i don't know what i feel
i've been feeling so good lately. recent events have made things easier to deal with. easier to move on. easier to walk away. somethings should never be forgotten and so many i would welcome the loss of memory. in welcoming a lot of new things, i find myself remembering the old. its funny how the new experiances make you miss the ones you've already have.
in hugging someone new i remember the way you would feel next to me. how my arms wrapped around you rather than this new body next to me. its forign and i should try to get to know it. but all i want is familiarity.
i've been taking in my options with open arms like i should. its soppose to help and make things easier. yet sometimes its harder. maybe nothing makes it easier but your decision to make it easy.
the past few days you're on my mind less than i would ever imagine. its more memories that i dwell on now. in starting something with a new person i find myself remembering the way we started. i remember those scraches on the hood of your car. and its funny how scratches on paint can bring tears to my eye...but at least this time there's a smile on my lips. they were good times...and they should be cherished not thrown away in haste or in an effort to forget. i only hope you haven't forgotten.
even with things being as messy as they have been there was still a hope for us that i held on to. but its slipping away slowly each day. your face is still there in my thoughts of the future and its those i can't seem to shake. but everything else for us seems dead and hopeless.
ps i don't appreciate being blamed for someone else's wrong doing. just because he can't blame himself. i didn't cause your pain or your problems. and now, just like always, you'll create the problems. i've walked away and i will never "help" a friend like i thought i did again. i will never open myself up to people like you again. to people who hold this nasty fiber inside of them and will use the darkest secrets agaisnt their best of friends. i don't need people like you in my life. and i thought i did away with you. all of you. but you keep resurfacing....and i'm the one who has to let go? my name is not yours to drag in the mud and defile like you defile everything else. i'm not here for you to laugh at a destroy. cause nothing you say effects me, because nothing you say holds value. you are all lower than low. and you will all hit rock bottom...because you all have not felt the need to grow up. the world will force you to and you will all find yourself in a whirlwind of not wanting to accept things and loosing everything you have. i can't see any of you making a difference in this world....
i did not cause your heartache. i did not cause your problems. they have been there for much longer than you care to ever know. you ignored them and you ignored her and now you've gotten what you deserve. because this time she thought about herself...and she was sick of being dragged along for the ride...and ride that seems to being going nowhere....
in hugging someone new i remember the way you would feel next to me. how my arms wrapped around you rather than this new body next to me. its forign and i should try to get to know it. but all i want is familiarity.
i've been taking in my options with open arms like i should. its soppose to help and make things easier. yet sometimes its harder. maybe nothing makes it easier but your decision to make it easy.
the past few days you're on my mind less than i would ever imagine. its more memories that i dwell on now. in starting something with a new person i find myself remembering the way we started. i remember those scraches on the hood of your car. and its funny how scratches on paint can bring tears to my eye...but at least this time there's a smile on my lips. they were good times...and they should be cherished not thrown away in haste or in an effort to forget. i only hope you haven't forgotten.
even with things being as messy as they have been there was still a hope for us that i held on to. but its slipping away slowly each day. your face is still there in my thoughts of the future and its those i can't seem to shake. but everything else for us seems dead and hopeless.
ps i don't appreciate being blamed for someone else's wrong doing. just because he can't blame himself. i didn't cause your pain or your problems. and now, just like always, you'll create the problems. i've walked away and i will never "help" a friend like i thought i did again. i will never open myself up to people like you again. to people who hold this nasty fiber inside of them and will use the darkest secrets agaisnt their best of friends. i don't need people like you in my life. and i thought i did away with you. all of you. but you keep resurfacing....and i'm the one who has to let go? my name is not yours to drag in the mud and defile like you defile everything else. i'm not here for you to laugh at a destroy. cause nothing you say effects me, because nothing you say holds value. you are all lower than low. and you will all hit rock bottom...because you all have not felt the need to grow up. the world will force you to and you will all find yourself in a whirlwind of not wanting to accept things and loosing everything you have. i can't see any of you making a difference in this world....
i did not cause your heartache. i did not cause your problems. they have been there for much longer than you care to ever know. you ignored them and you ignored her and now you've gotten what you deserve. because this time she thought about herself...and she was sick of being dragged along for the ride...and ride that seems to being going nowhere....