Playlist Meme ficlets (Dick/Tim)
I wrote these a while back but never typed up and posted. darthanne requested Nightwing, and this was handy. Ha ha! I can be both lazy and quick-on-the-draw!
These were for a meme I saw somewhere. Here is how it works - I picked a pairing (Dick/Tim) and put my playlist on random shuffle. For the duration of each song, and only for the duration of each song, I wrote something for that pairing. When the song was over, I moved on to the next one. (Except I’m slow and I cheated, and I listened to each song twice). Those who know me well will be unsurprised that in a random shuffle of all the music I own, half the songs that came up were shanties.
Frank Sinatra - Love and Marriage
Robin rolled his eyes and tried, very hard, to kick Nightwing off the roof. He’d have felt better if Dick had at least lowered his binoculars while he caught his balance.
“You,” Robin said, “are not allowed to make fun of my love life again until I have proposed to at least two women.”
That, at least, finally got the binoculars out of the way. Dick looked at him incredulously from behind his mask. “Two women?”
“You’ve proposed four times, to three different women. You’ve stood at the altar three times, and never, actually, been married. You don’t get say a word about my love life until I’m at least at half your total."
“That’s a sucker’s bet. You’re not the marrying type.”
Robin smirked. “Not in this state, anyway."
This I tell you brother,
You can't have one without the other.
*
Spacehog - Space Is the Place
“Tamaranian marriages are most often exclusive.”
Dick blinked at his new bride. “I kind of assumed that,” he said.
“There are exceptions made,” Kory continued, “for certain pre-existing relationships.”
Dick gave her a long look.
“Boys of high birth are sometimes fostered with other influential families, as a way to build alliances outside the marriage bed. These boys often engage in sexual play with their foster-siblings as they come of age. Those relationships are important, both personally and politically, and often continue into adulthood, even after the foster-brothers marry and form new alliances.”
“Kory,” Dick said, taking her hand. “I don’t know what brought this on, but - you have to know I love you. I made a vow. I’m going to be faithful to you until the day I die.”
Koriand’r’s lush golden lips pressed into a pout. “Does that mean we won’t be inviting Robin up for the weekend?”
And just because you kiss your brother
it doesn’t mean to say you’re gay
cuz even when you’re fucking him it doesn’t mean you don’t love me
*
The Corsairs - The Derelict
You could always tell the really bad ones as soon as you got to the scene, before you even had a chance to look around. The worst ones always had a smell. This one was made all the worse by the fact the crime scene was floating in the middle of Gotham Harbor.
“Coast Guard found her adrift,” Nightwing was saying. He was standing in the mess - literally, in fact. The floor was covered in blood and bilge-water an inch deep. The scuppers must have been blocked, somehow. “They don’t know what to do with it. The boat’s supposed to be for lobster, but the hold is full of coke. I’ve IDed ten of the crew so far - all with serious records.”
“The entire crew is dead?” Tim asked. He stepped over a man with a spike through his face so that he could look at Nightwing’s notes.
“Fifteen men, one woman,” Nightwing confirmed.
“But the drugs are still here?”
“Half a ton of Columbian pure.”
Tim looked around. The cook had been strangled, obviously, but not before inflicting multiple stab wounds on one of the other men with a very large knife. The causes of death were fairly clear. One man still had a fire-axe embedded in his skull, half his face missing. Another was pinned to the wall with a harpoon, blood still dripping slowly from his cooling corpse.
“They all killed each other?”
“Looks like it,” Nightwing said. “Maybe fear toxin?”
“Maybe a fifteen way cut didn’t look like enough anymore, once they got out of Santa Prisca."
“Why Robin,” Dick said with a grin, "so cynical, so young! Don’t they get the benefit of the doubt?”
“Maybe,” Tim said, “if this weren’t my third derelict massacre this month.”
The mate was fixed by the bos'n's pike,
The bos'n brained with a marlinspike,
And Cookey's throat was marked belike
It had been gripped by fingers ten;
And there they lay, All good dead men
Like break-o'-day in a boozing-ken--
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!
*
The Bilge Pumps - Itches In Me Britches
“It’s times like these,” Dick said as Tim climbed into the jet, “that I almost miss the shortpants.”
Tim blinked at his non-sequitor as he buckled himself into the co-pilot’s seat. “What are you talking about?”
“The goodbye you got from Wonder Girl, down there. Not to mention the way Ravager was glaring at the two of you.”
“You get plenty of attention as Nightwing.”
“Not like that, man. I don’t know what it is about the Robin suit - I used to get macked on all the time! Maybe the Nightwing suit is too intimidating, or something. I haven’t had a girl throw herself at me all week.”
“You’re getting old,” Tim said.
Dick let go of the stick long enough to try for a nerve strike. Tim blocked it easily, gripping his wrist. “Maybe I should try out a new uniform,” he said.
Tim looked down at the gloved hand in his grasp, and did not think about following the blue stripe up from his fingertips, over his chest and shoulders, down the other arm…with his tongue. “Nah,” he said, as casually as he could, “I kind of like this one.”
