stopped, figuring he liked his body the way it was. But he finished the sentence in his mind, you’re just a little boy whose had his heart broken. You think you’re invincible. There was a frown playing along Itachi’s lips and Kakashi kissed him gently, trying to bring his boyfriend back to the present.
“Enough,” Itachi said as he opened the car door. “Let’s go.”
“Really, though,” Kakashi started again once they were both inside. “You’re usually so anal about being on time. What gives? Do you hate Naruto or something? Trying to get back at him? Some ex-lovers' spat?” Kakashi kept his tone light but he was worried and wanted to figure out why Itachi was acting so weird.
“I don’t hate Naruto. I’m going to his art exhibit aren’t I?” Itachi reasoned as he turned on the ignition.
“I guess.” Kakashi knew better than to retaliate after Itachi’s stern tone of this-conversation-is-over.
*
“Sasuke knows.” Itachi sat down at the table with his book. He waited for the explosion. He didn’t have to wait long.
“What?! How?!” Naruto yelped, flailing his arms about. Itachi ignored his theatrics.
“He talked to Kakashi.”
“Bastard! I know he’s, like, obsessed with you- but that’s just harsh!”
“I’ve spoken with Kakashi.”
Naruto didn’t ask for details. Kakashi was probably in a lot of pain right now. But, Naruto thought viciously, that’s what he deserved for blabbing about his and Itachi’s relationship. “Why on earth did we tell Kakashi?”
Itachi refrained from rolling his eyes. “We didn’t tell him; he walked in on us.”
“Oh, yeah. So what do we do now?”
“I’ll think of something.” Itachi opened his book and his eyes began to sharpen as it quickly scanned the print.
“I love you,” Naruto said desperately.
Still immersed in his book, Itachi nodded. “I know.”
*
“You guys are late,” Naruto accused when Kakashi and Itachi finally arrived at the art gallery. He carefully avoided Itachi’s eye.
“Nii-san,” Sasuke greeted, going up to hug his older brother. He shook hands with Kakashi.
“I can’t wait to see Naruto’s painting. Isn’t this so exciting, ‘tachi?” Kakashi asked, looping his arm through Itachi’s.
“Follow us,” Sasuke instructed as he and Naruto went forward, leading the way. Itachi and Kakashi stayed a good few feet back, letting the couple have their privacy.
Itachi stared uncaringly at the floor as he ignored the sharp pain in his heart.
“Stop being so obvious,” Kakashi said lowly, cocking his head to the side and speaking into Itachi’s ear.
Sasuke and Naruto were talking quietly.
“What do you suppose they’re-“
“Us, most likely.” Itachi determined that from the fact that every once in a while he felt the gaze of the two on them.
“Are you two together?” Sasuke asked as if on cue.
“No,” Itachi replied flatly.
“Yes.” Kakashi beamed at the bemused looks on the younger boys’ faces.
“Okay. Because that totally answers my question.” Sasuke rolled his eyes, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
“I do wonder where he go to be so caustic,” Kakashi idly wondered as they passed another hallway full of portraits.
Kakashi knocked his shoulder gently into Itachi’s, who returned the favor with an added eye roll.
“Will you two stop flirting?” Naruto’s voice was almost bored with a hint of irritability.
Itachi smirked and Kakashi smiled at him some more.
“Why? Jealous? I would be.”
Itachi frowned slightly, shaking his head ‘no’ at Kakashi.
“We’re here,” Sasuke announced.
They all turned and looked at Naruto’s masterpiece.
*
“Please? Pretty, pretty please?” Naruto begged, eyes gleaming with hope. “Oh, come on. Why not? You’d make such a good model,” he coaxed, trying to flatter Itachi.
Itachi folded his arms. He was not to be moved. “No, why don’t you do a self portrait?”
Naruto, taking a chance and knowing it might cost him a week of sex, said in his most innocuous tone, “You know, I could always ask Sasuke; didn’t he used to do ads for Espirit? You guys are almost identical, it wouldn’t be hard.” He trailed off, seeing the daggers in Itachi’s stare.
“Yeah, a self portrait sounds good.”
Naruto wasn’t sure, but that might have been the first time Itachi smiled that smile, a mixture of triumph and amusement.
*
“It’s a self portrait,” Kakashi observed, his hand finding Itachi’s who stood there motionless. He squeezed it.
Sasuke slapped his own face in frustration. “No, of course it isn’t. Naruto painted his identical twin brother.”
“I have a twin brother? That’s so cool!” Naruto perked up. “I never knew-“
“Naruto, you don’t have a twin brother. I was just joking.”
