Dormez vous?

[if_she_hollers]

So I, like, hid in the basement when like, that Korean death plague was going around and I think I, like, fell asleep.  It was like, a really good nap, but I think it might've been on the long side since I guess, like, two weeks have passed.  It's like, totally hard to keep track of time when you're in the dark all the time and sleeping, but I

Comments

[be_on_your]

You tell him, dude.

[if_she_hollers]

Like, it would be incredibly icky.

[be_on_your]

What, you don't like dudes, dude?

[if_she_hollers]

. . . Huh? Like, not when we don't even know each other. He has this like, awful stare that he keeps using on me.

[be_on_your]

Ooh, that's bad, dude. Sounds like you got landed with a real creeper.

[if_she_hollers]

It's like, totally OK, though, since his kids are here too. I can like, make him go live with them if he gets super freaky.

[be_on_your]

Good idea, dude! Sounds like you really know what you're doing.

[if_she_hollers]

I know! My mom was all like, "Ini you are so not ready to go live on your own" and I was like, "I totally am" and she was like "You totally aren't" and I was like, "Are so" and I'm like totally proving her wrong. Like, say no to drugs. And like, sex.

But like, you and Dahlia doing well? You two are so like, cute together.

[be_on_your]

Yeah, you showed her, dude. I don't think you have to say no to sex all the time, though. The dodos did that, and, like, look what happened to them, right?

She's alright, dude, but it's not like we're actually together. This town is just wack, for serious.

[if_she_hollers]

Oh. My. God. I'd like, go extunct. That would totally ruin my curls.

So she hasn't like, made a move on a total star like you? Who's she waiting around for?

[be_on_your]

I know, right? But yeah, I'm totes single. Doesn't look like that'll change any time soon, either. Maaan...

[if_she_hollers]

Hmmm . . .

So like, I hate to change the topic, but like, the Japanese wombat flu totally interrupted our lunch plans.

[be_on_your]

Dude, that was totes lame of the wombat. You wanna meet up sometime?

[if_she_hollers]

Like, sure! But I like, don't know anyplace that isn't filled with those creepy drones.

[be_on_your]

Maybe a nice dinner at my place instead, dude?

[if_she_hollers]

Like, double hmmmmmmmm.

Really? Will your family be like, ok? It'll be like, super cool to talk to someone else who comes from my place. I like, really miss ramen and horror movies and stuff.