OOC Secret Santa Wishlist?

[idolies]

This is my CFUD Secret Santa OOC post, apparently, because Shinn's is a bit cluttered and nothing happens on Rinko's. Hm...

Dear Santa:

For Christmas, I don't know what I want, but here goes. My best beloved fandom is, at the moment, Gundam SEED Destiny. I dislike Gil/Meer as a pairing and anything that involves Stellar having sex but, aside from

Comments

You mentioned you wanted post GS:D fic AND Meer fic...

[anonymous]

When Meer died, it seemed like it happened to someone else. Of course, it did -- to her other self. The bullet ripped through her other-self and it was Meer who choked on the pain, fell to her knees and gasped for air that simply wouldn't come.

She suspected that it would have been easier if she could have tasted the blood that should have coated the back of her mouth, because then it would have been real.

Instead, she felt...numb. Isolated. She couldn't articulate just what was wrong to anyone else, because Lacus would never have burdened someone else. The world seemed strange, through a glass that was tinted the wrong shade and too thick for her to penetrate. Lacus could have, but Meer wasn't Lacus no matter how she tried. Everyone needed Lacus, Meer was finding out, including a faux-Lacus.

Time passed. The glass seemed to recede, the cotton wool slowly unwrapping from the scar tissue that was her memories of the Cosmic Era. This hurt, an infinite moment of the excrutiating pain after that blessed moment of shock and before death. She wanted to cry, scream, rail at someone -- anyone! She stopped short of wanting to blame Lacus, but oh how she wanted to sometimes. She wanted to blame Gilbert Dullindal for making her into a brittle, fragile Lacus, but he wasn't here to hear her.

The cotton wool pulled away, jerking the scar tissue. Meer flinched at this new world, a world where she wasn't connected to her Cosmic Era self. No longer would she sing to great crowds, no longer would she be needed for people. No longer would she be Meer-as-Lacus.

It was this realisation that caused her to weep. Huge racking sobs shook her. Her pink hair stuck to her tear streaked face, her breath came in sobs and she curled over her knees, her hands hiding her face from the world.

"Why are you crying?" Russel asked in alarm, touching her shoulder tentatively, unsure as to her response. Meer gasped for air, pushing her hair out of her face as it became matted with her tears. She turned to Russel and examined his worried face with tear-swollen eyes.

"For me," she replied simply. "For me, for Lacus, for all that I was and can never be again. Because I'm dead, Russel, and everything I loved died as well." Russel shook his head, his fair hair falling over both eyes. Habitually, Meer pushed some of his hair behind his ear. She always liked his eyes, or rather the colour of them.

"You can still sing, you can still perform," Russel reminded her softly. "It's just that now you do it as Meer." His smile was a little wry, suggesting that he understood just how difficult such a suggestion was. "Now you can help people as Meer instead of as Lacus."