random
perhaps pseudorandom, as a friend of mine once pointed out to me
recently, i realized one of the reasons that yuri is fairly entertaining is seeing the closeness of relationship between women and imposing personal fantasy on that. it seems like woman to woman relationships, when positive, are of quite a different nature than man to man or man to woman relationships. i think there seems to be a closeness there that is not really reflected by the male counterpart of cameraderie or competetive friendship. i think a part of the entertainment value of the yuri is that certain something which women might share which does not exist in male relationships.
i know someone who would about now look at me funny and say 'isnt that obvious?'.....
anyway, something interesting to me is the fact that i have recently been in a deceptively close (deceptively, because it isnt nearly as close as it might seem... is that deceptively far, then? i suppose it depends) relationship with someone which is nearly what i imagine a woman to woman relationship to be, except with less together time. it is at the same time satisfying and difficult. i get the impression that women leave too many things unsaid which have to do with desire, preference, and acceptibility. of course, this causes problems since apparently women can read the minds of other women.
to the next topic,
yesterday it was quite a strange day. a spring storm moved into and over los angeles. it was kind of nice, but cancelled some of my plans. unfortunately i kind of like the girl whose plans were cancelled by the rain. she is nice and talkative but smart and likes to learn. the real topic though was the day.
something to understand about the way i work... i work at a desk with my back to a curtain obscuring a window which is otherwise blinded by some loose-woven cloth shades. i work indoors at a constant ambient temperature of 70 (approximate) with fluctuating humidity depending upon nothing observable. my (?.. maybe the) window faces eastward, which means mornings are bright (and brghter with the summer mornings) and afternoons are reflectively bright due to a building just high enough to reflect the southern or south-western sunlight.
yesterday, the day started with light, fluffy, scattered clouds sparsely spread across the sky, occasionally in groups of two or three (in other words, mostly a clear sky). here, scattered clouds means that they looked something like three dimensional versions of paintball explosions, not that they were far apart, though, that, they generally were. as the day wore on, the bright rising sun was occasionally obscured by one of these drifting pockets of cloud, which were becoming more and more grouped together. eventually, a sheet of cloud with a dark underside drifted in front of the sun, (which of course i mostly notice on my back and my ear) only to drift out of the way some time later. around 1100 or 1200 hours, the sheet actually became solid, covering a large portion of the sky directly above me and a bit out to the east (what i can see out the window), but did not cover the entire sky. shortly therafter, a workmate pointed out that it was raining, and, sure enough, when looking out the window, the street was wet and there were streaming lines of water droplets at a diagonal down the surface of the window. of course, i thought to myself, i didnt even think it would rain today and have no umbrella or any such thing to protect me should it be raining and i happen to have to be outside for a time. as it turned out, it would not be necessary. the rain subsided and passed along, leaving a few holes in the otherwise complete cloud cover in my immediate vicinity. by 320pm or so, when i was walking from the stairwell exit of my workplace to my car, i mused that it was not only fairly dry out by now, but that the sky looked to be clearing. on the drive home, as i drive with the windows down despite the unfortunately smoggy air of los angeles (and the freeway is by no means an exception) i noticed that there was a very slightly humid smell to the air near my workplace (it was mostly dry, strangely), and an increasingly wet smell as i approached my home-place. upon exiting the freeway (with abysmally slow traffic due to as much the upcoming long weekend as the humidity and previous rain), i noticed that the air not only smelled wet, but it smelled like *rain*. it was warm, rain-smelling, and not at the moment raining, so i surmised that the rain had been moving eastward and only recently stopped falling at this place. arriving at my home-place, i met a friend of mine who had been waiting there, who had said to me that when he arrived only 10 minutes earlier, it was raining quite ferociously. as luck would have it, there were a few more light downpours on the way to dinner which led into a drizzle and eventually a completely clear sky (above us and westward) by the time we had finished dinner.
though i spent yesterday mostly alone at work and with a male friend, it was one of those days of beauty (warm spring showers!) that i wish i could share with a someone.
God says to me that i should re-evaluate my self-worth and my own impatience, but living in a human world... and an urban human world at that, makes life a little harder than is necessary. in fact, much harder than my previous life as a .... i should get into that another time. anyway, im sure god knows all of the details, or at least can intuit them. i understand his message as i understand seeing time in a long-viewed perspective, but as a single of the humans being, tearing myself away from the subjective and relative impressions of what is or should be or should be willed according to the human mind (the human collective unconscious) is quite difficult.
tl;dr: 1) woman-woman relationships are interesting, potential for higher highs and lower lows tha male-male counterparts. 2) yesterday was beautiful. spring showers are beautiful. beautiful women (girls?) to share things like this with are quite desireable. 3) god is cool, but it can be frustrating dealing with his timelines. he needs to send me his microsoft project (r) file so i get wtf is going on.
oh. and i saw "the forbidden kingdom" (i think thats the title). it wasnt great, but it wasnt bad. id recommend it as a fun movie to see.
