READ BITCHES.
Sad News
It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment
community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast
infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the
belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased
coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects
including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins,
Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave
site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy
and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he
was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later
life was filled with
turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much
of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky
at times he was still a crusty old man and was considered a roll
model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough,
two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the
oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart. The
funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment
community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast
infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the
belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased
coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects
including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins,
Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave
site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy
and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he
was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later
life was filled with
turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much
of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky
at times he was still a crusty old man and was considered a roll
model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough,
two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the
oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart. The
funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.