Comments | if_she_hollers: Dormez vous?

if_she_hollers

Dormez vous?

Oct 14, 2009 22:38

So I, like, hid in the basement when like, that Korean death plague was going around and I think I, like, fell asleep. It was like, a really good nap, but I think it might've been on the long side since I guess, like, two weeks have passed. It's like, totally hard to keep track of time when you're in the dark all the time and sleeping, but I ( Read more... )

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Action xerxesalchemist October 15 2009, 03:13:47 UTC

[Old? I'm younger than you are.

And he's staring at her. From right behind her. As she's talking on the phone. Yeah. Just standing there.]

if_she_hollers October 15 2009, 03:16:12 UTC

And like, if you don't stop staring at me when I'm on the phone, I'm going to like, pretend not to see you when I turn around and elbow you in like, the face totally by accident.

xerxesalchemist October 15 2009, 03:18:42 UTC

's there a reason you're trying to talk to me on that thing?

[He doesn't move. He's far enough away from her that she wouldn't be able to "accidently" hit him if she tried. It's one of those long distance stares.]

if_she_hollers October 15 2009, 03:21:39 UTC

I like, totally thought you were out getting murdered by a vampire.

[She finally puts the phone down and turns around with her well-practiced vacant stare fixed in place.]

So like, welcome to the family. I'm like, Ini Miney, and like, the boy is named, umm. Hurricane. There's another kid, but it's totally like, a fake, and you can just like, ignore it.

xerxesalchemist October 15 2009, 03:28:09 UTC

I was about to go to the store.

[He's pretty sure the boy isn't named "Hurricane". He has never heard that word before.]

...

[What name should he tell her?]

Number 23.

if_she_hollers October 15 2009, 03:36:46 UTC

Oh, did they like, give things back? Like, darn, I missed it. . . . Um. 23 what?

xerxesalchemist October 15 2009, 03:41:13 UTC

No. We're out of bread.
...
I think someone said that people got boxes on their doorstep. With their things in them.
...
...
That's what you can call me. Number 23.

if_she_hollers October 15 2009, 03:47:29 UTC

What, really? That's like, weird, 'cause I totally woke up another time and went to the kitchen and there was like tons of bread everywhere so I brought it all down and like, ate it all when I woke up, so I don't see how we can be out . . . of . . .

. . . Ohhhhhhh.

And, um, Number 23 is so not a name. I can't like, call you that. Does that mean there are like, 23 of you who all look the same so Ed is like, Number 1?

xerxesalchemist October 15 2009, 03:50:14 UTC

[Yeah. He's not very impressed with her. At all.]

No. It's just a number.

And Ed is my... Ed is my son.

if_she_hollers October 15 2009, 03:58:37 UTC

. . .

Wow. I didn't think you were that old. K, I'll call you like, Mr. Elric, then.

xerxesalchemist October 15 2009, 03:59:56 UTC

I'm not that old. I'm from earlier.

...

That's not my name.

if_she_hollers October 15 2009, 04:07:04 UTC

. . . Like, what do you mean by ear -- . . . Oh.

. . . Duh. Times. Different times. . . . Geez, I should've figured that out myself. The lawyer looks like a hobo and that woman is still alive. Huh, I'm still alive. I swear, being Ini kills off at least 100 brain cells a day.

Huh? So that's not like, your last name? Anyway, I can't like, call you a number, so you're gonna be like, Edsdad then.

xerxesalchemist October 15 2009, 04:15:14 UTC

Van Hoenheim.

if_she_hollers October 15 2009, 04:18:03 UTC

Oh, good. You can like, go ahead and get the bread now, Van.

And like, remember. We're not sleeping together. You already have kids anyway.

xerxesalchemist October 15 2009, 04:20:08 UTC

[just. stares. and then leaves]

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