The end is near for me...
I dont know why I still want to live. I'm so fucking depressed i cant describe it to you.My Parents are oblivious to the gravity of my situation.
I've suffered from depression for most of my life, combined with Asperger's Syndrome which was never diagnosed until 5 years ago. I've taken pill after pill after pill. Nothing works in the long run.
I've had boughts of depression many times before but this is REALLY BAD. The current events aren't helping. I don't at my old age (40) I can stomach Great Depression II ( thanks you Tea Party Republicans - FUCK YOU!!!) Unrest around the world. I feel that in this Bad New World I will absolutly be useless. Can't work. Must survive in SSDI and now even I'm not sure how long that will last.... until the government shutsdown for good.
Living at home is hell. Night after night hearing my 93 yr old grandmother in the last stages of Dementia screaming almost every night until the early hours. My mother's too busy caring for her to see the state I'm in. Can't watch TV anymore without crying. I sleep a lot. I eat (not much). I get on the computer for a while until I'm too depressed to go on. Nothing comforts me. The things that i like bring me no happiness.
Maybe its time to exit this life and start over....
I've suffered from depression for most of my life, combined with Asperger's Syndrome which was never diagnosed until 5 years ago. I've taken pill after pill after pill. Nothing works in the long run.
I've had boughts of depression many times before but this is REALLY BAD. The current events aren't helping. I don't at my old age (40) I can stomach Great Depression II ( thanks you Tea Party Republicans - FUCK YOU!!!) Unrest around the world. I feel that in this Bad New World I will absolutly be useless. Can't work. Must survive in SSDI and now even I'm not sure how long that will last.... until the government shutsdown for good.
Living at home is hell. Night after night hearing my 93 yr old grandmother in the last stages of Dementia screaming almost every night until the early hours. My mother's too busy caring for her to see the state I'm in. Can't watch TV anymore without crying. I sleep a lot. I eat (not much). I get on the computer for a while until I'm too depressed to go on. Nothing comforts me. The things that i like bring me no happiness.
Maybe its time to exit this life and start over....