amusing moment of the day
Graduating Student (to wife, as he introduces me): This is Dana. She's the one I told you about who's always bubbly and happy.
Coworker #1 (standing nearby): *chokes on increduality*
GS' Wife: You must love people!
Me: *sparkling* Yes! I love people!
Coworker #2 (also standing nearby): *gapes and chokes on spit*
GS: See, I told you she was a people person.
Coworkers 1 & 2: simultaneous *cough to hide laughter*
Me: Okay! I must mingle! Toodles!
Boss (also standing nearby): *snickers and smirks* Misanthrope mistaken as bubbly people person; isn't that a sign of end of days?
Me: Stop mocking my fear of the impending end of days, or you'll replace John Mayer as "first person I will kill should I ever get the ability to simply think someone dead".
Coworker #1: Oh, god! You got her started on John Mayer. Now all I'll hear for the rest of the day is, "Grumble grumble--pudding--grumble grumble--I'll give you the real world by way of my foot up your ass--grumble grumble--I wrote this song nekkid, heee!"
Me: He's such a fuckwit. He totally needs to be put down. And he has stupid hair, too.
Coworker #2: Be good to your daughters.
Me: Okay, now you're first on the list.
Coworker #2: If you keep up this behavior I'll have to out you to GS as a hateful, spiteful misanthropic grouch.
Me: Bite me.
Coworker #1 (standing nearby): *chokes on increduality*
GS' Wife: You must love people!
Me: *sparkling* Yes! I love people!
Coworker #2 (also standing nearby): *gapes and chokes on spit*
GS: See, I told you she was a people person.
Coworkers 1 & 2: simultaneous *cough to hide laughter*
Me: Okay! I must mingle! Toodles!
Boss (also standing nearby): *snickers and smirks* Misanthrope mistaken as bubbly people person; isn't that a sign of end of days?
Me: Stop mocking my fear of the impending end of days, or you'll replace John Mayer as "first person I will kill should I ever get the ability to simply think someone dead".
Coworker #1: Oh, god! You got her started on John Mayer. Now all I'll hear for the rest of the day is, "Grumble grumble--pudding--grumble grumble--I'll give you the real world by way of my foot up your ass--grumble grumble--I wrote this song nekkid, heee!"
Me: He's such a fuckwit. He totally needs to be put down. And he has stupid hair, too.
Coworker #2: Be good to your daughters.
Me: Okay, now you're first on the list.
Coworker #2: If you keep up this behavior I'll have to out you to GS as a hateful, spiteful misanthropic grouch.
Me: Bite me.