Pet Peeve
Title: Pet Peeve
Author: idontgiveafaux
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Prompt: Feather
Word Count: 1400
Summary: Harry makes a purchase and Draco isn’t pleased…
Warnings: (at your discretion) Language, a little animal cruelty (not graphic or prolonged)
Notes: Birthday gift!fic for ravenpan x
Draco hated the revolting thing the first time he laid eyes on it. He had looked up from the magazine he was reading in disgust when Harry arrived back home that afternoon. Harry looked as pleased as punch as he placed a cage with a green sheet draped over it on the table proudly in front of where Draco was sat on the sofa.
“I hope that’s not what I think it is,” Draco had said. Harry had simply grinned and Draco threw his magazine on the floor. “I told you I didn’t want that thing in the house,” he snarled. He and Harry had passed by a pet shop a couple of days earlier. Harry had dragged Draco in and Draco had pinched his nose and only took in small breaths of air whenever he utterly needed to - the smell in the shop was making him nauseous. Harry chatted away eagerly with the owner about this animal and that animal while Draco kept his eyes firmly fixated on the floor, finally bolting from the shop after he couldn’t stand much more and ran out into the street where he took in grateful gasps of fresh air. Harry came out ten minutes later and told him of his plan. Draco had downright refused.
Which is why, when Harry arrived home with that stupid grin plastered all over his face, Draco had at once knew what he had brought with him and when he removed the sheet from the cage with a flourish, Draco was not at all surprised to see a parrot staring back at him. Draco had asked him why he was so intent on getting a parrot on the walk home from the shop and why couldn’t he just get another owl instead and Harry had clammed up and muttered under his breath about not wanting to replace something or other.
“His name is Roger,” said Harry.
“Roger the parrot,” Draco snorted and then winced when Roger started ruffling his feathers and gnawed at the bars on the cage. Harry just smiled.
“I love him,” he said affectionately.
“I don’t,” snapped Draco. “I think it’s ugly and annoying and if it’s not out of here by tonight then I will be.”
“Where am I meant to take him?”
“Throw it out on the streets. Flush it down the toilet for all I care.”
Harry looked horrified. “You really are a heartless brat, Draco.”
“Heartless brat! Heartless brat!” Roger repeated loudly. Harry laughed hysterically while Draco switched between glaring at him and the parrot, not knowing which one of them he hated more at this precise moment.
“Can’t you tell it to shut up?” yelled Draco angrily. He was curled up on the sofa, pointedly facing away from Harry to punish him for not even attempting to pretend that he was going to get rid of the dirty beast and trying to watch his favourite television programme. Harry normally watched with him, but he was too busy over the other side of the room, marvelling at the clever tricks Roger was doing, which was nothing more than walking up and down the perch in his cage and banging his beak against the bars, a nasty twinkle in his eye when he did so that Harry couldn’t see but Draco swore that he could.
“He’s just getting used to his new surroundings,” Harry explained.
“Well tell it to get used to them quieter,” Draco replied and after a particularly loud bang followed by some cackling laughter from Roger, he picked up one of Harry’s stray trainers and flung it at the cage, causing him to squawk loudly.
“Draco!” Harry yelled angrily as Roger started to work himself into a frenzy, pacing up and down his perch quicker.
“Well tell it to shut up then!” Draco retorted. “It’s doing it on purpose because it knows it annoys me.”
Harry replied by flicking his wand and at his command all the doors and windows in the first floor living room slammed shut.
“What are you?” Draco began, and then shook his head furiously when Harry started to fiddle with the latch on the cage door. “Don’t you fucking dare -” and then he let out a blood curdling scream as Roger ruffled his feathers, spread his wings and then flew into the air before nosediving straight towards him. “Get it AWAY from me!” he yelled, ducking and dodging the wretched bird while it swooped and soared above him with screeching triumphant squawks before it landed neatly on Harry’s shoulder.
“It’s not going to hurt you, you big baby!”
“You big baby! You big baby!” Roger squawked on cue, beady eyes glinting mockingly at Draco, or at least that’s what Draco said when they were in bed that night. He could still hear the loud noises from the cage downstairs and he was determined to do something about it.
“Just getting a drink of water,” he said moodily, swinging his legs out of bed.
“Can you get me one too?” Harry said sleepily. Draco sighed loudly, making sure his disapproval of having to do a favour for his boyfriend when he was furious with him was well registered to Harry, when an idea came to him and a small smile crept over his face.
“Sure.”
