i hate myself
i'm sitting home devoting myself to my fuckin journal and i wanna fuckin make something of myself. i'm here listening to neil's song which he recorded and i just wanna cry. ok now i am crying. i'm so damn proud of him no one knows. but at the same time i WISH i could be doing what he is, instead of sitting at home like la la la la. ugh this is so hard struggling with this, and pretending im happy when I'm not...it's not that i'm not happy for him...i just not happy with myself.
I need to do something with myself.
I need to do something with myself.