update and fix
ok so i was just going through my flist page when i reach the top (i start backwards and at the bottom and work my way up in chronological order) and see an advert for... HABBO HOTEL! i haven't been on that site in years but at one point it was the trend of the school and everyone was going on there. there used to be different rooms and you met up with people for parties and such. and people used to buy credits to get nice things to put in their rooms, only i was cheap and didn't buy anything so my rooms were threadbare and nobody ever came to visit me in mine :( oh and they sometimes had these maze rooms with literally hundreds of transportation devices in each room sending you off on a journey through time and space (and boosh, hee!) and when you eventually made it back the owner of the room gave you a prize. good times man, good times.
in other news, i think there's something wrong with my writing. i've got into a habit of starting a story one way and taking it in a completely different direction, not just with plot, but the way i write, the words i use and the tone and pacing of the story. while i don't hate it, maybe it's just me being critical, but i saw it in the fic below and you can judge for yourself. but yeah.
i replied to comments today and left a lot of "totally"'s everywhere which is weird as i hardly say that irl at all.
in other small time news, my new favourite word is kids's. on judge judy today there was this guy who was going against this woman and he claimed she had stolen his kids's bed and judge judy was like "HUH? WHAT?" in that bitch way of hers and then corrected him with "your KIDS bed" and he was like "i have two" and she said "still doesn't matter, it's KIDS not kids's" but he didn't listen and kept saying it. it doesn't sound as funny as i thought it was and the fact i thought it funny in the first place probably means it wasn't, but it entertained me.
oh, i can't believe i almost didn't include this, but i've done something horribly awful and something i said i would never ever do and i kind of liked it. i'm a horrible person. but don't let that stop you reading:
Title: Massive Retaliation
Author: idontgiveafaux
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Prompt: Massive Retaliation
Word Count: 1900
Summary: Draco’s revenge goes horribly wrong for Harry
Warnings: (at your discretion) Language once or twice, hospital scenes
Notes: Birthday Month gift!fic for dysonrules x
Harry couldn’t even be bothered to open his eyes and investigate what the noise was for he was that tired. Grumbling, he buried himself under the covers but this was evidently not enough for Draco who cranked it up a notch and started slamming doors and banging cabinets even harder and louder. Harry, in his slightly hungover state, couldn’t put up with it and after a particularly loud slam, he eventually gave up. He flung the duvet off of him and sat up at once. “What?” he demanded with a ferocious snarl, eyes still bleary from his premature awakening.
If he was bothered by his tone, an unflinching Draco didn’t show it as he strode over to the bed with an accusatory look in his eyes. “I don’t suppose you’ve seen the last slice of chocolate cake? You know, the slice I was saving and told you a million times last night not to touch?”
Harry swallowed as the memory of drunkenly leaning on the open door of the fridge and firstly picking at, then nibbling at before scoffing the entire slice of cake came flooding back. But he maintained innocence and shook his head. “No.”
Draco glared at him for a while, his arms folded and chest heaving heavily before he turned on his heel and left the room without a word.
*
Harry eventually rose at two o’clock that afternoon after falling back to sleep after Draco had left. He stretched and yawned, grateful of the extra hours of sleep he had gotten and then rolled out of bed and made his way downstairs. He stopped on the third step down when he heard Draco saying goodbye and Harry was sure he had heard him say Mrs. Weasley too which was a worrying prospect in itself, because if Draco was being kind to any of the Weasley’s, it was only normally to manipulate them. He hurried down the rest of the stairs just in time to see a flash of green light and Draco waving a hearty farewell to the fireplace with one hand and balancing a tray holding a huge chocolate cake in the other. He turned to Harry and then looked at the cake and then back to him warningly. “Don’t even think about it,” he said. “This is all mine.”
“I don’t want any,” replied Harry truthfully because even the scent of the rich chocolate wafting up his nostrils so soon after he’d woken was making him feel sick.
