(no subject)
Title: A Beaver, a Sloth, and a Lemming Do a Group Presentation on Grammar
Author: katiemariie is my main but ifanythingelse is where this is posted
Rating: R
Word Count: 1024
Pairings: Troy/Abed, Annie/Vaughn
Summary: Five times Annie though Abed and Troy were going to get her an F and the one time they got her an A.
Disclaimer: I don't own Community.
Notes: This was written for help_haiti for misura.
Warning: Spoilers through "Romantic Expressionism."
1. “Okay, so I was thinking we could do a PowerPoint--”
“Do you know that orange is the only word in the English dictionary that doesn't rhyme with anything?”
“--with a flowchart--”
“That's not right. There's gotta be something rhymes with orange.”
“--that contrasts--”
“It has to be true. I read it on the back of a box of Captain Crunch when I was eight. Cereal boxes were an invaluable source of information during the nineties.”
“--el preterito con el imperfecto.”
“Yeah. It would be like false advertisement or something if they made that up.”
“We could choose something else but--”
“And personally I don't think the Captain would lie to me. As the a naval officer, he is by far the most trustworthy of the cereal spokespeople.”
“--PowerPoint looks really professional.”
“I never liked that Trix bunny, man. He's got, like, evil eyes.”
“Like Sadako in the original Japanese version of the Ring.”
“Guys, are you even listening to me?”
2. Annie is seriously-seriously!-considering leaving when Abed and Troy walk in the meeting room with Abed carrying a giant stuffed animal and Troy wearing Spiderman face paint. “You're thirty minutes late!”
“Sorry. There was a carnival in the parking lot next to the mall.”
“Troy won me a Pink Panther at the ring toss,” Abed says, holding up his prize. “I don't think this is licensed.”
“And I got my face painted.”
“And we went on this really cool ride where we laid down on our stomachs and it was like we were hang gliding.”
“And we got you a funnel cake.”
“But we ate it.”
3. “Do you think we should conjugate estar in the imperfect? We're going to conjugate it in the preterite but I don't know if we should do it in the imperfect because it's not irregular in the imperfect. What do you think?”
“Estaba. Estabas,” Troy recites, pounding his fist on the table.
“Estaba. Estábamos. Estaban,” Abed joins in, using his pen as a snare.
“¿Dónde estaba a tú acaba de la palabra?”
“Estoy hablando en tú condo yo soy Rolando.”
“Se llama Rolando. Tu mama Rolando.”
“Oh, snap.”
“You just got served.”
“Palabra.”
4. “Hey, the door was open so I-oh my god! Um.”
“It's not what it looks,” Troy squeaks, pulling up the covers of Abed's bed. “We were just...”
“Having sex,” Abed finishes.
“Dude!”
“What?”
“Uh. I will just... I, um, let's just meet in the library next time.”
5. Vaughn takes one look at Annie and proclaims that she needs a good sweat. She's about to tell him that they're not quite in that phase of their relationship just yet when he starts telling her about his friend Kyhan's sweat lodge. Twenty minutes later, there's sweat dripping down her back and thoughts running through her head about cultural appropriation. Is this as bad as that time she got braids done in Cancun? And where's the line between co-opting someone's culture and trying to appreciate it? Sometimes being white can be really difficult.
“Whatchu thinking about, Annie Bananie?” Vaughn asks, ladling more water onto the coals.
“The Man.”
“Right on... How's the Spanish project going?”
“Terriblemente. Troy and Abed never want to talk about the project and when they do it's all about how we should do an interpretive dance or kickpunching or punchkicking.”
“You know, Annie, you're not a salmon. You don't have to make a miraculous journey back to your birthplace so you lay your eggs in fresh water. You don't have to go against the current all the time.”
“I know but--”
“Annie. Annie, you're a beaver. Now, you can build your dam with toothpicks or you can complain about not having any twigs. You dig?”
“Yeah. I think so... Are the walls in here supposed to move?”
1. “Cue one go,” Annie whispers and Star-burns turns off the lights in Señor Chang's classroom. She waits until Abed and Troy are on their marks then says, “Cue two go,” prompting Shirley to turn on the overhead projector which illuminates Abed and Troy, who are staring at the ground. Annie turns on the flashlight she holds under her chin. “The Preterite,” Troy raises his left arm above his head. “Versus the Imperfect.” Abed mirrors Troy's pose. “The preterite is used for single, completed actions.” Troy scuffs the floor with his left heel. “The imperfect is used for habitual actions or events.” Abed scuffs with his left heel, does a ball change, and scuffs with his right heel. “The imperfect is used for description that sets the stage for main action.” Abed takes a knee and points to Troy like a magician's lovely assistant. “The preterite is used for the highlighted, main action.” Troy steps forward and does the tick, rotating around in a circle, and waving his arms in the air. “The imperfect is used for background actions.” Abed crouches behind Troy, pointing his left arm in the air, and cocking his hips.
The dance goes on for another twenty minutes. By the end of it, Abed and Troy are soaked in sweat and Annie is pretty sure she will never live this down. The class gapes at them for what seems like forever before Señor Chang starts clapping. Annie's not quite sure if this is one of his sarcastic slow claps or one of his your-failure-makes-me-feel-so-superior slow claps. It's a toss up. Chang slowly makes his way to the front of the class. “That...” he says, “was... brilliant!”
“Does that mean we get an A?” Annie asks hopefully.
“Yes. You get an A.” Annie hugs Troy and Abed, jumping up and down. “But everyone else fails! I haven't seen such a slew of mundane PowerPoint presentations since I bought a timeshare. Worst decision of my life! They don't tell you about the monthly maintenance fee! Motherfuckers!” Chang kicks his waste basket into the hallway. “Dismissed.”
