well i had to go and ask

[if_i_fall]

i wanted answers and well i got them. of course they are never what i want to hear. i have no choice but to move on now and start over. it feels like im starting from scratch. i've got nothing to cook with.

can one be filled with emptiness? cause that's what it feels like. its funny. starting over is suppose to hold this feeling of good, freshness, a clean slate. well i never asked for one. i'm sick of starting over. and im sick of being told to move on. i haven't gotten my chance to deal. it was taken from me a few times and i embraced it. i wish i had been stronger.

you make me weak.

its funny how one acts out of love. how the actions become so twisted. and how we act out of frustration and fear. and now im even more scared. cause this time i don't have someone to hold my hand and make the bad things go away. i have to face them alone.

when did alone become such a frightening word?

you'll move on.

i held you higher than i held anyone...and i feel like just another notch on your belt. this IS devestating.

this is real...and i can't turn it off like you. maybe i was wrong about all of this. maybe my instinct failed me. maybe i was blinded.