Once there was a scientist named Rodney.
He was a little mad sometimes.
Mostly he was just pissed off.
But he loved mice.
When he contemplated them, he was at peace.
He liked to talk to them.
Shut up! I'm talking to the mice!
Look how cute they are!
Rodney also had a really cool boyfriend named John.
Gay, duh.
Positively worshipped Anne Baxter in The Ten Commandments.
But a real badass.
A cool, gay badass with a bitchin' thigh holster.
Everybody knew about John and Rodney.
The hard times.
The hijinks.
Above all, the love.
But many did not realize that John shared Rodney's love of mice...
until one terrible day brought them closer than ever.
Let's take a look.
Here come the mice!
Here they come!
Mice!
Who's that watching the mice?
It's John! John really likes those mice.
Awwwww.
But what's that he hears while he's trying to watch the mice? Radek plans to turn the demousinator on them? John doesn't think much of that plan.
Radek's got some 'splainin' to do.
They're about to start. It's a tense moment for John.
Rodney, too.
The poor little guys are just sitting there!
You better be careful with those mice, Radek!
Aiming the demousinator...
Firing...
Blam!
No more mice.
Uh oh...
Where are the mice?
Oh no!
Not the mice!
Poor mousies!
Radek and Rodney are being scientific. They plan to rematerialize the mice.
Rematerialization initiated!
It's the moment of truth.
Are the mice OK?
As the smoke clears, everyone sees the charred remains of the mice.
They died with honor and courage in the performance of their duty.
Crap.
John might cry.
Radek's glasses are fogging up.
Oh, right, Radek.
Now you're crying about the mice.
I can't believe you killed those mice.
John and Rodney take some time away to recover. Rodney is grief-stricken.
But they still have each other.
And besides! There are probably more mice, right here in this field.
The End.
All caps by me except the one from "Sanctuary," which is from
Abydos Gate.