*
Draco was in the bath and Harry, after watching Draco eat slice after slice of the cake, had a craving for it. He double checked to see how long Draco was going to be in the bathroom, first asking if he was going to be quick because he needed the toilet, to which Draco irritably replied that there were three other lavatories in the house. And the second time he knocked on the door because Draco had been ‘awfully quiet’ and he ‘wanted to check if he was okay’ to which Draco irritably replied that he was fine and he didn’t know how long he was going to be so if he still needed the toilet to go and use one of the fucking other ones. After his harsh tones Harry felt less guilty about the whole situation, reasoning with and then convincing himself he actually deserved a slice of cake after the onslaught of abuse from his boyfriend and happily tucked into a slice (standing at the fridge, peering out every couple of seconds to check if Draco was coming and eating so fast he was almost choking it down.)
*
His eyes were streaming and he could barely shout louder than a whisper when a bare-chested Draco made his way down the stairs, drying his hair with one of the towels. He felt like his throat was closing up rapidly and he found it hard to breathe. It was all in slow motion for Harry and he could see Draco moving at half his normal speed, towelling off his hair and then shaking it from his face before he caught sight of Harry slumped against the sofa and his reaction went from a normal to a horrified one. He was shouting something but Harry couldn’t hear him properly, he sounded so far away and then he felt his hands on his body shaking him, or at least that’s what it felt like, Harry wasn’t exactly sure, he felt detached from his own body now and everything was a haze. He could make out the odd words: hospital, hysteria, ball, eventually, cake, scrubs, system, allergy, joke, Jamaica and nuts and he wasn’t at all convinced that he wasn’t just making some of these words up randomly as he passed through green flames and was then pushed on a bed down a clean, white corridor with a clean, white ceiling and people in clean white robes walking along either side of him.
Everything went black.
*
Harry couldn’t speak. When he tried, nothing came out and it tired his throat muscles. Harry couldn’t speak so Harry just listened instead, listened to the hustle and bustle of the various doctors and nurses who came rushing in and out of the ward. When there was nobody to listen to, Harry listened to the various clicks and pinging noises of the machines around him.
It seemed like a lifetime until he saw Draco but he eventually did, one afternoon just after a nurse that reminded him an awful lot like Hermione (except she was rude and had even spilt some of the lukewarm soup on the bed sheets as she slammed the bowl moodily on the tray and didn’t apologise) had taken the tray away. Harry couldn’t speak so Harry just listened as Draco, after giving him a gentle kiss and then perching on the edge of the bed timidly, poured out his heart and told him it was just a joke and he knew he was allergic to nuts and he knew there were nuts in the cake and had even told Molly to put them in but he hadn’t realised that eating some would send him into a state like this and he was just trying to get him back for nabbing the last slice of cake and then denying it but it all seems so fucking stupid now he was in here… and then Draco fell silent and bowed his head and Harry tried to reach out to hold him when he saw his shoulders shaking uncontrollably but he couldn’t and sat and watched helplessly.
Draco visited countless times over the next few days but the times he weren’t there just about killed Harry and he often took to whiling away the hours by seeing how many squares he could count in the tiled wall next to him without being interrupted or losing count. His record so far was one hundred and eighty three so he was understandably cross when he reached this milestone and was just about to count the next one when the ward doors were flung open, banging against the wall and causing Harry to look up immediately. It was Draco, however, and Harry softened, although alarm bells started to ring when Draco produced a small, glass vial from his pocket and hurriedly told him to drink it before anybody witnessed him doing so. He had all the faith in the world in Draco though and complied with his request without argument (or in his silent condition, a harsh look.)
Everything went black.
*
He didn’t know how long he’d been out but Harry felt much better when his eyes fluttered open and he found himself staring a maroon-coloured wall. The same maroon-coloured wall in their apartment. Confusedly and instinctively he called out for Draco and found him in the kitchen getting some plates ready with a smile plastered on his face.
“Hi there,” Draco greeted him warmly, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Have a nice sleep?”
“I… what… nice sleep?” Harry asked in a puzzled manner.
Draco snickered. “You were tossing and turning all morning. Something about white robes and tiles and bitch Hermione nurse.”
Harry was gobsmacked and even more so when he shook his head in confusion and only then noticed he wasn’t wearing any clothes. “Why am I naked!?”
Draco shrugged. “I don’t know,” he replied nonchalantly. “But it’s a good thing you are. You’re just in time to witness my carefully orchestrated celebration!”
“What orchestrated -” was all Harry managed to get out before there was a commotion coming from the fireplace in the other room.
“SURPRISE!”
Harry swallowed hard and shot Draco a thunderous glare as he smirked to himself.