Harry was out for the count thanks to a temporary sleeping potion from his secret stash (that Draco didn’t see so much as manipulation, they just nudged Harry in the right direction to make their relationship work for the better) and Draco was free to carry out his plan. He crept downstairs and into the living room where the cage was still sat like a centrepiece on the table with a blanket over it. So he’ll sleep better, Harry had explained earlier, to which Draco had yawned rudely.
He yanked the blanket from the cage and then shook it with both hands aggressively, causing Roger to nearly fall to the floor of his cage. “Wake up you stupid thing,” Draco spat and then smirked when he seemed fully awake and stared back at him with unblinking beady little eyes. “One of us isn’t going to be here by tomorrow morning. And I’m planning on having Harry bring me breakfast in bed. You on the other hand are having your breakfast now. An entire weeks worth!”
Draco awoke next morning to the sounds of Harry yelling from downstairs. He yawned and stretched gracefully before catching sight of the sunshine through the window. It looked like a glorious morning and, if his plan went accordingly (and the yells were almost certain it did), it was going to be a glorious afternoon too. He rolled out of bed and shuffled his feet into slippers before making his way downstairs and into the living room. It almost killed him not to laugh at the scene that lay before his eyes. He certainly hadn’t expected his plan to go this well and he mentally congratulated himself for hastily grabbing a couple of Harry’s best suits and draping them over the sofa as the potion began to wear off last night.
“Oh Harry,” said Draco in faux horror. “Did Roger do all this?” He indicated the formerly black living room that was now black and white, randomly dotted with huge clumps of bird shit, most of it congregated on Harry’s suits (that’s where he had placed the most seeds.)
“I thought I locked the cage!” cried Harry. “And the guy at the shop didn’t say that they shit this much!”
“Well he probably managed to unlock the door,” Draco explained gently. “And he was a little on the porky side Harry, perhaps he was just retaining his food until he got used to his surroundings, like you said yesterday.” Harry looked dejected and Draco pulled him into a hug. “Why don’t you go and take Roger back to the shop and I’ll get this mess cleaned up. I mean, we can’t exactly go through this every morning, can we?”
Harry shrugged in moody defeat and adjusted the blanket so it hid all the light from the cage.
“I’ll run you a nice hot bath for when you return after your stressful morning,” Draco continued warmly, raising his voice so he was sure that the parrot was listening. “And then afterwards we can have breakfast in bed. Bye Roger, I’ll miss you!”
Author: idontgiveafaux
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Prompt: Feather
Word Count: 1400
Summary: Harry makes a purchase and Draco isn’t pleased…
Warnings: (at your discretion) Language, a little animal cruelty (not graphic or prolonged)
Notes: Birthday gift!fic for ravenpan x
Draco hated the revolting thing the first time he laid eyes on it. He had looked up from the magazine he was reading in disgust when Harry arrived back home that afternoon. Harry looked as pleased as punch as he placed a cage with a green sheet draped over it on the table proudly in front of where Draco was sat on the sofa.
“I hope that’s not what I think it is,” Draco had said. Harry had simply grinned and Draco threw his magazine on the floor. “I told you I didn’t want that thing in the house,” he snarled. He and Harry had passed by a pet shop a couple of days earlier. Harry had dragged Draco in and Draco had pinched his nose and only took in small breaths of air whenever he utterly needed to - the smell in the shop was making him nauseous. Harry chatted away eagerly with the owner about this animal and that animal while Draco kept his eyes firmly fixated on the floor, finally bolting from the shop after he couldn’t stand much more and ran out into the street where he took in grateful gasps of fresh air. Harry came out ten minutes later and told him of his plan. Draco had downright refused.
Which is why, when Harry arrived home with that stupid grin plastered all over his face, Draco had at once knew what he had brought with him and when he removed the sheet from the cage with a flourish, Draco was not at all surprised to see a parrot staring back at him. Draco had asked him why he was so intent on getting a parrot on the walk home from the shop and why couldn’t he just get another owl instead and Harry had clammed up and muttered under his breath about not wanting to replace something or other.
“His name is Roger,” said Harry.
“Roger the parrot,” Draco snorted and then winced when Roger started ruffling his feathers and gnawed at the bars on the cage. Harry just smiled.
“I love him,” he said affectionately.
“I don’t,” snapped Draco. “I think it’s ugly and annoying and if it’s not out of here by tonight then I will be.”
“Where am I meant to take him?”
“Throw it out on the streets. Flush it down the toilet for all I care.”
Harry looked horrified. “You really are a heartless brat, Draco.”
“Heartless brat! Heartless brat!” Roger repeated loudly. Harry laughed hysterically while Draco switched between glaring at him and the parrot, not knowing which one of them he hated more at this precise moment.
