umm lets see!

[idntfreakingkno]

Nothing really new is going on in my life...all except my mom called me last night and i was really shocked because normally if i want to talk to her i have to call, so that was a good surprise... i can't wait until this weekend because on friday houldah and i are going to the mall, and saturday i'm going to go and see The Ring Two which i wish i was going to go see it with Evan, so i could hold on to him but i can't...and on sunday it's Easter i'm going to Church and having dinner with my family that lives here in Ga.Which i also wish Evan was here so that they could meet him, because i know that they will just love him...Now with all of the bad stuff to talk about...My uncle has been in the hospital for a few days now and i'm thinking in my head that if he passes away i don't know what i will do. i have already experienced 4 deaths in my lifetime and i can't do it again. lets see 1st there was Pamela Butler who i went to school with...we weren't best friends but i talked to her at school and stuff...next was this guy that my dad used to work with who was like a family member, next was my Uncle Joey, next there was Shawn This Kid that went to my church i only spoke to him like once but it's the fact that i knew who he was...so if my uncle dies i think my heart will just stop beating and i will stop breathing and i will go along with him...either that or i will just be so shocked that i will lose my voice and never be able to speak agin...my friends are also drifting away from me and that worries me...I mean i always used to hang out with chelsea and we always had plans but now it's like she doesn't even care if i'm on the face of the earth anymore and she never calls me and everytime i try calling her it's busy and on top of that she never tells me anything i mean yeah i don't exspect her to tell me every last detail about her life but at the same time it is just like there is just some things you tell your friends...i'm getting to a point to where i feel so alone in this world like i can't tell anyone how i feel about anything except my grandma, evan and josh yeah i know thats 3 people but 2 are guys and guys could care less and the other is my grandma and she can't really relate to how i feel because of the fact that our world is totally different from when she grew up. So i don't know...and my religion plays a big part in things my friends used to go to church and now its just like they met new people who no longer go so they just stopped believing (josh) **cough cough** i don't know i guess this has been so bottled up inside of me that i was about to just explode and people can hate me if they want, they can get mad at me but i know that deep down they see it to
i love you Evan and Josh Thank You So much For Always Being There For Me No Matter what and its so funny When you Guys Invite me To Do Stuff When Im 800 Miles Away LOL It Sucks Though Because Even Though You Guys Know That I Can't You Still Ask To Hang Out Way More Then Anyone Here Does Besides My Grandma!
Brittany