“Where are they?” he heard someone say. He thought it might be Pansy.
“They might be in the kitchen,” he heard someone else say. He figured that was Hermione.
“Yes we are!” called Draco cheerfully.
Harry almost crumpled in humiliation when he heard footsteps advancing towards the kitchen and looked around desperately for things to cover his modesty with, sticking his fingers up at Draco every time he neatly spelled anything Harry could use out of the way.
“Mate, I didn’t know what to bring to the party at such short notice so I OH MY GOD.”
Harry turned around timidly and was faced by a crowd headed by Ron, who had a champagne bottle in his hand that looked dangerously close to fizzing over. Behind him stood Hermione, whose cheeks had blushed a shocked red and next to her was Ginny, who was taking all of him in unashamedly. Seamus, Dean, Luna, Pansy and he was sure he caught sight of Millicent too, along with ten or so others and just when he thought he was about to actually drop dead and die from the embarrassment, he heard Molly’s voice call out from the back of the crowd huddled at the doorway. Harry nearly cried when they moved out of the way to open up a path for her and he caught side of Molly making her way forward with an exact replica of the chocolate cake that had made him so sick in the first place.
“Harry dear, Draco told me you wanted a cake with nuts for your other guests even though you’re allergic yourself which is most kind of you dear, but I couldn’t bring myself to arrive without a cake for you so I made one that doesn’t have any - NUTS!” As she caught sight of him as she yelled out her last word, she dropped the cake on the floor and the cork on the champagne bottle Ron was holding burst into the air with a loud pop.
*
“So I wasn’t asleep?” Harry asked in bed that night.
“Nope,” replied Draco smugly.
“So I was in hospital?”
“Nope,” replied Draco smugly.
“Where was I?”
“Here. There were no nuts in the cake that you ate. Just a carefully planted potion by me.”
“But… Molly said there was.”
“I threw that disgusting mess out,” said Draco simply. “You ate my special cake which only knocked you out for a couple of hours, giving me just enough time to sort out my genius plan and arrange a party where everyone would catch you in your birthday suit.”
“Are you serious? You actually planned this?” The pleased smile on Draco’s face said it all. “Do you have any idea what you did?” Harry cried. “I thought I was in hospital! I thought I was going to die!”
“I know,” Draco snickered. “That part wasn’t at all necessary, but I thought it’d be funny to really stick the knife in and mess with your head.”
Harry shook his head slowly. “You are pure evil.”
Draco looked touched. “Thank you.”
in other news, i think there's something wrong with my writing. i've got into a habit of starting a story one way and taking it in a completely different direction, not just with plot, but the way i write, the words i use and the tone and pacing of the story. while i don't hate it, maybe it's just me being critical, but i saw it in the fic below and you can judge for yourself. but yeah.
i replied to comments today and left a lot of "totally"'s everywhere which is weird as i hardly say that irl at all.
in other small time news, my new favourite word is kids's. on judge judy today there was this guy who was going against this woman and he claimed she had stolen his kids's bed and judge judy was like "HUH? WHAT?" in that bitch way of hers and then corrected him with "your KIDS bed" and he was like "i have two" and she said "still doesn't matter, it's KIDS not kids's" but he didn't listen and kept saying it. it doesn't sound as funny as i thought it was and the fact i thought it funny in the first place probably means it wasn't, but it entertained me.
oh, i can't believe i almost didn't include this, but i've done something horribly awful and something i said i would never ever do and i kind of liked it. i'm a horrible person. but don't let that stop you reading:
Title: Massive Retaliation
Author: idontgiveafaux
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Prompt: Massive Retaliation
Word Count: 1900
Summary: Draco’s revenge goes horribly wrong for Harry
Warnings: (at your discretion) Language once or twice, hospital scenes
Notes: Birthday Month gift!fic for dysonrules x
Harry couldn’t even be bothered to open his eyes and investigate what the noise was for he was that tired. Grumbling, he buried himself under the covers but this was evidently not enough for Draco who cranked it up a notch and started slamming doors and banging cabinets even harder and louder. Harry, in his slightly hungover state, couldn’t put up with it and after a particularly loud slam, he eventually gave up. He flung the duvet off of him and sat up at once. “What?” he demanded with a ferocious snarl, eyes still bleary from his premature awakening.