“Oh. Sasuke, you’re so mean! Tricking me like that.” Naruto pouted. As if he suddenly realized Itachi and Kakashi for the first time (something which Itachi knew had been completely planned), Naruto said, “Sasuke and I are just so in love. I can’t even resist him when he’s being a jerk.” Feeling a bit sheepish at the strange looks the other three were giving him, the blonde scratched his head. He motioned the painting, “So, guys, what do you think?”
“It’s amazing,” Sasuke said, for even though he’d seen it before, it still took his breath away. “You’re amazing.” He turned Naruto’s chin to face him and they shared a deep kiss.
“It’s incredible. Is the background entirely made up of clouds?” Kakashi asked, leaning forward to examine the painting some more, but without letting go of Itachi’s hand. Naruto nodded and his eyes darted quickly, almost randomly, at Itachi’s face before flitting away again.
“Yup. Sai helped out a bit with the shading and sketching, but I did most of it. Do you like it?” Naruto aimed his question at Itachi.
“Yes.”
Naruto waited, obviously wanting the older Uchiha to say more. When Itachi refrained, Naruto’s face fell for a moment before he turned back to Kakashi.
“So, since Ice Prince isn’t saying anything, what else did you like about it?’
Sasuke began kissing Naruto’s neck, trying to soothe Naruto’s feelings.
“Yes, the eyes are particularly extraordinary, Electric. They seem to be staring right at me.”
“I thought, you know, about putting blue as the background but then I decided against it.”
Kakashi nodded his consensus. “Good.”
*
Itachi strummed his guitar, plucking deftly at the strings. He sang softly,
“I feel so lucky
That you chose me
There’s nothing about you that I can ignore
Can't do nothing but love you more and more
You complete me, you are my core
Together we’ll soar
Everything with you feels new
I’d go crazy without you
This love is mystic and sparkly, that’s for sure
Our love, it’s the stuff of lore
I love your eyes, so honest, so blue
I can’t believe I found you
Everything about you, I adore
I couldn’t ask for more
This love between me and you
I’ll never find anything so pure and so true
Though we can’t be together
I’ll always love you forever.”
“God, Itachi. Is there anything you can’t do?” Naruto smiled in the doorway, properly amazed. “But can we change the last few lines?”
“Whatever you want.” Itachi smiled and laid down his guitar. “Come here.”
And Naruto was drawn to him as though he couldn’t help himself. He was in Itachi’s embrace before he’d even finished the command.
*
“Well, that wasn’t so bad.” Kakashi flopped down on Itachi’s bed. He lay on his back with his head tilted in Itachi’s direction. He was thinking about sex. Lately Itachi was hardly ever in the mood. Kakashi used his oh so brilliant brain and deduced it had something to do with Naruto.
“For you maybe.” Itachi sank down on the bed, pulling off his shoes. He turned and lay on his stomach.
“Do you think I was too obvious?”
“No, I think you were perfect.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why? You’re not the one who lied to him.”
“Wanna fuck?” Kakashi rubbed his forehead absently and took his mask off. He didn’t mean to be obtuse; he was just horny.
But Itachi didn’t move. Big surprise. It hit Kakashi that a) Kakashi jr. was not getting any action and b) Itachi was not okay. So, how to proceed? Kakashi knew as well as anyone how talking to Itachi about his feelings required as much tact as stepping through a minefield. But tact had never been Kakashi’s forte so he decided to hell with it.
“Hey, ‘tachi, you’re really upset about this.”
“You think?” Itachi still had his face pressed into the blankets. An alarming, impossible thought occurred to the gray haired man. He rolled onto his knees and made Itachi look at him by pulling at his hair.
“Shit, you’re…”
Itachi glared through shimmering eyes. He wasn’t crying, but he was close. “ Yes. Shut up. Just because I can’t see, doesn’t mean I can’t cry.”
“I never…God, Itachi.” Kakashi gathered Itachi into his arms. Holding him.
“Do you think Sasuke told him I was blind?”
“No. Really, I don’t think so. He will someday, though. It’s a genetic trait, isn’t it? There’s a chance Sasuke might have it.”
“Hn.” Itachi’s back straightened. “This conversation is over.”
*
“I love you.”
“What?”
Itachi was silent.
“Did you just say…”
“Yes.”
“Well, I don’t know,” Naruto lied. “Maybe we’re just meant to be friends…”
Itachi took a step backwards, removing his arm from where it had comfortably lain around Naruto’s waist.
Startled, Naruto grabbed Itachi’s hand, trying in vain to return it to its proper place. Perplexed, Naruto muttered, “I’m just joking.” It was a lame finish, he’d admit to that. Most people thought Itachi didn’t care about anything, but Naruto could see by the set of his chin that Itachi was hurt.
