Never Alone
Characters: Elizabeth Turner, W/E
Rating: PG-13
Spoiler(s): Post-AWE
Warning(s): None
Disclaimer: I don't own them; the characters belong to Disney, et al. No infringement is intended. Lyrics taken from Never Alone by Barlow Girl. Again, no infringement is intended.
This is my first attempt at a songfic, inspired by a video made awhile back by a dear friend.
This is also a gift for her. Happy birthday, Krism23.
"Never Alone"
I waited for you today, but you didn't show, no, no, no ...
There is nothing different at all about this day, nothing special, nothing that sets it apart from the other days she's marked off as she waits him. Yet today, the need for Will is so strong, so fierce, that she's left her young son with the neighbor woman who's watched him for her before, and made her way towards the ocean's shore before the last flickering of the sun that hovers low in the western sky. She stops near the edge of a rock outcropping above the beach, sets her eyes to the horizon and waits.
Please ...
What she strains to see is a flash of green, and the ghostly gray sails of a mythic ship as it sails into the bay, the Ferrier of Souls standing on the rail, leaning out as far as he can as his eyes eagerly search for his adored wife.
And yet, all the while, she knows that she'll never see the Flying Dutchman. Not today.
I needed you today, so where did you go?
Strange, indeed, are the vagaries of need. The longing for him this particular day has been as sharp and keen as the edge of the knife that is always strapped to his hip, her need for him pulsing and as rhythmic as the blade he'd buried over and over into Tia Dalma's table.
She hurries down the familiar path, and she can feel her heart pounding as she reaches the shore, that fluid, ever-changing, hated boundary that separates her from Will. In the logical part of her mind she calls herself a fool. Yet she cannot help finding herself surprised that he is not there, even though she knows that it is not yet nearly time.
You told me to call, said you'd be there; and though I haven't seen you, are you still there?
She kicks off her shoes, peels off her stockings and pulls up on the hem of her skirt, tucking it furiously into the band at her waist. She strides into the surf that pounds relentlessly against the shore, feeling it pushing her away and then pulling her back into its thrall. She stands for a long time, staring at the distant horizon.
The brilliant hues of the sunset begin to fade, and as the warm waters of the ocean continue to swirl around her, she begins to rail, her voice rising to meet the darkening sky.
"Where are you, Will? Where are you? What part of the world's end are you sailing now? Who have you cared for today? Who have you talked to? Who have you touched today, when you can't touch me?" Her voice cracks a bit. "Whose eyes have you looked into, when you can't look into mine?"
She clenches her hands into tight fists at her sides, her body stiff with anger and doubt, jealousy and loneliness.
Finally, her shoulders sag. "Are you even out there at all?" she mutters.
I cried out with no reply, and I can't feel you by my side ...
She stands against the strength of the tide, a warm, salt-laden breeze blowing her hair back from her face. Her eyes sting, and her throat is thick with bitter tears that she refuses to let fall. There is no answer; she knew there wouldn't be. The only sound she hears is the familiar pounding of the surf.
"I feel nothing," she remembers Barbossa telling her in the great cabin of the Pearl that dark night. And yet the torture of unslaked desire had sharpened the lines of his face and roughened the timbre of his voice. "Not the wind on my face, nor the spray of the sea ... nor the warmth of a woman's flesh."
Her breathing hitches. The warmth of Will's flesh, she thinks achingly.
For her, there is no chance to trail her fingers over his heated skin as he lies beneath her, no chance to press eager kisses to his waiting lips, no chance to whisper words of love and desire in his ear. There is no chance to bury herself in his embrace.
"It's been so long," she whispers brokenly, "since I've touched you, since I've felt anything of you at all."
So I'll hold tight to what I know ...
She wades back to the cool, sandy shore to wearily sit down. Listening to the waves as they pound against the beach in the darkening night, she is lost in misery and doubt, adrift, rudderless and alone. Finally, she casts her mind back to their one day.
"There will be times, for both of us," Will reached up to brush a stray lock of honey-coloured hair back from her cheek, "when we'll have to fight to hold on to what we have." He put a gentle finger to her lips, silencing the fierce denial she would have given voice to. As if she would *ever* falter!
"Ten years is a long time, Elizabeth. We both know that."