If he was bothered by his tone, an unflinching Draco didn’t show it as he strode over to the bed with an accusatory look in his eyes. “I don’t suppose you’ve seen the last slice of chocolate cake? You know, the slice I was saving and told you a million times last night not to touch?”
Harry swallowed as the memory of drunkenly leaning on the open door of the fridge and firstly picking at, then nibbling at before scoffing the entire slice of cake came flooding back. But he maintained innocence and shook his head. “No.”
Draco glared at him for a while, his arms folded and chest heaving heavily before he turned on his heel and left the room without a word.
*
Harry eventually rose at two o’clock that afternoon after falling back to sleep after Draco had left. He stretched and yawned, grateful of the extra hours of sleep he had gotten and then rolled out of bed and made his way downstairs. He stopped on the third step down when he heard Draco saying goodbye and Harry was sure he had heard him say Mrs. Weasley too which was a worrying prospect in itself, because if Draco was being kind to any of the Weasley’s, it was only normally to manipulate them. He hurried down the rest of the stairs just in time to see a flash of green light and Draco waving a hearty farewell to the fireplace with one hand and balancing a tray holding a huge chocolate cake in the other. He turned to Harry and then looked at the cake and then back to him warningly. “Don’t even think about it,” he said. “This is all mine.”
“I don’t want any,” replied Harry truthfully because even the scent of the rich chocolate wafting up his nostrils so soon after he’d woken was making him feel sick.
*
Draco was in the bath and Harry, after watching Draco eat slice after slice of the cake, had a craving for it. He double checked to see how long Draco was going to be in the bathroom, first asking if he was going to be quick because he needed the toilet, to which Draco irritably replied that there were three other lavatories in the house. And the second time he knocked on the door because Draco had been ‘awfully quiet’ and he ‘wanted to check if he was okay’ to which Draco irritably replied that he was fine and he didn’t know how long he was going to be so if he still needed the toilet to go and use one of the fucking other ones. After his harsh tones Harry felt less guilty about the whole situation, reasoning with and then convincing himself he actually deserved a slice of cake after the onslaught of abuse from his boyfriend and happily tucked into a slice (standing at the fridge, peering out every couple of seconds to check if Draco was coming and eating so fast he was almost choking it down.)
*
His eyes were streaming and he could barely shout louder than a whisper when a bare-chested Draco made his way down the stairs, drying his hair with one of the towels. He felt like his throat was closing up rapidly and he found it hard to breathe. It was all in slow motion for Harry and he could see Draco moving at half his normal speed, towelling off his hair and then shaking it from his face before he caught sight of Harry slumped against the sofa and his reaction went from a normal to a horrified one. He was shouting something but Harry couldn’t hear him properly, he sounded so far away and then he felt his hands on his body shaking him, or at least that’s what it felt like, Harry wasn’t exactly sure, he felt detached from his own body now and everything was a haze. He could make out the odd words: hospital, hysteria, ball, eventually, cake, scrubs, system, allergy, joke, Jamaica and nuts and he wasn’t at all convinced that he wasn’t just making some of these words up randomly as he passed through green flames and was then pushed on a bed down a clean, white corridor with a clean, white ceiling and people in clean white robes walking along either side of him.
Everything went black.
*
Harry couldn’t speak. When he tried, nothing came out and it tired his throat muscles. Harry couldn’t speak so Harry just listened instead, listened to the hustle and bustle of the various doctors and nurses who came rushing in and out of the ward. When there was nobody to listen to, Harry listened to the various clicks and pinging noises of the machines around him.
It seemed like a lifetime until he saw Draco but he eventually did, one afternoon just after a nurse that reminded him an awful lot like Hermione (except she was rude and had even spilt some of the lukewarm soup on the bed sheets as she slammed the bowl moodily on the tray and didn’t apologise) had taken the tray away. Harry couldn’t speak so Harry just listened as Draco, after giving him a gentle kiss and then perching on the edge of the bed timidly, poured out his heart and told him it was just a joke and he knew he was allergic to nuts and he knew there were nuts in the cake and had even told Molly to put them in but he hadn’t realised that eating some would send him into a state like this and he was just trying to get him back for nabbing the last slice of cake and then denying it but it all seems so fucking stupid now he was in here… and then Draco fell silent and bowed his head and Harry tried to reach out to hold him when he saw his shoulders shaking uncontrollably but he couldn’t and sat and watched helplessly.