Well when I was only six months old, the girls would handle me
They'd clutch me to their bosoms and they'd bounce me on their knee
They would rock me in the cradle and if I made a row
They'd tickle me, they'd cuddle me, I wish they'd do it now
These were for a meme I saw somewhere. Here is how it works - I picked a pairing (Dick/Tim) and put my playlist on random shuffle. For the duration of each song, and only for the duration of each song, I wrote something for that pairing. When the song was over, I moved on to the next one. (Except I’m slow and I cheated, and I listened to each song twice). Those who know me well will be unsurprised that in a random shuffle of all the music I own, half the songs that came up were shanties.
Frank Sinatra - Love and Marriage
Robin rolled his eyes and tried, very hard, to kick Nightwing off the roof. He’d have felt better if Dick had at least lowered his binoculars while he caught his balance.
“You,” Robin said, “are not allowed to make fun of my love life again until I have proposed to at least two women.”
That, at least, finally got the binoculars out of the way. Dick looked at him incredulously from behind his mask. “Two women?”
“You’ve proposed four times, to three different women. You’ve stood at the altar three times, and never, actually, been married. You don’t get say a word about my love life until I’m at least at half your total."
“That’s a sucker’s bet. You’re not the marrying type.”
Robin smirked. “Not in this state, anyway."
This I tell you brother,
You can't have one without the other.
*
Spacehog - Space Is the Place
“Tamaranian marriages are most often exclusive.”
Dick blinked at his new bride. “I kind of assumed that,” he said.
“There are exceptions made,” Kory continued, “for certain pre-existing relationships.”
Dick gave her a long look.
“Boys of high birth are sometimes fostered with other influential families, as a way to build alliances outside the marriage bed. These boys often engage in sexual play with their foster-siblings as they come of age. Those relationships are important, both personally and politically, and often continue into adulthood, even after the foster-brothers marry and form new alliances.”
“Kory,” Dick said, taking her hand. “I don’t know what brought this on, but - you have to know I love you. I made a vow. I’m going to be faithful to you until the day I die.”
Koriand’r’s lush golden lips pressed into a pout. “Does that mean we won’t be inviting Robin up for the weekend?”
And just because you kiss your brother
it doesn’t mean to say you’re gay
cuz even when you’re fucking him it doesn’t mean you don’t love me
*
The Corsairs - The Derelict
You could always tell the really bad ones as soon as you got to the scene, before you even had a chance to look around. The worst ones always had a smell. This one was made all the worse by the fact the crime scene was floating in the middle of Gotham Harbor.
“Coast Guard found her adrift,” Nightwing was saying. He was standing in the mess - literally, in fact. The floor was covered in blood and bilge-water an inch deep. The scuppers must have been blocked, somehow. “They don’t know what to do with it. The boat’s supposed to be for lobster, but the hold is full of coke. I’ve IDed ten of the crew so far - all with serious records.”
“The entire crew is dead?” Tim asked. He stepped over a man with a spike through his face so that he could look at Nightwing’s notes.
“Fifteen men, one woman,” Nightwing confirmed.
“But the drugs are still here?”
“Half a ton of Columbian pure.”
Tim looked around. The cook had been strangled, obviously, but not before inflicting multiple stab wounds on one of the other men with a very large knife. The causes of death were fairly clear. One man still had a fire-axe embedded in his skull, half his face missing. Another was pinned to the wall with a harpoon, blood still dripping slowly from his cooling corpse.
“They all killed each other?”
“Looks like it,” Nightwing said. “Maybe fear toxin?”
“Maybe a fifteen way cut didn’t look like enough anymore, once they got out of Santa Prisca."
“Why Robin,” Dick said with a grin, "so cynical, so young! Don’t they get the benefit of the doubt?”
“Maybe,” Tim said, “if this weren’t my third derelict massacre this month.”
The mate was fixed by the bos'n's pike,
The bos'n brained with a marlinspike,
And Cookey's throat was marked belike
It had been gripped by fingers ten;
And there they lay, All good dead men
Like break-o'-day in a boozing-ken--
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!
*
The Bilge Pumps - Itches In Me Britches
“It’s times like these,” Dick said as Tim climbed into the jet, “that I almost miss the shortpants.”
Tim blinked at his non-sequitor as he buckled himself into the co-pilot’s seat. “What are you talking about?”
“The goodbye you got from Wonder Girl, down there. Not to mention the way Ravager was glaring at the two of you.”
“You get plenty of attention as Nightwing.”
“Not like that, man. I don’t know what it is about the Robin suit - I used to get macked on all the time! Maybe the Nightwing suit is too intimidating, or something. I haven’t had a girl throw herself at me all week.”
“You’re getting old,” Tim said.
Dick let go of the stick long enough to try for a nerve strike. Tim blocked it easily, gripping his wrist. “Maybe I should try out a new uniform,” he said.
Tim looked down at the gloved hand in his grasp, and did not think about following the blue stripe up from his fingertips, over his chest and shoulders, down the other arm…with his tongue. “Nah,” he said, as casually as he could, “I kind of like this one.”
Well when I was only six months old, the girls would handle me
They'd clutch me to their bosoms and they'd bounce me on their knee
They would rock me in the cradle and if I made a row
They'd tickle me, they'd cuddle me, I wish they'd do it now