(no subject)
My mood changes with the wind. Sometimes I am in denial, other times i am depressed, and sometimes I'm optimistic. It's hard. Right now, this second, I'm looking at this as a chance. A chance to do all the things i said i wanted to do but felt like i couldn't. This is my chance for a new start. New Orleans was my safety net, my home that was so hard for me to leave. That's all gone right now, and while that is a terribile thing it may be the push that i needed to get my shit together and take action. It seems like this is the wake up call/push that everyone close to me needed to take those first steps into the rest of their lives. The pain of missing everyone and not being able to have my loved ones near me while i go through this is almost unbearable but i'm dealing. It would be easier if i knew i could go back to new orleans and see everyone there, but they won't be there. They will be scattered all over the place and the fact that they won't even be together for each other also makes me sad. The idea of home i something that everyone has. It's where you can go back to no matter what goes wrong or happens. My home is gone and i have to build a new one somewhere else. This is a much harder thing than i could ever imagine.
But who dosen't love the idea of a fresh start?
But who dosen't love the idea of a fresh start?