Highlander/Firefly Crossover Part 5/?
Part 5 of my Highlander/Firefly Crossover, which you can read from the beginning starting here. This is my first foray into the world of Mal Reynolds et al, so I brought Richie and Methos along for the ride. Yes I know that makes this denial so I apologise to any purists but he's my puppy and I love him. ;p
It isn't slash and I hope it isn't OOC at any point.
Any and all comments gratefully received, just try not to be too cruel.
I don't own Highlander or Firefly or any of the characters that you recognise, I'm just partying with them for a while and I promise to clean up after myself.
Once more I am indebted to the ever wonderful
jinxed_wood for her help as beta.
Browncoats and Scabbards 5
“Just once,” Mal commented. “I’d like it if things went to plan. Just once, is that too much to ask?”
“Don’t ask me sir, I always assume the worst,” Zoe replied. They were both currently running for their lives, heading back to Serenity, and away from the crazed mob of townsfolk giving chase. “Especially when Jayne’s around.”
“Hey! How was I supposed to know she was fifteen?” Jayne asked, puffing. “She sure looked older.”
“That’s beside the point. Don’t you understand the words low profile? How’re we meant to rob a place when you’re busy stirring up a hornet’s nest with the mayor’s daughter?” Mal asked.
“You put me on reconnaissance. I was reconnoitring.”
“I swear, if we get out of here alive, I’m gonna chop it off and put it out the nearest airlock,” Mal snapped back. He spoke into his com, “Little Albatross, any chance you could dust off, maybe come pick us up?” He sounded casual, but there was an obvious urgency in the request.
“Sure thing, we’ll be there in two shakes of a lamb’s tail,” came back the response.
“Kaylee? What the hell are you doing in the cockpit? Where’s River?” Mal demanded.
“Don’t worry, everything’s shiny, we’ll be there real soon,” Kaylee replied, but there was a note of panic in her voice that didn’t inspire confidence in Mal. Any further worrying was pushed to the back of his mind, however, as a shot zinged past his ear.
“Aiya!” he cursed. He turned his head and began firing behind him, whilst still running. Zoe and Jayne were also firing at their pursuers. “Try and aim high. I don’t reckon we need to be killing any of these good townspeople just cos Jayne can’t keep his pecker in his pants.”
“Yes, sir,” Zoe replied.
“Jayne? Dong ma, Jayne?”
“Awright, I hear you! Although you’re fohng luh; they’re trying to kill us!”
“Well, I reckon they got cause, so shut up and run!”
Serenity chose that moment to fly overhead and land, rather ungracefully, a few hundred metres away.
“About time,” Jayne grumbled as the three made a beeline for the opening cargo ramp.
Once inside, Jayne and Zoe stood at the end of the ramp, providing covering fire, as Mal contacted the cockpit and gave the order to dust off. Without pausing for confirmation from the pilot or to draw breath, he headed for the cockpit. Jayne and Zoe waited as the cargo bay door closed, and then followed the captain.
“Would someone kindly tell me what the hell is going on in my gorram ship?” Mal demanded, storming into the cockpit.
Kaylee looked at him sheepishly from behind the controls.
“Everything’s shiny,” she replied, “River just fainted is all. Simon’s looking at her now.”
“She fainted? Well, what she go and do that for?” Mal snapped before turning sharply on his heel and heading to the infirmary.
“Don’t think she had much say in it,” Kaylee muttered to his retreating back.
“Take over the controls,” Mal barked at Zoe, as he passed her and Jayne in the corridor.
“What do you reckon that was about?” Jayne asked.
“I reckon I’m going to do as the captain ordered and mind my own gorram business,” Zoe retorted.
“Well, he didn’t order me to do anything.”
“Then I’m ordering you to go away and keep your nose out. Captain will let us know what’s happening if, and when, he sees fit,” Zoe replied. Jayne saluted sarcastically and stomped off toward the galley.
Down in the infirmary, Simon was examining a nasty bruise on River’s forehead when Mal came bursting in.
“What, in the hell, happened?” Mal asked, before he was even through the door.
“I don’t know. She’s okay, by the way, thanks for asking,” Simon replied. “Small contusion to the forehead, but that’s all. As to what caused the collapse? I have no idea. She’s in perfect health.”
