give me second grace
Well it's officially been 10 weeks since the last time I talked in this thing, and my first thing i'm going to do to kick off this journal entry is some good ol' bitchin and moaning. Because if there's one thing I like to do, it's bitch about stuff that's easily all in my head. So I'll just try and sum it up in a list of things I hate about myself. Be warned, I will probably sound like a pussy through out this list, because it's mostly about females in general (big surprise there). Alright so lets get this thing started.
1. I hate that I can't tell when looking at a certain situation if i'm being realistic or pessimistic.
2. I hate the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve.
3. I hate that I'm just overly sensitve to everything.
4. I hate that I can't read girls better.
5. I hate the fact that I feel too clingy when I like someone.
6. I hate that I'm so naive when it comes to girls.
7. I hate the fact that I've possibly ruined every past "relationship" with a female to the point where they don't even talk to me on a friendly level.
8. I hate that I'm so vulnerable to lady love.
9. I hate that I try to fantasize my life as a romantic movie, and am utterly crushed when it doesn't play out like my fantasy.
10. I hate the fact of the 22 years I've been on this earth, I've never really been that intimate with a girl.
11. I hate the fact that since I've been lonely for so long, I may never find that "special someone" and will probably die alone.
12. I hate the fact that I've been lead on for months.
13. I hate the fact that some days I literally want to just end it all. ( I won't, so spare me the intervention).
14. I hate the fact that females are the solution/problem to my life.
15. I hate the fact that I feel socially awkward around people I and find it hard to communicate sometimes.
16. I hate the fact that I lead myself on.
17. I hate the fact that I feel like I need to drink all the time just to loosen up around new people.
18. I hate that I do this to myself.
19. I hate that I'm lazy and not more motivated towards my dreams.
20. I hate that I can't write a good song.
21. I hate that I'm bitching about this in a livejournal of all places.
22. I hate knowing that I don't have the right to be depressed when everyone out there has it 10 times worse than me.
23. I hate mind games from girls and for playing mind games with myself.
24. I hate that I love to hate girls
25. I hate love.
26. I hate that I'm awkward.
27. I hate that I can't express myself better in a more creative way.
28. I hate that sometimes I'll feel a body lying next to me like an amputee feels a phantom limb. (stole that from american splendor, but it still applies to me.)
29. I hate that she smells so good.
30. I hate this list.
31. I hate feeling like I bother people.
Alright so ends my pointless dribble, I feel...a little better to vent it out. Of course I sound like a complete pussy through my hate list as I'll call it. Maybe I'll add more to it, who knows, I'm sure i'm bound to think of some more, of course i'm sure everyone won't read all of it, or read it at all, but as I said it feels good to type it out and just put it out there. But there it is 31 things I hate, random number I know, but what can I say, I'm a random guy.
1. I hate that I can't tell when looking at a certain situation if i'm being realistic or pessimistic.
2. I hate the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve.
3. I hate that I'm just overly sensitve to everything.
4. I hate that I can't read girls better.
5. I hate the fact that I feel too clingy when I like someone.
6. I hate that I'm so naive when it comes to girls.
7. I hate the fact that I've possibly ruined every past "relationship" with a female to the point where they don't even talk to me on a friendly level.
8. I hate that I'm so vulnerable to lady love.
9. I hate that I try to fantasize my life as a romantic movie, and am utterly crushed when it doesn't play out like my fantasy.
10. I hate the fact of the 22 years I've been on this earth, I've never really been that intimate with a girl.
11. I hate the fact that since I've been lonely for so long, I may never find that "special someone" and will probably die alone.
12. I hate the fact that I've been lead on for months.
13. I hate the fact that some days I literally want to just end it all. ( I won't, so spare me the intervention).
14. I hate the fact that females are the solution/problem to my life.
15. I hate the fact that I feel socially awkward around people I and find it hard to communicate sometimes.
16. I hate the fact that I lead myself on.
17. I hate the fact that I feel like I need to drink all the time just to loosen up around new people.
18. I hate that I do this to myself.
19. I hate that I'm lazy and not more motivated towards my dreams.
20. I hate that I can't write a good song.
21. I hate that I'm bitching about this in a livejournal of all places.
22. I hate knowing that I don't have the right to be depressed when everyone out there has it 10 times worse than me.
23. I hate mind games from girls and for playing mind games with myself.
24. I hate that I love to hate girls
25. I hate love.
26. I hate that I'm awkward.
27. I hate that I can't express myself better in a more creative way.
28. I hate that sometimes I'll feel a body lying next to me like an amputee feels a phantom limb. (stole that from american splendor, but it still applies to me.)
29. I hate that she smells so good.
30. I hate this list.
31. I hate feeling like I bother people.
Alright so ends my pointless dribble, I feel...a little better to vent it out. Of course I sound like a complete pussy through my hate list as I'll call it. Maybe I'll add more to it, who knows, I'm sure i'm bound to think of some more, of course i'm sure everyone won't read all of it, or read it at all, but as I said it feels good to type it out and just put it out there. But there it is 31 things I hate, random number I know, but what can I say, I'm a random guy.