“I love you too. Kiss me?” Naruto asked, trying not to sound so desperate. But he couldn’t lose Itachi like this, over a dumb joke. When Itachi hesitated, Naruto feel his stomach clench. He lowered his eyes to the floor, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Then Itachi kissed him and as Naruto closed his eyes in pleasure, the pain in his stomach went away.
*
“So what are you going to do?”
“Get some paper and a pen.”
“I don’t want to let you go…Okay, okay. Fine.” Kakashi reluctantly released Itachi from his embrace. He went to Itachi’s desk and found what he was looking for.
“So, what do you want me to do, exactly?” Kakashi asked when he had everything in front of him.
“I’m going to dictate to you. You’re going to scribe for me.”
Kakashi sat down at Itachi’s desk, twirling the pen in his hand. “Ready when you are.”
“You once asked me how I could give up the love of my life.”
“Yes?”
“This is my answer:
He makes my heart soar, my laugh kinder, my voice sweeter.
He makes my hands tingle and my knees weak.
He makes my breath catch and his smile makes my day.
He makes me want to be better- stronger.
I want so many things now, because of him.
I want to be there for him. Always.
I want him to be happy and laughing.
I want him to want this as much as I do.
I don’t want him to cry or be sad.
I don’t want him to want for anything.
I don’t want him to ever doubt himself.
I don’t want him to want anyone else but me.
He makes my world so much brighter.
I want us to last forever.
I don’t want to lose him.
I know it can’t last, this paradise.”
“Oh, Itachi…”
“Whatever. Let’s go out and get plastered.”Itachi paused, considering. “I’ll try to, anyway.”
“Yeah,” Kakashi agreed quietly. “We’ll try. It’s the only thing we can do.”
“Sasuke’s not speaking to me.” Itachi’s voice was calm with almost no inflection. There was only the slightest tremble, as though suppressing the pain.
“Why?”
Itachi just glared in his general direction and Kakashi hung his head. They both knew the answer to that question.
*
“Go to sleep, Oturan,” Itachi’s voice was tired, mellow and contented. Naruto wondered how on earth Itachi had known he wasn’t asleep.
“You snore when you sleep.” Could Itachi read minds? It wasn’t the first time he’d wondered. Then Naruto replayed the conversation. “Who’s Otur-whatever?” Naruto’s eyebrows scrunched into one confused line. “Itachi, are you cheating on me? Are you not happy, Itachi? With me, I mean… I know there are millions of others-“
Itachi silenced him with a forceful kiss, lighting a fire in both their bellies.
“There’s no one else I’d rather be with.”
Naruto hated the fact that he could never tell if Itachi was lying. Then turned the hatred on himself; why couldn’t he just accept Itachi’s love?
“But…”
“Oturan is Naruto spelled backwards.”
“That’s cool.” Naruto smiled his pleasure at Itachi’s coolness.
“Yes. Now let’s sleep.”
Naruto feigned disappointment. “Oh, so you don’t wanna..” Naruto’s toes traced up Itachi’s shin and his hand traced the side seam of Itachi’s shirt downwards. He fondled Itachi through his boxers.
Itachi’s eyes opened a crack, arousal already spreading in his neither regions. “Would that make you happy?”
“Very.”
Itachi grinned wolfishly and looking into his ridiculously handsome face, Naruto thought he’d die of happiness.
*
While Itachi and Kakashi were trying to drink themselves under the table, Sasuke and Naruto made love. It was hot, frantic, and a little bit more violent than usual. It started when the elevator doors opened and they tumbled out, already trying to rip the other’s clothes off. They were in various states of undress when Sasuke fumbled for his keys and let them both in. They were naked except for their socks when the fell onto the bed. It was normal until the climax, when Naruto bit down on Sasuke’s ivory skin, right above the collar bone. Sasuke cried out in shock, ecstasy, and pain. When they were done, they lay panting, sprawled across the bed in a tangle of arms and legs. They ignored the mess and fell asleep.
In the morning, Sasuke was the first to wake. He felt…sticky. He glanced sideways and spotted a folded piece of paper on the bedside table. It was addressed to Naruto. From Itachi. Ice flooded Sasuke’s insides. Without a second’s hesitation, Sasuke pocketed the note. He couldn’t risk throwing it in the trash bin where Itachi could easily pick it out. No, Sasuke had to burn it. Sasuke thought solemnly, Sorry, nii-san, but I love him and I can’t let you take him away from me. If Itachi wanted Naruto back… Sasuke also knew he couldn’t risk it. Sasuke believed Itachi couldn’t love anyone, that Naruto deserved better. Itachi was a monster, wasn’t he? Didn’t everyone always say that behind Itachi’s back? And he was blind, too. Naruto needed someone to appreciate his artwork, his body, his beauty. And Itachi would just drag him down. No, Sasuke was convinced he was doing the right thing. So he stuffed the offensive note into the pillow case. There.