Suddenly, River started forward and looked between the two men frantically.
“The lightning! Richie!” she cried.
“Perfect health?” Mal asked, dubiously, “You sure she ain’t got a concussion?”
“She was like this before she hit her head. I don’t know what caused it,” Simon admitted reluctantly.
“If she’s gonna become a babbling fool, she ain’t no use to me. She’s your sister, I reckon you ought’a figure out what’s going on in that head o’hers, ‘fore she becomes dangerous again. That happens; I won’t be able to stop Jayne putting a hole in her head. Dong ma?” Mal said.
Simon nodded, biting back the insult on his lips. Getting Mal riled wouldn’t help the situation. Mal left them, and Simon turned to his sister.
“River, it’s me, Simon. Please, tell me what’s happening.”
“I know who you are. I’m not stupid, or funny in the head,” she replied, matter of fact.
“No, of course you aren’t. What is all this about? What made you faint?”
“They’re in danger, but it’s okay. We’ll help them and they’ll help us,” River answered.
“Who?” Simon asked.
“You’ll see,” she replied, with a smile, “I’m all better now, can I go back?”
“No more fainting?”
“No more fainting, no more silly talk. Scout’s honour,” she said with a giggle. Simon looked at her curiously.
“Pardon?”
“Nothing,” she said, in a sing song voice. Before Simon could stop her, she had hopped from the table and left the room.
Mal eyed River suspiciously as she entered the cockpit, but he didn’t say anything as she took the controls of Serenity. He watched her from the corner of his eye for a little while, though.
“Don’t worry. This isn’t like before, and I’m not crazy,” River said with a smile.
“Damn, Little Albatross, it’s kinda creepy when you do that.”
“I know,” River replied. Mal smiled and shook his head at her answer. “You should tell the others where we’re going. Don’t have to ask, you’re the Captain, but it would be rude not to tell them,” she added.
Mal thought about this for a moment, then flicked the com switch.
“Ship’s meeting in ten,” he said. River looked at him, slightly puzzled. “First I have to use the head,” Mal explained, as he got up and left.
Ten minutes later, Mal strode into the mess to find his crew seated at the table.
“Everyone here?” he asked.
“All ‘cept River,” Zoe replied.
“She knows what I’m about to say anyways, so that’s fine. So, basically, that last job went all to hell, leaving us without a proverbial pot,” Mal declared. He looked at his crew, waiting for the inevitable shit-storm. To his surprise, it didn’t arrive.
“So what now, Captain?” Zoe asked.
“What now? Now we go to one of the moons we never visited. I say we try our luck.”
“I’m sorry, did I just hear you right? Did I hear him right, Zoe?” Jayne sputtered.
“Hush, Jayne. Captain’s got his reasons,” Zoe said.
“Well, let’s hear ‘em then.”
“I reckon we’re outta options. We done used up every favour we got owing; every contact is either dead, in prison or looking to turn us over to the Alliance. We’ve not had a decent payout since we dropped off that cargo, and the money from those two passengers dried up weeks ago. We have maybe a week ‘fore fuel runs out and we’re dead in the sky.”
“But you said we would never leave it to luck, what with our luck being so consistently lousy an’ all.”
“That I did, Jayne, but I reckon any port in a storm, and right now we’re being tossed around by a monsoon.”
“Huh?”
“We got no choice.”
“Oh. Coulda just said that.” Jayne muttered. Zoe slapped his arm.
“Where’d you learn a word like consistently, anyhow?” she asked. Jayne shrugged. “Captain, perhaps we could try…”
“If the next word outta your mouth was gonna be Inara, you better rethink that sentence.”
“…Lilac. I was going to suggest we hit Lilac again.”
“Well, that’s almost as crazy,” Jayne said.
“Captain said we’re running out of options. Could be a big fat Alliance payday just sitting there for the taking.”
“If the Reavers didn’t wipe them out,” Mal pointed out.
“That’s exactly my point,” Zoe said. “Reavers ain’t interested in money, so they wouldn’t touch the payroll. If the colony’s still there, it’s a plain old bank job, but if it ain’t, we just stroll in and help ourselves to a heap of cash.”