Author: katiemariie is my main but ifanythingelse is where this is posted
Rating: R
Word Count: 1024
Pairings: Troy/Abed, Annie/Vaughn
Summary: Five times Annie though Abed and Troy were going to get her an F and the one time they got her an A.
Disclaimer: I don't own Community.
Notes: This was written for help_haiti for misura.
Warning: Spoilers through "Romantic Expressionism."
1. “Okay, so I was thinking we could do a PowerPoint--”
“Do you know that orange is the only word in the English dictionary that doesn't rhyme with anything?”
“--with a flowchart--”
“That's not right. There's gotta be something rhymes with orange.”
“--that contrasts--”
“It has to be true. I read it on the back of a box of Captain Crunch when I was eight. Cereal boxes were an invaluable source of information during the nineties.”
“--el preterito con el imperfecto.”
“Yeah. It would be like false advertisement or something if they made that up.”
“We could choose something else but--”
“And personally I don't think the Captain would lie to me. As the a naval officer, he is by far the most trustworthy of the cereal spokespeople.”
“--PowerPoint looks really professional.”
“I never liked that Trix bunny, man. He's got, like, evil eyes.”
“Like Sadako in the original Japanese version of the Ring.”
“Guys, are you even listening to me?”
2. Annie is seriously-seriously!-considering leaving when Abed and Troy walk in the meeting room with Abed carrying a giant stuffed animal and Troy wearing Spiderman face paint. “You're thirty minutes late!”
“Sorry. There was a carnival in the parking lot next to the mall.”
“Troy won me a Pink Panther at the ring toss,” Abed says, holding up his prize. “I don't think this is licensed.”
“And I got my face painted.”
“And we went on this really cool ride where we laid down on our stomachs and it was like we were hang gliding.”
“And we got you a funnel cake.”
“But we ate it.”
3. “Do you think we should conjugate estar in the imperfect? We're going to conjugate it in the preterite but I don't know if we should do it in the imperfect because it's not irregular in the imperfect. What do you think?”
“Estaba. Estabas,” Troy recites, pounding his fist on the table.
“Estaba. Estábamos. Estaban,” Abed joins in, using his pen as a snare.
“¿Dónde estaba a tú acaba de la palabra?”
“Estoy hablando en tú condo yo soy Rolando.”
“Se llama Rolando. Tu mama Rolando.”
“Oh, snap.”
“You just got served.”
“Palabra.”
4. “Hey, the door was open so I-oh my god! Um.”
“It's not what it looks,” Troy squeaks, pulling up the covers of Abed's bed. “We were just...”
“Having sex,” Abed finishes.
“Dude!”
“What?”
“Uh. I will just... I, um, let's just meet in the library next time.”
5. Vaughn takes one look at Annie and proclaims that she needs a good sweat. She's about to tell him that they're not quite in that phase of their relationship just yet when he starts telling her about his friend Kyhan's sweat lodge. Twenty minutes later, there's sweat dripping down her back and thoughts running through her head about cultural appropriation. Is this as bad as that time she got braids done in Cancun? And where's the line between co-opting someone's culture and trying to appreciate it? Sometimes being white can be really difficult.
“Whatchu thinking about, Annie Bananie?” Vaughn asks, ladling more water onto the coals.
“The Man.”
“Right on... How's the Spanish project going?”
“Terriblemente. Troy and Abed never want to talk about the project and when they do it's all about how we should do an interpretive dance or kickpunching or punchkicking.”
“You know, Annie, you're not a salmon. You don't have to make a miraculous journey back to your birthplace so you lay your eggs in fresh water. You don't have to go against the current all the time.”
“I know but--”
“Annie. Annie, you're a beaver. Now, you can build your dam with toothpicks or you can complain about not having any twigs. You dig?”
“Yeah. I think so... Are the walls in here supposed to move?”
1. “Cue one go,” Annie whispers and Star-burns turns off the lights in Señor Chang's classroom. She waits until Abed and Troy are on their marks then says, “Cue two go,” prompting Shirley to turn on the overhead projector which illuminates Abed and Troy, who are staring at the ground. Annie turns on the flashlight she holds under her chin. “The Preterite,” Troy raises his left arm above his head. “Versus the Imperfect.” Abed mirrors Troy's pose. “The preterite is used for single, completed actions.” Troy scuffs the floor with his left heel. “The imperfect is used for habitual actions or events.” Abed scuffs with his left heel, does a ball change, and scuffs with his right heel. “The imperfect is used for description that sets the stage for main action.” Abed takes a knee and points to Troy like a magician's lovely assistant. “The preterite is used for the highlighted, main action.” Troy steps forward and does the tick, rotating around in a circle, and waving his arms in the air. “The imperfect is used for background actions.” Abed crouches behind Troy, pointing his left arm in the air, and cocking his hips.
The dance goes on for another twenty minutes. By the end of it, Abed and Troy are soaked in sweat and Annie is pretty sure she will never live this down. The class gapes at them for what seems like forever before Señor Chang starts clapping. Annie's not quite sure if this is one of his sarcastic slow claps or one of his your-failure-makes-me-feel-so-superior slow claps. It's a toss up. Chang slowly makes his way to the front of the class. “That...” he says, “was... brilliant!”
“Does that mean we get an A?” Annie asks hopefully.
“Yes. You get an A.” Annie hugs Troy and Abed, jumping up and down. “But everyone else fails! I haven't seen such a slew of mundane PowerPoint presentations since I bought a timeshare. Worst decision of my life! They don't tell you about the monthly maintenance fee! Motherfuckers!” Chang kicks his waste basket into the hallway. “Dismissed.”