oh, the power
a very good friend of mine said something mildly insulting and highly flattering the other day. apparently she was thinking about me without any pants on and she thought i was purposely directing her to think about that.... she said it was kind of embarrassing that she thought i was so awesome, and i believe it. darren brown is a pretty cool guy. i honestly dont have any such skill set, though if i did, i would be pretty proud of it. ill forget about the mild insult. :D
this weekend, i will be going to stanford while my friends are mostly in san jose getting their fanime on :( i miss fanime and im missing fanime and am super sad because they have insane-o guests this year. including a reprisal appearance by momoi~. urg. i just really really didnt want to be that guy that i met last year at fanime who goes to cons by himself and tells all the maid cafe maids that he takes care of his mom and can afford to fly to any convention any time of the year. barf. ... so i didnt plan to go alone and i didnt think anybody had room for me... im going to miss the fanimaid cafe too :((((( i LOVE those girls. (some of them are) so nice and friendly. i kind of wish i had more agressively asked around about room-space for the con. then i probably would have gone THERE instead. ;_;
facing a sort of dilemma. something to do with admission and allowance. probably some kind of typical, but it never feels like it. there are always so many things to consider. so many, so many. then theres the little voice that says "no, stop thinking. just DO IT. youre missing life in all that time you spend thinking about the *details*". i feel like the details matter a bit though. what if this? what if that? what if, what if, what if...... so i asked a friend of mine "what if?" and she said.... "wow, i never thought about it....", but of course, i was mostly expecting that. nobody has. not even me until ... this week, really. not thorougly. i made excuses for a long time not to think about things, and now there isnt any excuse, so torrential thought downpour is happening.
fortunately, or unfortunately, this weekend is a break of sorts. its a 3 day weekend and i have to be somewhere... and it seems that a lot of people have to be somewhere. postpone everything. another excuse. everybody leaves (the city, the country, etc). excuses abound.
i told myself to try to stop making them, though. working on it. always working to be better. someone once asked me what the point of that was if you can never be finished. i think i said that the point is just that youll never be finished. so many things to do, so many things postponed for being busy or tired. if i do them all, i will die. almost for sure. i just dont have the time or energy for everything immediately. but things are getting done. one by one. step by step a little at a time.
i ran my first 6 mile run (/jog) yesterday. it wasnt too bad. it really didnt feel like six miles. and it only took an hour with breaks for a cute slowpoke. i dont like running by myself, but with someone running near me, its fun. it feels like cooperative mode in a first person shooter.
im pretty tired and beginning to get incoherent, in part because today i was in a meeting for 6 hours of an 8 hr work day. and partly because im just super TIRED. its time to go to bed i think. had too much coffee... stomach not settled tonight :(
my friend applied to work at a clothing store. <3. she never wears girly clothes but now she might work for an asian boutique. im so happy for her. i hope she gets the job. and clothing discounts. amen.
ugh. stayed up too late. time to go. need to sleep, work, drive drive drive.... i hope i survive.
this weekend, i will be going to stanford while my friends are mostly in san jose getting their fanime on :( i miss fanime and im missing fanime and am super sad because they have insane-o guests this year. including a reprisal appearance by momoi~. urg. i just really really didnt want to be that guy that i met last year at fanime who goes to cons by himself and tells all the maid cafe maids that he takes care of his mom and can afford to fly to any convention any time of the year. barf. ... so i didnt plan to go alone and i didnt think anybody had room for me... im going to miss the fanimaid cafe too :((((( i LOVE those girls. (some of them are) so nice and friendly. i kind of wish i had more agressively asked around about room-space for the con. then i probably would have gone THERE instead. ;_;
facing a sort of dilemma. something to do with admission and allowance. probably some kind of typical, but it never feels like it. there are always so many things to consider. so many, so many. then theres the little voice that says "no, stop thinking. just DO IT. youre missing life in all that time you spend thinking about the *details*". i feel like the details matter a bit though. what if this? what if that? what if, what if, what if...... so i asked a friend of mine "what if?" and she said.... "wow, i never thought about it....", but of course, i was mostly expecting that. nobody has. not even me until ... this week, really. not thorougly. i made excuses for a long time not to think about things, and now there isnt any excuse, so torrential thought downpour is happening.
fortunately, or unfortunately, this weekend is a break of sorts. its a 3 day weekend and i have to be somewhere... and it seems that a lot of people have to be somewhere. postpone everything. another excuse. everybody leaves (the city, the country, etc). excuses abound.
i told myself to try to stop making them, though. working on it. always working to be better. someone once asked me what the point of that was if you can never be finished. i think i said that the point is just that youll never be finished. so many things to do, so many things postponed for being busy or tired. if i do them all, i will die. almost for sure. i just dont have the time or energy for everything immediately. but things are getting done. one by one. step by step a little at a time.
i ran my first 6 mile run (/jog) yesterday. it wasnt too bad. it really didnt feel like six miles. and it only took an hour with breaks for a cute slowpoke. i dont like running by myself, but with someone running near me, its fun. it feels like cooperative mode in a first person shooter.
im pretty tired and beginning to get incoherent, in part because today i was in a meeting for 6 hours of an 8 hr work day. and partly because im just super TIRED. its time to go to bed i think. had too much coffee... stomach not settled tonight :(
my friend applied to work at a clothing store. <3. she never wears girly clothes but now she might work for an asian boutique. im so happy for her. i hope she gets the job. and clothing discounts. amen.
ugh. stayed up too late. time to go. need to sleep, work, drive drive drive.... i hope i survive.