“Plus, if the Reavers think there’s nothing left there, they would be unlikely to come back,” Simon reasoned. Mal looked thoughtfully between them.
“You’re not seriously considering this shiong mao niao? Jien tah-duh guay!”
“Bizui, Jayne. You’re actually making kinda sense, Zoe. Which is worrying, cos it probably means I’m all kinds of crazy.”
*_*
A few hours later, Serenity neared Lilac, River at the controls, and Kaylee keeping her company, when a light flashed on the console in front of them. Kaylee examined her monitor before contacting Mal.
“Captain? I think you ought’a come up here. Got a wave coming through, looks like a distress call.” River began piloting Serenity toward the source of the distress call. “What are you thinking, River? Captain’s gonna be awful mad. Might be an Alliance trap.”
“No. It’s the old ones. They need us,” River answered, before putting more power to the engines. At that moment, Mal entered.
“Where the hell is she going? And why is she taking us there faster! River, stop!” Mal shouted. River ignored him, so he waved Kaylee out of the co-pilot chair, grabbed the controls and tried to wrestle them away from River. She was too strong, and so Mal contacted the infirmary. “Simon! Get up here now, your sister is going crazy!”
“Run-tse duh fwotzoo…”Kaylee whispered. Mal looked up and followed her gaze.
“Kao!” he exclaimed. Ahead of them, a small Alliance shuttle was losing a battle against two Reaver ships. “River, we’re not doing this. We can’t take on them Reavers, dong ma? We have to go.”
“No. It will be okay,” she answered. At that moment, Simon arrived, panting, from the infirmary.
“Simon, do something, your fohng luh sister is gonna get us all killed!” Mal barked at him. Simon looked from him to River, to the scene in front of them. He nodded, but before he could do anything, Kaylee gasped.
“Where’s the second ship gone?” she asked, frantic. Mal scanned the black in front of them, then pointed.
“There, one o’clock. They must have spotted us. Aiya! Well done Little Albatross, you might have just killed us all.”
Continues in Part 6
Translations:
aiya - Damn!
bizui - shut up!
dong ma? - understand?
fohng luh - loopy in the head
jien tah-duh guay - like hell!
kao - fuck
Run-tse duh fwotzoo - merciful Buddha
shiong mao niao - panda urine
It isn't slash and I hope it isn't OOC at any point.
Any and all comments gratefully received, just try not to be too cruel.
I don't own Highlander or Firefly or any of the characters that you recognise, I'm just partying with them for a while and I promise to clean up after myself.
Once more I am indebted to the ever wonderful
jinxed_wood for her help as beta.
Browncoats and Scabbards 5
“Just once,” Mal commented. “I’d like it if things went to plan. Just once, is that too much to ask?”
“Don’t ask me sir, I always assume the worst,” Zoe replied. They were both currently running for their lives, heading back to Serenity, and away from the crazed mob of townsfolk giving chase. “Especially when Jayne’s around.”
“Hey! How was I supposed to know she was fifteen?” Jayne asked, puffing. “She sure looked older.”
“That’s beside the point. Don’t you understand the words low profile? How’re we meant to rob a place when you’re busy stirring up a hornet’s nest with the mayor’s daughter?” Mal asked.
“You put me on reconnaissance. I was reconnoitring.”
“I swear, if we get out of here alive, I’m gonna chop it off and put it out the nearest airlock,” Mal snapped back. He spoke into his com, “Little Albatross, any chance you could dust off, maybe come pick us up?” He sounded casual, but there was an obvious urgency in the request.
“Sure thing, we’ll be there in two shakes of a lamb’s tail,” came back the response.
“Kaylee? What the hell are you doing in the cockpit? Where’s River?” Mal demanded.
“Don’t worry, everything’s shiny, we’ll be there real soon,” Kaylee replied, but there was a note of panic in her voice that didn’t inspire confidence in Mal. Any further worrying was pushed to the back of his mind, however, as a shot zinged past his ear.
“Aiya!” he cursed. He turned his head and began firing behind him, whilst still running. Zoe and Jayne were also firing at their pursuers. “Try and aim high. I don’t reckon we need to be killing any of these good townspeople just cos Jayne can’t keep his pecker in his pants.”