Naruto’s arm suddenly flailed and nearly hit Sasuke’s head. Sasuke rolled to the side, taking the blanket with him. Naruto’s body, on top of the covers, rolled to the opposite side and onto the floor with a thump.
“Owww! Kami that hurt!” Naruto was loud, even in the morning. He sat up and crawled back on the bed. He noticed the blood drying on Sasuke’s chest. He looked confused, then- “Oh, I’m so sorry,” he said, over and over. Because he couldn’t bring himself to say what he really meant: Don’t leave me.
He hopped off the bed, and flew out of the bedroom. Naruto flicked on the hallway lights, stumbling towards the kitchen for a bag of ice. It was only when he returned did he realize…
“This is Itachi’s room.”
“Yup. ”
Naruto flinched, visibly upset.
“Um, can I have the ice?”
“What? Oh, yes.” Naruto hurried over and handing it over.
Sasuke murmured his thanks. “What time is it?”
“Uh,” Naruto checked his orange Baby-G. “Five in the morning. How’s,” he gestured at the ice.
“It’s okay now, I think.” Sasuke scrutinized Naruto’s face. He leaned back on the pillows and patted the bed with his other hand. Naruto sat down. Sasuke cleared his throat three times before asking, “Were you and my brother, uh, into that stuff? Bondage, that whole thing?”
Leave to Sasuke to turn this into a learning experience. Naruto heaved a sigh of relief.
“Well, sometimes we’d use handcuffs, um, cock rings, er, nipple clamps…” They both blushed, lapsing into silence.
*
Itachi asked between slow, open-mouthed kisses, “Naruto, are you happy?”
Naruto opened his eyes and stared dreamily into the night colored eyes that belonged to his boyfriend.
“Yes. Just,” Naruto took Itachi’s slender hand in his tan one, “stay with me, and I’ll be okay.”
When Itachi did not reply, Naruto smiled. Because he understood- Itachi was pleased with his answer.
*
“Was it hard seeing him today?”
“No,” Naruto said, not meaning a word of it. But Sasuke didn’t push him. Instead he slipped his hand into the pillow case, looking for the note. He touched it, shivering. Then took his hand out.
“You told me before they got there, that you hated him. Were you telling the truth?” Sasuke pulled the blond toward him with one hand, kissing him on the forehead.
“Yeah,” Naruto responded, nestling in the crook of Sasuke’s elegant neck. “I hate him.” He closed his eyes, knowing his eyes would certainly give him away.
A few minutes later, Sasuke asked, “Hey, you happy Naru-baby?”
Eyes still closed, Naruto asked in a forced, light hearted tone, “Yeah, Sas, why wouldn’t I be?”
*
Itachi and Naruto were sitting outside, watching the fireworks. Sasuke had come with them but was currently MIA because he’d spotted Sakura and suddenly disappeared because according to Sasuke, “that girl is crazy!” . The sky was alight with different shapes and colors exploding, dazzling the audience below. Itachi turned from the sight and tapped Naruto on the shoulder.
“Go out with me.” Itachi’s eyes were dark, filled with some emotion that Naruto didn’t recognize.
“Why?” Naruto was curious about the reason, but his answer was still going to be a resounding YES. He’d only been in love with the elusive prodigy since their teens. Now he was twenty three, he’d been waiting for Itachi to make the first move.
“Because you want to.”
“What about Sasuke? You know he won’t be happy.”
“Sasuke doesn’t have to know,” Itachi reasoned.
Naruto grinned. “Okay.”
He crawled over to Itachi and straddled him. “Kiss me.”
Itachi raised an eyebrow at Naruto’s demand. But he obliged, because really, he’d be a fool not to miss the opportunity to kiss the boy of his dreams.
*
“You really loved him, don’t you?” Kakashi asked a question that really didn’t need answering. “You still do.”
Itachi tuned him out perfunctorily.
“Are you happy, Itachi?” Kakashi asked, kissing Itachi’s moon-lightened ear as Itachi lay near-comatose on his back. But Itachi just turned over onto his other side.
“We fucked. Three rounds. Go. To. Sleep.”
“I love you.” On anyone else, save for Itachi, Kakashi’s tone could have been mistaken for pleading.
Itachi pulled the pillow over his head, his chest heaving ever so slightly, like he was trying to catch his breath. Like he knew he’d lost something very precious and knew he’d never get it back.
-Fin