Draco visited countless times over the next few days but the times he weren’t there just about killed Harry and he often took to whiling away the hours by seeing how many squares he could count in the tiled wall next to him without being interrupted or losing count. His record so far was one hundred and eighty three so he was understandably cross when he reached this milestone and was just about to count the next one when the ward doors were flung open, banging against the wall and causing Harry to look up immediately. It was Draco, however, and Harry softened, although alarm bells started to ring when Draco produced a small, glass vial from his pocket and hurriedly told him to drink it before anybody witnessed him doing so. He had all the faith in the world in Draco though and complied with his request without argument (or in his silent condition, a harsh look.)
Everything went black.
*
He didn’t know how long he’d been out but Harry felt much better when his eyes fluttered open and he found himself staring a maroon-coloured wall. The same maroon-coloured wall in their apartment. Confusedly and instinctively he called out for Draco and found him in the kitchen getting some plates ready with a smile plastered on his face.
“Hi there,” Draco greeted him warmly, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Have a nice sleep?”
“I… what… nice sleep?” Harry asked in a puzzled manner.
Draco snickered. “You were tossing and turning all morning. Something about white robes and tiles and bitch Hermione nurse.”
Harry was gobsmacked and even more so when he shook his head in confusion and only then noticed he wasn’t wearing any clothes. “Why am I naked!?”
Draco shrugged. “I don’t know,” he replied nonchalantly. “But it’s a good thing you are. You’re just in time to witness my carefully orchestrated celebration!”
“What orchestrated -” was all Harry managed to get out before there was a commotion coming from the fireplace in the other room.
“SURPRISE!”
Harry swallowed hard and shot Draco a thunderous glare as he smirked to himself.
“Where are they?” he heard someone say. He thought it might be Pansy.
“They might be in the kitchen,” he heard someone else say. He figured that was Hermione.
“Yes we are!” called Draco cheerfully.
Harry almost crumpled in humiliation when he heard footsteps advancing towards the kitchen and looked around desperately for things to cover his modesty with, sticking his fingers up at Draco every time he neatly spelled anything Harry could use out of the way.
“Mate, I didn’t know what to bring to the party at such short notice so I OH MY GOD.”
Harry turned around timidly and was faced by a crowd headed by Ron, who had a champagne bottle in his hand that looked dangerously close to fizzing over. Behind him stood Hermione, whose cheeks had blushed a shocked red and next to her was Ginny, who was taking all of him in unashamedly. Seamus, Dean, Luna, Pansy and he was sure he caught sight of Millicent too, along with ten or so others and just when he thought he was about to actually drop dead and die from the embarrassment, he heard Molly’s voice call out from the back of the crowd huddled at the doorway. Harry nearly cried when they moved out of the way to open up a path for her and he caught side of Molly making her way forward with an exact replica of the chocolate cake that had made him so sick in the first place.
“Harry dear, Draco told me you wanted a cake with nuts for your other guests even though you’re allergic yourself which is most kind of you dear, but I couldn’t bring myself to arrive without a cake for you so I made one that doesn’t have any - NUTS!” As she caught sight of him as she yelled out her last word, she dropped the cake on the floor and the cork on the champagne bottle Ron was holding burst into the air with a loud pop.
*
“So I wasn’t asleep?” Harry asked in bed that night.
“Nope,” replied Draco smugly.
“So I was in hospital?”
“Nope,” replied Draco smugly.
“Where was I?”
“Here. There were no nuts in the cake that you ate. Just a carefully planted potion by me.”
“But… Molly said there was.”
“I threw that disgusting mess out,” said Draco simply. “You ate my special cake which only knocked you out for a couple of hours, giving me just enough time to sort out my genius plan and arrange a party where everyone would catch you in your birthday suit.”
“Are you serious? You actually planned this?” The pleased smile on Draco’s face said it all. “Do you have any idea what you did?” Harry cried. “I thought I was in hospital! I thought I was going to die!”
“I know,” Draco snickered. “That part wasn’t at all necessary, but I thought it’d be funny to really stick the knife in and mess with your head.”
Harry shook his head slowly. “You are pure evil.”
Draco looked touched. “Thank you.”