“Yes, sir,” Zoe replied.
“Jayne? Dong ma, Jayne?”
“Awright, I hear you! Although you’re fohng luh; they’re trying to kill us!”
“Well, I reckon they got cause, so shut up and run!”
Serenity chose that moment to fly overhead and land, rather ungracefully, a few hundred metres away.
“About time,” Jayne grumbled as the three made a beeline for the opening cargo ramp.
Once inside, Jayne and Zoe stood at the end of the ramp, providing covering fire, as Mal contacted the cockpit and gave the order to dust off. Without pausing for confirmation from the pilot or to draw breath, he headed for the cockpit. Jayne and Zoe waited as the cargo bay door closed, and then followed the captain.
“Would someone kindly tell me what the hell is going on in my gorram ship?” Mal demanded, storming into the cockpit.
Kaylee looked at him sheepishly from behind the controls.
“Everything’s shiny,” she replied, “River just fainted is all. Simon’s looking at her now.”
“She fainted? Well, what she go and do that for?” Mal snapped before turning sharply on his heel and heading to the infirmary.
“Don’t think she had much say in it,” Kaylee muttered to his retreating back.
“Take over the controls,” Mal barked at Zoe, as he passed her and Jayne in the corridor.
“What do you reckon that was about?” Jayne asked.
“I reckon I’m going to do as the captain ordered and mind my own gorram business,” Zoe retorted.
“Well, he didn’t order me to do anything.”
“Then I’m ordering you to go away and keep your nose out. Captain will let us know what’s happening if, and when, he sees fit,” Zoe replied. Jayne saluted sarcastically and stomped off toward the galley.
Down in the infirmary, Simon was examining a nasty bruise on River’s forehead when Mal came bursting in.
“What, in the hell, happened?” Mal asked, before he was even through the door.
“I don’t know. She’s okay, by the way, thanks for asking,” Simon replied. “Small contusion to the forehead, but that’s all. As to what caused the collapse? I have no idea. She’s in perfect health.”
Suddenly, River started forward and looked between the two men frantically.
“The lightning! Richie!” she cried.
“Perfect health?” Mal asked, dubiously, “You sure she ain’t got a concussion?”
“She was like this before she hit her head. I don’t know what caused it,” Simon admitted reluctantly.
“If she’s gonna become a babbling fool, she ain’t no use to me. She’s your sister, I reckon you ought’a figure out what’s going on in that head o’hers, ‘fore she becomes dangerous again. That happens; I won’t be able to stop Jayne putting a hole in her head. Dong ma?” Mal said.
Simon nodded, biting back the insult on his lips. Getting Mal riled wouldn’t help the situation. Mal left them, and Simon turned to his sister.
“River, it’s me, Simon. Please, tell me what’s happening.”
“I know who you are. I’m not stupid, or funny in the head,” she replied, matter of fact.
“No, of course you aren’t. What is all this about? What made you faint?”
“They’re in danger, but it’s okay. We’ll help them and they’ll help us,” River answered.
“Who?” Simon asked.
“You’ll see,” she replied, with a smile, “I’m all better now, can I go back?”
“No more fainting?”
“No more fainting, no more silly talk. Scout’s honour,” she said with a giggle. Simon looked at her curiously.
“Pardon?”
“Nothing,” she said, in a sing song voice. Before Simon could stop her, she had hopped from the table and left the room.
Mal eyed River suspiciously as she entered the cockpit, but he didn’t say anything as she took the controls of Serenity. He watched her from the corner of his eye for a little while, though.
“Don’t worry. This isn’t like before, and I’m not crazy,” River said with a smile.
“Damn, Little Albatross, it’s kinda creepy when you do that.”
“I know,” River replied. Mal smiled and shook his head at her answer. “You should tell the others where we’re going. Don’t have to ask, you’re the Captain, but it would be rude not to tell them,” she added.
Mal thought about this for a moment, then flicked the com switch.
“Ship’s meeting in ten,” he said. River looked at him, slightly puzzled. “First I have to use the head,” Mal explained, as he got up and left.
Ten minutes later, Mal strode into the mess to find his crew seated at the table.
“Everyone here?” he asked.
“All ‘cept River,” Zoe replied.