Will continued to kneel in front of her as she sat on one of the black rocks that littered the beach. With the sun shining so brightly behind her, her face was hidden in shadows as she gazed down into his eyes.
"You'll feel like you're alone, you'll be so very lonely. So will I," he said softly, remembering the feeling he was well acquainted with.
She had the sudden memory of a young boy, standing at the rail of a naval vessel, staring out at the fathomless sea. His shoulders had been bowed under the weight of a future fraught with uncertainty. He had no one in the world, she realized, and that world suddenly became a huge and terrifying place to her in the face of this stunning revelation. She hurried to stand next to him, wanting only to alleviate his terrible loneliness, and she slipped her hand into his. He gripped it tightly, turning his head to give her an wobbly little smile. He was trying so very desperately to be strong and brave.
"But know this," Will's dark eyes were fierce with determination. "You will always be in my thoughts, I will find you in my dreams, I will love you down through time - for all of time - no matter how far apart we are. And I will never, ever surrender that."
You're here and I'm never alone ...
She remembers his words, and with them come a torrent of memories - the good times, and the bad, everything in between. She closes her eyes, letting them all crash onto the shores of her remembrance.
She ponders the dreams of him that reside in her heart - cherished because they are moments where things are as they might have been, instead of what they really are.
She pictures their small son - how he will turn his head just so, or how she'll sometimes catch a certain line of his cheek, or the way he can hold himself so very determined - and her breath catches a little as she realizes once again how much like Will he truly is.
She stays for a long time, lost in all that they'd had, and all that might have been - no, all that should have been. The moon is high in the velvety midnight sky before she brings herself back to the reality of her life as it is now. But she no longer feels so very alone. She realizes that, as he'd said, he is with her in these things. And although it can never be anything close to what she wants, it is enough for now.
Getting to her feet, she moves to stand in the now gentle surf. She sends her love to Will from the quiet darkness of her world, telling him that she is keeping a weather eye on the horizon. Backing slowly out of the sea again, she turns to gather up her discarded shoes and stockings, and heads for home.
Extra, deleted scene found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6078603/2/Never_Alone
Video that inspired this story found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk6WtItMn90
Rating: PG-13
Spoiler(s): Post-AWE
Warning(s): None
Disclaimer: I don't own them; the characters belong to Disney, et al. No infringement is intended. Lyrics taken from Never Alone by Barlow Girl. Again, no infringement is intended.
This is my first attempt at a songfic, inspired by a video made awhile back by a dear friend.
This is also a gift for her. Happy birthday, Krism23.
"Never Alone"
I waited for you today, but you didn't show, no, no, no ...
There is nothing different at all about this day, nothing special, nothing that sets it apart from the other days she's marked off as she waits him. Yet today, the need for Will is so strong, so fierce, that she's left her young son with the neighbor woman who's watched him for her before, and made her way towards the ocean's shore before the last flickering of the sun that hovers low in the western sky. She stops near the edge of a rock outcropping above the beach, sets her eyes to the horizon and waits.
Please ...
What she strains to see is a flash of green, and the ghostly gray sails of a mythic ship as it sails into the bay, the Ferrier of Souls standing on the rail, leaning out as far as he can as his eyes eagerly search for his adored wife.
And yet, all the while, she knows that she'll never see the Flying Dutchman. Not today.
I needed you today, so where did you go?
Strange, indeed, are the vagaries of need. The longing for him this particular day has been as sharp and keen as the edge of the knife that is always strapped to his hip, her need for him pulsing and as rhythmic as the blade he'd buried over and over into Tia Dalma's table.
She hurries down the familiar path, and she can feel her heart pounding as she reaches the shore, that fluid, ever-changing, hated boundary that separates her from Will. In the logical part of her mind she calls herself a fool. Yet she cannot help finding herself surprised that he is not there, even though she knows that it is not yet nearly time.
You told me to call, said you'd be there; and though I haven't seen you, are you still there?
She kicks off her shoes, peels off her stockings and pulls up on the hem of her skirt, tucking it furiously into the band at her waist. She strides into the surf that pounds relentlessly against the shore, feeling it pushing her away and then pulling her back into its thrall. She stands for a long time, staring at the distant horizon.
