(no subject)
A writeup on why I play Anakin the way I do... as best as I can figure it, at least.
As we know from canon, Anakin is many things. He is arrogant, whiny, bitchy, moody, irritated, hardheaded, loyal, and passionate. However, in CFUD, many of these traits don't get the look-in that they probably should, and there are reasons for this, no matter how ambiguous.
Firstly, the issue of arrogance, I feel, was largely dealt with in the aftermath of Anakin's Sith incident. Anakin was completely horrified by what he'd done when he regained consciousness out in the woods. He wanted nothing more than to die for being such a failure to the Order, and to his friends. He's gotten over the majorly suicidal aspects of this, but he definitely hasn't forgotten what he did. It's severely shaken his belief that everything he does is the right thing to do, and even caused him to doubt his own abilities, to an extent. So when it comes to proclaiming that he's better than everyone else, he's far quieter and subdued than he used to be. He still thinks it sometimes, and you can be assured he'd be arrogant as all hell in a real fight, but he basically tries to shove that side of himself out of his mind.
The Anakin in the movies is, frankly, a whiner. He's always on about how it's not fair, that it's someone else's fault, that everyone's holding him back, etc. Why doesn't he do this in camp? Well, the way I figure it (and this is purely conjecture on my part), Anakin's whiny attitude stems from his odd induction into the Jedi Order. Jedi are usually trained from infancy... Anakin began his training at nine. I'm working on the assumption that this (coupled with that Chosen One business) created something of an unspoken wall between himself and his peers. He started later, he's more powerful, he's different. And Anakin knows it. So he whines at Obi-Wan a lot, because that's all he can do. In camp, though, everyone is on level footing. There are no preconceptions that he has to deal with. And he likes that fact, thus he's less inclined to whine and bitch at people, because he's actually making friends. He still gets a bit whiny when he thinks things are his fault and that someone's not listening, but not very often.
Anakin is egocentric. I think that's a universal truth. Everything, and I mean everything, is about him. This tends to make him misinterpret some things that people say, because he automatically looks at it from a selfish point of view. Athrun has told him on a couple of occasions that, "It's not always about you," and that's normally enough to burst his bubble... for a while. I don't think he even realises he's doing it, most of the time. He's the centre of his own universe, and that's that.
Slave angst. While I admit I may have been excessive in the slave angst aspect of his personality, I think there is definitely a basis for it. It wasn't shown too much in the films, but in some of the Star Wars novels, definitely, there is evidence that Anakin was beaten and abused when he was a slave. There is one line in the Revenge of the Sith novel that basically says he could take the most severe of beatings at the age of four without making a sound. Life was not as sunshiney-slavey as Phantom Menace made out. These instances may have been throwaway, but I like to incorporate them as the unsaid aspects of his childhood. Therefore, he has his moments of slave angst with some people. It's something that's never left him, and probably never will.
On the death of his mother and the Tusken camp. It's established that Anakin was devastated by his mother's death, and was blinded with rage, killing the entire population of the camp. It's also been shown that Anakin did not feel any remorse for the Raiders that he killed ("They were animals, and I slaughtered them like animals. I hate them.") However, I believe that he regrets having lost control and commiting such a horrendous act of murder, if that makes sense. He thinks they got what they deserved, but he doesn't like himself any better for it. It didn't make him feel better. It made him feel worse, empty. This is why he tends to skirt the issue whenever conversation comes near it, and why his Sith incident affected him so badly.
When it comes to the Jedi Code and its rules, Anakin clearly can't follow them the way he should. I'll just deal with the love and attachments issue here. Jedi, of course, are not supposed to form attachments, or love a single person. This leads to jealousy, hatred, anger, the Dark Side. It should be noted, though, that Anakin is hardly the only Jedi to have gone against the code in this respect. Obi-Wan, certainly, was very much attached to Anakin and loved him dearly. Mace Windu, also, loved the Republic. In any case, forming attachments is something that Anakin shouldn't do. At first, he didn't intend to do any such thing, either. Since he was under the impression that this would be a short reconnaisance mission, he kept a certain distance between himself and others for a while. After a while, though, he found himself forming friendships and alliances that he hadn't expected. And with friendship comes attachment. By now, Anakin has pretty much given up on trying to distance himself from everyone in the camp emotionally, since he knows it doesn't work. He has moments, however, when he wonders just what the hell he's doing, and how far he's fallen from his teachings. His deep commitment to and dependency on Athrun, especially, causes him a certain deal of angst and misgivings if he lets himself think about it too much. He's no longer certain if what he's doing is right or wrong.
As to Athrun, he deserves his own section in this. It's fair to say that Anakin likes Athrun a lot, and in more ways than just plain friendship. Since Anakin's married and completely devoted to Padme, this makes Anakin extremely uncomfortable and confused at times. The way I see it, Anakin has no idea what love is really meant to be like, whether it's exclusive or not, or how to handle having affections for someone other than his wife. The fact that Athrun is a man doesn't come into play at all, since I think just loving at all is wrong for Anakin, so whether he loves a man or a woman he's screwed. In any case, since Cagalli's arrival, Anakin has relegated his latent attraction to Athrun to the back of his mind. He finds it less stressful that way, and less confusing.
