i hope you thank me...
i've decided that i really want help.when i got my report card on tues and was yelled at for going down and basically called stupid by my mother and me not being able to blink for about an hour and digging my nails into my arm to stop me from crying...didn't work too well. then going into my room which was eventually overcome with motherness. she found my poems and was like
oh these are good can i get copies
no
well their really good
i dont care
(im still crying during all this)
*she reads the one about the girl who cuts herself*
*she turns and walks toward the door*
do u use a knife?
no
do u do that?
*nasty look*
do u?
NO MOTHER!
*mom walks out*
as soon as i hear her get to the bottom of the stairs i go inot the bathroom and get those beautiful siccors that calm me down.i go back into my room and sit on my chair.i decide that maybe i should go all sterotype and try my wrists...didnt work. then since i was just bored and wanted to do it i cut my thigh.it didnt bleed that much but now i have lines on my leg and looks like my cat scratched me.then i had to keep up tradition and do my ankle.then i was back to normal and did my homework.
yesterday was not cool.i felt like shit the whole day i really did. i hate everyone who is loud annoying and just ugh....basically everyone. i hate albany.my mom asked me if i wanted to go to a different school but id prolly kill myself if i went to a diff. school. i cant do it anymore.its really just school. im happy before and after school but during im a mess.at lunch...i cried...i couldnt control it. i felt like my life was being sucked from me.i had nothing left. all i could do was cry.i think i freaked evan out tho cuz he was all concerned and whatnot. me and him walked to the ack and he said that he'd always be there if i needed to talk and i started to cry again.
i want help u guys.i dont want to live like this anymore.i cant stand that i need to see blood come out of my body to feel better.im also really sick so....i dunno.im sick of living my life in fear that someone will find out and look at me like im a freak.i cant help it.i just want things to go back the way they were.
oh these are good can i get copies
no
well their really good
i dont care
(im still crying during all this)
*she reads the one about the girl who cuts herself*
*she turns and walks toward the door*
do u use a knife?
no
do u do that?
*nasty look*
do u?
NO MOTHER!
*mom walks out*
as soon as i hear her get to the bottom of the stairs i go inot the bathroom and get those beautiful siccors that calm me down.i go back into my room and sit on my chair.i decide that maybe i should go all sterotype and try my wrists...didnt work. then since i was just bored and wanted to do it i cut my thigh.it didnt bleed that much but now i have lines on my leg and looks like my cat scratched me.then i had to keep up tradition and do my ankle.then i was back to normal and did my homework.
yesterday was not cool.i felt like shit the whole day i really did. i hate everyone who is loud annoying and just ugh....basically everyone. i hate albany.my mom asked me if i wanted to go to a different school but id prolly kill myself if i went to a diff. school. i cant do it anymore.its really just school. im happy before and after school but during im a mess.at lunch...i cried...i couldnt control it. i felt like my life was being sucked from me.i had nothing left. all i could do was cry.i think i freaked evan out tho cuz he was all concerned and whatnot. me and him walked to the ack and he said that he'd always be there if i needed to talk and i started to cry again.
i want help u guys.i dont want to live like this anymore.i cant stand that i need to see blood come out of my body to feel better.im also really sick so....i dunno.im sick of living my life in fear that someone will find out and look at me like im a freak.i cant help it.i just want things to go back the way they were.