Mraz is Cool
I think that tonight proves that I am truly an introvert. Don't get me wrong, my date was fabulous and everyone looked gorgeous but it was weird. The entire time we were at the dance, I was like, I want to go home, or I only have to do this for 2 more hours etc. I guess I just really really like small groups, 3-5 people is nice. I just like sitting down and eating or talking and just looking at each other in the eye and appreciating each others company. I'm really into that. I hate parties and big huge groups of people that you get lost in. There's no true sincerity.
Honestly? Tonight, I would rather have gone to a small restaurant with a few friends and just hung out. That to me would be more fun than all of Winter Formal combined (but getting ready with Kathy and Audrey was really fun). I mean, at the dance, I got really excited if I was able to strike up a small conversation with anyone (yes of course that is not what dances are for). People really phase me sometimes. It's actually really nice to just be alone after a whole night of human contact overload. I actually spent most of the night being sad. I felt an emptiness inside of me that had no cause or reason.. it was just sad. I missed something. I missed what kind of person I used to be. I missed my past. I missed my relationships with so many people including God and my Parents. I missed believing in true love. I missed being a child. I missed long afternoons spent reading instead of watching TV. I missed having someone who understood you. But all these were combined in a plethora of feelings that left me down and homesick for a place that is no longer my home. I'm sorry, I'm not making any sense. I'm just really sad right now. I feel so strange. I should be glad right? I should be thankful for the night I had, but the only thing that keeps going through my head.. is that my time could have been much better spent. I don't know. Shut up Priscilla right? Okay, I just want it to be Thursday night again. That's the other thing that kept running through my head all night.
I'm really glad that Kathy's okay. She got into a small accident and when she called me on the phone to tell me... I got really really worried. I was almost crying because I was afraid she was hurt or something. Thankfully she was perfectly fine. A little bit shaken but still in one piece. I guess you dont' realize how much you love someone until the prospect of them being gone occurs. Blah blah blah.. Good night folks.
-Prscilla
Honestly? Tonight, I would rather have gone to a small restaurant with a few friends and just hung out. That to me would be more fun than all of Winter Formal combined (but getting ready with Kathy and Audrey was really fun). I mean, at the dance, I got really excited if I was able to strike up a small conversation with anyone (yes of course that is not what dances are for). People really phase me sometimes. It's actually really nice to just be alone after a whole night of human contact overload. I actually spent most of the night being sad. I felt an emptiness inside of me that had no cause or reason.. it was just sad. I missed something. I missed what kind of person I used to be. I missed my past. I missed my relationships with so many people including God and my Parents. I missed believing in true love. I missed being a child. I missed long afternoons spent reading instead of watching TV. I missed having someone who understood you. But all these were combined in a plethora of feelings that left me down and homesick for a place that is no longer my home. I'm sorry, I'm not making any sense. I'm just really sad right now. I feel so strange. I should be glad right? I should be thankful for the night I had, but the only thing that keeps going through my head.. is that my time could have been much better spent. I don't know. Shut up Priscilla right? Okay, I just want it to be Thursday night again. That's the other thing that kept running through my head all night.
I'm really glad that Kathy's okay. She got into a small accident and when she called me on the phone to tell me... I got really really worried. I was almost crying because I was afraid she was hurt or something. Thankfully she was perfectly fine. A little bit shaken but still in one piece. I guess you dont' realize how much you love someone until the prospect of them being gone occurs. Blah blah blah.. Good night folks.
-Prscilla