May be continued later.
As we know from canon, Anakin is many things. He is arrogant, whiny, bitchy, moody, irritated, hardheaded, loyal, and passionate. However, in CFUD, many of these traits don't get the look-in that they probably should, and there are reasons for this, no matter how ambiguous.
Firstly, the issue of arrogance, I feel, was largely dealt with in the aftermath of Anakin's Sith incident. Anakin was completely horrified by what he'd done when he regained consciousness out in the woods. He wanted nothing more than to die for being such a failure to the Order, and to his friends. He's gotten over the majorly suicidal aspects of this, but he definitely hasn't forgotten what he did. It's severely shaken his belief that everything he does is the right thing to do, and even caused him to doubt his own abilities, to an extent. So when it comes to proclaiming that he's better than everyone else, he's far quieter and subdued than he used to be. He still thinks it sometimes, and you can be assured he'd be arrogant as all hell in a real fight, but he basically tries to shove that side of himself out of his mind.
The Anakin in the movies is, frankly, a whiner. He's always on about how it's not fair, that it's someone else's fault, that everyone's holding him back, etc. Why doesn't he do this in camp? Well, the way I figure it (and this is purely conjecture on my part), Anakin's whiny attitude stems from his odd induction into the Jedi Order. Jedi are usually trained from infancy... Anakin began his training at nine. I'm working on the assumption that this (coupled with that Chosen One business) created something of an unspoken wall between himself and his peers. He started later, he's more powerful, he's different. And Anakin knows it. So he whines at Obi-Wan a lot, because that's all he can do. In camp, though, everyone is on level footing. There are no preconceptions that he has to deal with. And he likes that fact, thus he's less inclined to whine and bitch at people, because he's actually making friends. He still gets a bit whiny when he thinks things are his fault and that someone's not listening, but not very often.
Anakin is egocentric. I think that's a universal truth. Everything, and I mean everything, is about him. This tends to make him misinterpret some things that people say, because he automatically looks at it from a selfish point of view. Athrun has told him on a couple of occasions that, "It's not always about you," and that's normally enough to burst his bubble... for a while. I don't think he even realises he's doing it, most of the time. He's the centre of his own universe, and that's that.
Slave angst. While I admit I may have been excessive in the slave angst aspect of his personality, I think there is definitely a basis for it. It wasn't shown too much in the films, but in some of the Star Wars novels, definitely, there is evidence that Anakin was beaten and abused when he was a slave. There is one line in the Revenge of the Sith novel that basically says he could take the most severe of beatings at the age of four without making a sound. Life was not as sunshiney-slavey as Phantom Menace made out. These instances may have been throwaway, but I like to incorporate them as the unsaid aspects of his childhood. Therefore, he has his moments of slave angst with some people. It's something that's never left him, and probably never will.
On the death of his mother and the Tusken camp. It's established that Anakin was devastated by his mother's death, and was blinded with rage, killing the entire population of the camp. It's also been shown that Anakin did not feel any remorse for the Raiders that he killed ("They were animals, and I slaughtered them like animals. I hate them.") However, I believe that he regrets having lost control and commiting such a horrendous act of murder, if that makes sense. He thinks they got what they deserved, but he doesn't like himself any better for it. It didn't make him feel better. It made him feel worse, empty. This is why he tends to skirt the issue whenever conversation comes near it, and why his Sith incident affected him so badly.
When it comes to the Jedi Code and its rules, Anakin clearly can't follow them the way he should. I'll just deal with the love and attachments issue here. Jedi, of course, are not supposed to form attachments, or love a single person. This leads to jealousy, hatred, anger, the Dark Side. It should be noted, though, that Anakin is hardly the only Jedi to have gone against the code in this respect. Obi-Wan, certainly, was very much attached to Anakin and loved him dearly. Mace Windu, also, loved the Republic. In any case, forming attachments is something that Anakin shouldn't do. At first, he didn't intend to do any such thing, either. Since he was under the impression that this would be a short reconnaisance mission, he kept a certain distance between himself and others for a while. After a while, though, he found himself forming friendships and alliances that he hadn't expected. And with friendship comes attachment. By now, Anakin has pretty much given up on trying to distance himself from everyone in the camp emotionally, since he knows it doesn't work. He has moments, however, when he wonders just what the hell he's doing, and how far he's fallen from his teachings. His deep commitment to and dependency on Athrun, especially, causes him a certain deal of angst and misgivings if he lets himself think about it too much. He's no longer certain if what he's doing is right or wrong.
As to Athrun, he deserves his own section in this. It's fair to say that Anakin likes Athrun a lot, and in more ways than just plain friendship. Since Anakin's married and completely devoted to Padme, this makes Anakin extremely uncomfortable and confused at times. The way I see it, Anakin has no idea what love is really meant to be like, whether it's exclusive or not, or how to handle having affections for someone other than his wife. The fact that Athrun is a man doesn't come into play at all, since I think just loving at all is wrong for Anakin, so whether he loves a man or a woman he's screwed. In any case, since Cagalli's arrival, Anakin has relegated his latent attraction to Athrun to the back of his mind. He finds it less stressful that way, and less confusing.
May be continued later.