Wacky HP theory/observation
I've been listening to the HP books on tape to refresh myself before the seventh book, and I'm about half-way through HBP. I'm at work right now, but I've been listening while I type up invoices, and something has just struck me - something that I remember thinking after finishing the book the first time. See, I'm at that wonderful scene where Dobby and Kreacher are trying to pull each other's ears off, and Harry orders them both to follow Malfoy - and I remembered that Harry never tells them to STOP. It's the kind of thing JKR overlooks in her own books, sometimes, so I'm not really expecting it to be important, but you all know the way my mind works. I probably don't even need to tell you that in my mental 7th book, Dobby shows up as soon as Harry is next alone (at the Dursleys', probably) and tells him exactly where Malfoy is hiding out and what he is up to.
And while we're talking about Dobby and wacky theories, don't you think he'd be the PERFECT secret keeper, for, well, anything? Harry or Dumbledore could tell him anything, and there's no way the death eaters would ever even entertain the possibility - could be an interesting story premise, too, if he were interrogated by one of the Malfoys. In my personal, mental version of HP, Dobby and Winky move into Grimmauld place and have it sparkly-clean in no time. I think the shock of the filth of the place would snap Winky out of her funk.
Anyway, before the final book comes out, I want to say, I predict:
- RAB = Regulus Alphard Black = (possibly) the "faked death" JKR mentioned = (crazy-theory) Stubby Boardman (there are a few good fics with this premise)
- Peter will save/not kill Harry and be killed by Voldemort for it.
- Hermione and Ron will wind up together by the end of the book, probably near the end.
- Ginny will wait dutifully for Harry and will probably provide some sort of help in the Horcrux quest (whether she intends it or not)
- Snape only intended to swear that he'd watch over Draco, and was backed into a corner when Narcissa asked him to carry out Draco's orders. I'm not sure whether he and Dumbledore discussed the fact that Snape was going to have to kill Dumbledore, but I think it likely. I don't think they figured out a way around it. I don't think there are bottled pensieve memories left somewhere, but if there are, they will not be found until after Snape is dead. Cuz, yeah, Snape is done for.
- The single representatives of the "dangerous" or "inferior" magical species that we have met (Grawp, Firenze, Dobby, Remus, maybe even Norbert, etc) will continue to be important (with the exception of Sanguini, who I believe was comic relief). Also, there will be Goblins, and they will kick ass and take names.
I would like to see:
- Harry offer Draco a place to hide, because Dumbledore wanted it. (which I think is possible)
- Grayback show up at Bill and Fleur's wedding to finish the job, only to have Fleur hit him with a spell Molly taught her for gutting fish or carving turkeys or something domestic like that. (which is less likely, but also possible)
- Hermione and Ron only hook up after she kisses Harry, either to make Ron mad or just because she's frustrated and confused and cares about them both. (also somewhat possible)
- Ginny not waiting dutifully for Harry, and thus the end of the series without The Hero getting The Girl. This is not the slasher in me - I am just perverse and love unexpected endings. (not very likely)
- Harry being the last Horcrux (extremely unlikely)
- Harry make a public statement/ interview about Stan Shunpike and similar,
- Harry make a public statement/ interview about how stupid anti-werewolf/goblin/giant laws are. Ideally this leads to the werewolves falling in with the Order, or at least staying out of things.
- Zack Smith having something to do with the Cup. (Smith may be a common name, but old Jewish names are not so common)
- Dumbledore had a family, but Grindelwald killed them, and that is what he relived when Harry forced him to drink the potion.
Crazy-mad theory I really don't expect to be true but I would be soooo pleased if it is:
Tonks polyjuiced.
No, really. She's changed, she can't metamorphize, her Patronus is different (and a shape that would make sense for Peter - or Sirius - but not anyone else), she looks freaked when Snape mentions her new Patronus in front of Harry (which I think he did to tip him off), and most tellingly, she won't make eye contact with Dumbledore. Ideally, she is Peter, who is trying to keep an eye on Lupin. This is ideal not just because the Patronus fits, but because I really like Peter/Remus, particularly unrequited, and Tonks-in-Love-with-Remus being Peter would be just my cup of tea.
I want to hear y'all's crazy theories, too. Please?