Nov 22, 2008 21:27
Although I'm pretty sure no one even reads this anymore, or cares, I've realized that I've only posted once about my life in Chicago. I have been here for nearly two years, and as far as any written recollection goes, I've got nada. So for my own future interest, here's a little about what's happened in my life since January two years ago.
I moved to Chicago. I lived in a dorm in the heart of the most touristy downtown section of the city and I loved it. Going from Waverly to the big city, this was exactly the type of atmosphere I needed to get me out of my small-town slump. School wasn't even school anymore. I felt / feel no connection to Loyola, but it doesn't really bother me. Muhlenberg has always been where I went to school. Loyola is just something I'm going through to graduate.
I spent that summer in PA working at the Waffle House, which I have to admit wasn't all that bad. I worked all night and spent my days enjoying summer (not in the city). In September, I got an apartment in Lincoln Park. It was fun while it lasted, despite the countless problems with the apartment itself, the landlord, and the roommate issue that forced me to move out in February. I'm back downtown now, living here for I don't know how long. My living situation is more uncertain now then it was then and I'm trying to tolerate it until I figure out what I'm doing with my life. That's about all there is to say about that.
I work at a tea shop. I love it, but I need a real job. Graduating and moving on to 'real life' freaks me out. I can't even think about it. Right now I need to focus on getting another internship, otherwise I can't graduate in the spring.
If I could redo the past two years, I'd definitely do them differently. I haven't paid enough attention to myself - something I thought I learned to do a long time ago, but once again I've proved that all to often I let my emotions get the better of me.
I'm tired. I'm lonely. I don't feel the connections to people here like the people at home. After two years, I still don't feel it.
I'm pretty certain I'm moving after I graduate. Maybe to North Carolina, or recently I've been thinking of going back home for a while. I don't know where, but I need a change. I think I wrote when I first got here that I felt I couldn't stay in any one place for too long. If I felt that way then, imagine how I feel now. I love it here, but the one thing that was keeping me here is gone now and I'm losing my desire to stay.