“Can’t you tell it to shut up?” yelled Draco angrily. He was curled up on the sofa, pointedly facing away from Harry to punish him for not even attempting to pretend that he was going to get rid of the dirty beast and trying to watch his favourite television programme. Harry normally watched with him, but he was too busy over the other side of the room, marvelling at the clever tricks Roger was doing, which was nothing more than walking up and down the perch in his cage and banging his beak against the bars, a nasty twinkle in his eye when he did so that Harry couldn’t see but Draco swore that he could.
“He’s just getting used to his new surroundings,” Harry explained.
“Well tell it to get used to them quieter,” Draco replied and after a particularly loud bang followed by some cackling laughter from Roger, he picked up one of Harry’s stray trainers and flung it at the cage, causing him to squawk loudly.
“Draco!” Harry yelled angrily as Roger started to work himself into a frenzy, pacing up and down his perch quicker.
“Well tell it to shut up then!” Draco retorted. “It’s doing it on purpose because it knows it annoys me.”
Harry replied by flicking his wand and at his command all the doors and windows in the first floor living room slammed shut.
“What are you?” Draco began, and then shook his head furiously when Harry started to fiddle with the latch on the cage door. “Don’t you fucking dare -” and then he let out a blood curdling scream as Roger ruffled his feathers, spread his wings and then flew into the air before nosediving straight towards him. “Get it AWAY from me!” he yelled, ducking and dodging the wretched bird while it swooped and soared above him with screeching triumphant squawks before it landed neatly on Harry’s shoulder.
“It’s not going to hurt you, you big baby!”
“You big baby! You big baby!” Roger squawked on cue, beady eyes glinting mockingly at Draco, or at least that’s what Draco said when they were in bed that night. He could still hear the loud noises from the cage downstairs and he was determined to do something about it.
“Just getting a drink of water,” he said moodily, swinging his legs out of bed.
“Can you get me one too?” Harry said sleepily. Draco sighed loudly, making sure his disapproval of having to do a favour for his boyfriend when he was furious with him was well registered to Harry, when an idea came to him and a small smile crept over his face.
“Sure.”
Harry was out for the count thanks to a temporary sleeping potion from his secret stash (that Draco didn’t see so much as manipulation, they just nudged Harry in the right direction to make their relationship work for the better) and Draco was free to carry out his plan. He crept downstairs and into the living room where the cage was still sat like a centrepiece on the table with a blanket over it. So he’ll sleep better, Harry had explained earlier, to which Draco had yawned rudely.
He yanked the blanket from the cage and then shook it with both hands aggressively, causing Roger to nearly fall to the floor of his cage. “Wake up you stupid thing,” Draco spat and then smirked when he seemed fully awake and stared back at him with unblinking beady little eyes. “One of us isn’t going to be here by tomorrow morning. And I’m planning on having Harry bring me breakfast in bed. You on the other hand are having your breakfast now. An entire weeks worth!”
Draco awoke next morning to the sounds of Harry yelling from downstairs. He yawned and stretched gracefully before catching sight of the sunshine through the window. It looked like a glorious morning and, if his plan went accordingly (and the yells were almost certain it did), it was going to be a glorious afternoon too. He rolled out of bed and shuffled his feet into slippers before making his way downstairs and into the living room. It almost killed him not to laugh at the scene that lay before his eyes. He certainly hadn’t expected his plan to go this well and he mentally congratulated himself for hastily grabbing a couple of Harry’s best suits and draping them over the sofa as the potion began to wear off last night.
“Oh Harry,” said Draco in faux horror. “Did Roger do all this?” He indicated the formerly black living room that was now black and white, randomly dotted with huge clumps of bird shit, most of it congregated on Harry’s suits (that’s where he had placed the most seeds.)
“I thought I locked the cage!” cried Harry. “And the guy at the shop didn’t say that they shit this much!”
“Well he probably managed to unlock the door,” Draco explained gently. “And he was a little on the porky side Harry, perhaps he was just retaining his food until he got used to his surroundings, like you said yesterday.” Harry looked dejected and Draco pulled him into a hug. “Why don’t you go and take Roger back to the shop and I’ll get this mess cleaned up. I mean, we can’t exactly go through this every morning, can we?”
Harry shrugged in moody defeat and adjusted the blanket so it hid all the light from the cage.
“I’ll run you a nice hot bath for when you return after your stressful morning,” Draco continued warmly, raising his voice so he was sure that the parrot was listening. “And then afterwards we can have breakfast in bed. Bye Roger, I’ll miss you!”