(no subject)
We want to believe in things like
God
holding us underwater
and us
fighting for the surface.
But everywhere we go
is intentional.
And if everything is intentional,
not eventual,
then I always meant to
be pretending it was June
when it was really April,
underneath a yellow blanket
that could encase us like a tanning bed,
drying our throats and skins
into kiwis.
But we never needed
those to speak
anyway.
just let your dignity go. somewhere far away where it can't
tamper with this moment. the scales must not be touched.
the outcome must be pure.
the door must be closed.
i scrubbed and scrubbed.
all she did was watch.
as that giant mammal came to feast on what became of us.
i watched you decay.
then switched the channels for some dessert.
Find your spirit by osmosis.
Nothing scared me more than when you said
a word without us inside of it,
as though you were going to take a chainsaw to
my handholding.
We spent last night watching
a man talk about
how he could never run away,
no matter how hard he tried,
because she was his world
and that whenever he tried to take the subway
to get to a new place,
his legs were just taking him on trips
inside her body,
bottom to top,
top to bottom,
inside her armpits,
around the fat of her belly,
sleeping in her breasts.
one day. she will open her mouth. and drool will come out. trickling. filthy.
then her gaping jaw will devour that man whole.
she will chew. she will take her time to chew on him.
as she chews the tv screen watches.
with its singular big bulging square eye.
yes it watches you. you watch it all the time now, don't you?
well. as the man struggles to become a non-function of her edibles.
she spits him out. and makes him scrub again.
a little ant died today.
gravity gave my coffee cup a ride to its shattering descent.
the coffee moved in streamlines.
the ant struggled.
with the hot boiling liquid.
and i went to fix myself another.
i lost my mind.
i stared at the sugar cubes.
they stared back.
time passed.
people died.
women raped.
teenagers fell in love.
i'm still staring at your shoes.
I seem to ask you everything,
whether I like it or not,
I tear off my undershirt and underpants
and run naked down the street.
Somehow you’ve been waiting on the corner again,
kind of leaning against the lightpost,
holding a blanket, socks, paper airplanes.
I watch your eyes for STOP signs,
but your face
is made of silk,
buttoned up, dry cleaned,
brand new with the price tag still on it.
I guess I just wanted to ask you if
you would like it
if I lived with you with the intention of never
wearing cheap sunglasses, getting to the morticians
before the morticians
get to our souls.
for the time being i'll unbutton your face and take it off.
maybe i could provide some ironing.
put a hat or two on.
dance around for a while.
while you continue to decay.
i give the ant cpr.
a naked woman runs by.
it doesn't intrigue me.
i know her.
she usually comes back the same way carried
with her prey hanging between her teeth.
crabs can't walk straight. but they can claw the hell out of you.
in a nice cute and polite way of course. they'll even pay for the bandage.
i on the other hand wouldn't. pay that is.
i can give away all my body before my hands go anywhere near the gold
in my pocket. i am a prostitute. would you like some teeth?
we have all shapes colours and sizes.
pizzas are also on offer here.
what else do we have?
molly. get me that jar i put behind your bleached character.
here, sir.
this is human feaces.
the closest thing to love you'll ever find.
Goodbye oxygen tank.
Life isn't an ocean,
or a lake, or a river,
or even the puddle I stepped in when I tried to
swim away.
I always meant
to walk in this direction,
not swim
because you can't drown in oxygen,
just stumble on shoelaces and the things you drop
on the sidewalk,
moving your legs in a doggy paddle,
trying to get here,
but not knowing what species you belong to,
who stole your gills,
why your hair lays flat and doesn't fly around your head like
you've been in a electric chair ballet.
I guess there is one truth in every wrong decision -
when people try to get away,
schools of humans follow. We all have families
we don't ever realize exist
until we see them flash their scales.
what scales?
who is this?
where's my coffee?
MOLLY!!!!
MOLLLLLY!!!!
alright so she's decided to leave.
she won't get far. she's too fat.
now tending to you....
i see you are looking for something.
but would you mind putting some clothes on?
you're distracting me.
i should be scrubbing now.
but instead i have to watch you look for your stupid tank.
so what if you suffocate?
we're all going to get hit by a bus one day.
oh, there she is.
molly.
i thought you were asleep.
listen molly.
this is my naked friend.
she's lost a tank of some sort and some gills.
would you fetch these things for her please?
tell her she's ok.
tell her she may wait outside.
tell her i'm going to scrub.
ask her to join me after i'm done.
i have some lovely knives here.
and some liquid nitrogen.
we could play with flesh in ways she would never imagine.
is that blood dripping out your mouth?
why are you naked?
why have you not brought your own lunch?
why am i asking so many questions?
well.
i ate the feaces.
swallowed the ant.
now its time for you to lick the coffee off the floor.
fish really don't fuck
so the water really is clean to drink
or seemingly so
because whales and dolphins
do.