“She knows what I’m about to say anyways, so that’s fine. So, basically, that last job went all to hell, leaving us without a proverbial pot,” Mal declared. He looked at his crew, waiting for the inevitable shit-storm. To his surprise, it didn’t arrive.
“So what now, Captain?” Zoe asked.
“What now? Now we go to one of the moons we never visited. I say we try our luck.”
“I’m sorry, did I just hear you right? Did I hear him right, Zoe?” Jayne sputtered.
“Hush, Jayne. Captain’s got his reasons,” Zoe said.
“Well, let’s hear ‘em then.”
“I reckon we’re outta options. We done used up every favour we got owing; every contact is either dead, in prison or looking to turn us over to the Alliance. We’ve not had a decent payout since we dropped off that cargo, and the money from those two passengers dried up weeks ago. We have maybe a week ‘fore fuel runs out and we’re dead in the sky.”
“But you said we would never leave it to luck, what with our luck being so consistently lousy an’ all.”
“That I did, Jayne, but I reckon any port in a storm, and right now we’re being tossed around by a monsoon.”
“Huh?”
“We got no choice.”
“Oh. Coulda just said that.” Jayne muttered. Zoe slapped his arm.
“Where’d you learn a word like consistently, anyhow?” she asked. Jayne shrugged. “Captain, perhaps we could try…”
“If the next word outta your mouth was gonna be Inara, you better rethink that sentence.”
“…Lilac. I was going to suggest we hit Lilac again.”
“Well, that’s almost as crazy,” Jayne said.
“Captain said we’re running out of options. Could be a big fat Alliance payday just sitting there for the taking.”
“If the Reavers didn’t wipe them out,” Mal pointed out.
“That’s exactly my point,” Zoe said. “Reavers ain’t interested in money, so they wouldn’t touch the payroll. If the colony’s still there, it’s a plain old bank job, but if it ain’t, we just stroll in and help ourselves to a heap of cash.”
“Plus, if the Reavers think there’s nothing left there, they would be unlikely to come back,” Simon reasoned. Mal looked thoughtfully between them.
“You’re not seriously considering this shiong mao niao? Jien tah-duh guay!”
“Bizui, Jayne. You’re actually making kinda sense, Zoe. Which is worrying, cos it probably means I’m all kinds of crazy.”
*_*
A few hours later, Serenity neared Lilac, River at the controls, and Kaylee keeping her company, when a light flashed on the console in front of them. Kaylee examined her monitor before contacting Mal.
“Captain? I think you ought’a come up here. Got a wave coming through, looks like a distress call.” River began piloting Serenity toward the source of the distress call. “What are you thinking, River? Captain’s gonna be awful mad. Might be an Alliance trap.”
“No. It’s the old ones. They need us,” River answered, before putting more power to the engines. At that moment, Mal entered.
“Where the hell is she going? And why is she taking us there faster! River, stop!” Mal shouted. River ignored him, so he waved Kaylee out of the co-pilot chair, grabbed the controls and tried to wrestle them away from River. She was too strong, and so Mal contacted the infirmary. “Simon! Get up here now, your sister is going crazy!”
“Run-tse duh fwotzoo…”Kaylee whispered. Mal looked up and followed her gaze.
“Kao!” he exclaimed. Ahead of them, a small Alliance shuttle was losing a battle against two Reaver ships. “River, we’re not doing this. We can’t take on them Reavers, dong ma? We have to go.”
“No. It will be okay,” she answered. At that moment, Simon arrived, panting, from the infirmary.
“Simon, do something, your fohng luh sister is gonna get us all killed!” Mal barked at him. Simon looked from him to River, to the scene in front of them. He nodded, but before he could do anything, Kaylee gasped.
“Where’s the second ship gone?” she asked, frantic. Mal scanned the black in front of them, then pointed.
“There, one o’clock. They must have spotted us. Aiya! Well done Little Albatross, you might have just killed us all.”
Continues in Part 6
Translations:
aiya - Damn!
bizui - shut up!
dong ma? - understand?
fohng luh - loopy in the head
jien tah-duh guay - like hell!
kao - fuck
Run-tse duh fwotzoo - merciful Buddha
shiong mao niao - panda urine