reply, damn you.
recently, i realized one of the reasons that yuri is fairly entertaining is seeing the closeness of relationship between women and imposing personal fantasy on that. it seems like woman to woman relationships, when positive, are of quite a different nature than man to man or man to woman relationships. i think there seems to be a closeness there that is not really reflected by the male counterpart of cameraderie or competetive friendship. i think a part of the entertainment value of the yuri is that certain something which women might share which does not exist in male relationships.
i know someone who would about now look at me funny and say 'isnt that obvious?'.....
anyway, something interesting to me is the fact that i have recently been in a deceptively close (deceptively, because it isnt nearly as close as it might seem... is that deceptively far, then? i suppose it depends) relationship with someone which is nearly what i imagine a woman to woman relationship to be, except with less together time. it is at the same time satisfying and difficult. i get the impression that women leave too many things unsaid which have to do with desire, preference, and acceptibility. of course, this causes problems since apparently women can read the minds of other women.
to the next topic,
yesterday it was quite a strange day. a spring storm moved into and over los angeles. it was kind of nice, but cancelled some of my plans. unfortunately i kind of like the girl whose plans were cancelled by the rain. she is nice and talkative but smart and likes to learn. the real topic though was the day.
something to understand about the way i work... i work at a desk with my back to a curtain obscuring a window which is otherwise blinded by some loose-woven cloth shades. i work indoors at a constant ambient temperature of 70 (approximate) with fluctuating humidity depending upon nothing observable. my (?.. maybe the) window faces eastward, which means mornings are bright (and brghter with the summer mornings) and afternoons are reflectively bright due to a building just high enough to reflect the southern or south-western sunlight.
yesterday, the day started with light, fluffy, scattered clouds sparsely spread across the sky, occasionally in groups of two or three (in other words, mostly a clear sky). here, scattered clouds means that they looked something like three dimensional versions of paintball explosions, not that they were far apart, though, that, they generally were. as the day wore on, the bright rising sun was occasionally obscured by one of these drifting pockets of cloud, which were becoming more and more grouped together. eventually, a sheet of cloud with a dark underside drifted in front of the sun, (which of course i mostly notice on my back and my ear) only to drift out of the way some time later. around 1100 or 1200 hours, the sheet actually became solid, covering a large portion of the sky directly above me and a bit out to the east (what i can see out the window), but did not cover the entire sky. shortly therafter, a workmate pointed out that it was raining, and, sure enough, when looking out the window, the street was wet and there were streaming lines of water droplets at a diagonal down the surface of the window. of course, i thought to myself, i didnt even think it would rain today and have no umbrella or any such thing to protect me should it be raining and i happen to have to be outside for a time. as it turned out, it would not be necessary. the rain subsided and passed along, leaving a few holes in the otherwise complete cloud cover in my immediate vicinity. by 320pm or so, when i was walking from the stairwell exit of my workplace to my car, i mused that it was not only fairly dry out by now, but that the sky looked to be clearing. on the drive home, as i drive with the windows down despite the unfortunately smoggy air of los angeles (and the freeway is by no means an exception) i noticed that there was a very slightly humid smell to the air near my workplace (it was mostly dry, strangely), and an increasingly wet smell as i approached my home-place. upon exiting the freeway (with abysmally slow traffic due to as much the upcoming long weekend as the humidity and previous rain), i noticed that the air not only smelled wet, but it smelled like *rain*. it was warm, rain-smelling, and not at the moment raining, so i surmised that the rain had been moving eastward and only recently stopped falling at this place. arriving at my home-place, i met a friend of mine who had been waiting there, who had said to me that when he arrived only 10 minutes earlier, it was raining quite ferociously. as luck would have it, there were a few more light downpours on the way to dinner which led into a drizzle and eventually a completely clear sky (above us and westward) by the time we had finished dinner.
though i spent yesterday mostly alone at work and with a male friend, it was one of those days of beauty (warm spring showers!) that i wish i could share with a someone.
God says to me that i should re-evaluate my self-worth and my own impatience, but living in a human world... and an urban human world at that, makes life a little harder than is necessary. in fact, much harder than my previous life as a .... i should get into that another time. anyway, im sure god knows all of the details, or at least can intuit them. i understand his message as i understand seeing time in a long-viewed perspective, but as a single of the humans being, tearing myself away from the subjective and relative impressions of what is or should be or should be willed according to the human mind (the human collective unconscious) is quite difficult.
tl;dr: 1) woman-woman relationships are interesting, potential for higher highs and lower lows tha male-male counterparts. 2) yesterday was beautiful. spring showers are beautiful. beautiful women (girls?) to share things like this with are quite desireable. 3) god is cool, but it can be frustrating dealing with his timelines. he needs to send me his microsoft project (r) file so i get wtf is going on.
oh. and i saw "the forbidden kingdom" (i think thats the title). it wasnt great, but it wasnt bad. id recommend it as a fun movie to see.
reply, damn you.