The brilliant hues of the sunset begin to fade, and as the warm waters of the ocean continue to swirl around her, she begins to rail, her voice rising to meet the darkening sky.
"Where are you, Will? Where are you? What part of the world's end are you sailing now? Who have you cared for today? Who have you talked to? Who have you touched today, when you can't touch me?" Her voice cracks a bit. "Whose eyes have you looked into, when you can't look into mine?"
She clenches her hands into tight fists at her sides, her body stiff with anger and doubt, jealousy and loneliness.
Finally, her shoulders sag. "Are you even out there at all?" she mutters.
I cried out with no reply, and I can't feel you by my side ...
She stands against the strength of the tide, a warm, salt-laden breeze blowing her hair back from her face. Her eyes sting, and her throat is thick with bitter tears that she refuses to let fall. There is no answer; she knew there wouldn't be. The only sound she hears is the familiar pounding of the surf.
"I feel nothing," she remembers Barbossa telling her in the great cabin of the Pearl that dark night. And yet the torture of unslaked desire had sharpened the lines of his face and roughened the timbre of his voice. "Not the wind on my face, nor the spray of the sea ... nor the warmth of a woman's flesh."
Her breathing hitches. The warmth of Will's flesh, she thinks achingly.
For her, there is no chance to trail her fingers over his heated skin as he lies beneath her, no chance to press eager kisses to his waiting lips, no chance to whisper words of love and desire in his ear. There is no chance to bury herself in his embrace.
"It's been so long," she whispers brokenly, "since I've touched you, since I've felt anything of you at all."
So I'll hold tight to what I know ...
She wades back to the cool, sandy shore to wearily sit down. Listening to the waves as they pound against the beach in the darkening night, she is lost in misery and doubt, adrift, rudderless and alone. Finally, she casts her mind back to their one day.
"There will be times, for both of us," Will reached up to brush a stray lock of honey-coloured hair back from her cheek, "when we'll have to fight to hold on to what we have." He put a gentle finger to her lips, silencing the fierce denial she would have given voice to. As if she would *ever* falter!
"Ten years is a long time, Elizabeth. We both know that."
Will continued to kneel in front of her as she sat on one of the black rocks that littered the beach. With the sun shining so brightly behind her, her face was hidden in shadows as she gazed down into his eyes.
"You'll feel like you're alone, you'll be so very lonely. So will I," he said softly, remembering the feeling he was well acquainted with.
She had the sudden memory of a young boy, standing at the rail of a naval vessel, staring out at the fathomless sea. His shoulders had been bowed under the weight of a future fraught with uncertainty. He had no one in the world, she realized, and that world suddenly became a huge and terrifying place to her in the face of this stunning revelation. She hurried to stand next to him, wanting only to alleviate his terrible loneliness, and she slipped her hand into his. He gripped it tightly, turning his head to give her an wobbly little smile. He was trying so very desperately to be strong and brave.
"But know this," Will's dark eyes were fierce with determination. "You will always be in my thoughts, I will find you in my dreams, I will love you down through time - for all of time - no matter how far apart we are. And I will never, ever surrender that."
You're here and I'm never alone ...
She remembers his words, and with them come a torrent of memories - the good times, and the bad, everything in between. She closes her eyes, letting them all crash onto the shores of her remembrance.
She ponders the dreams of him that reside in her heart - cherished because they are moments where things are as they might have been, instead of what they really are.
She pictures their small son - how he will turn his head just so, or how she'll sometimes catch a certain line of his cheek, or the way he can hold himself so very determined - and her breath catches a little as she realizes once again how much like Will he truly is.
She stays for a long time, lost in all that they'd had, and all that might have been - no, all that should have been. The moon is high in the velvety midnight sky before she brings herself back to the reality of her life as it is now. But she no longer feels so very alone. She realizes that, as he'd said, he is with her in these things. And although it can never be anything close to what she wants, it is enough for now.
Getting to her feet, she moves to stand in the now gentle surf. She sends her love to Will from the quiet darkness of her world, telling him that she is keeping a weather eye on the horizon. Backing slowly out of the sea again, she turns to gather up her discarded shoes and stockings, and heads for home.
Extra, deleted scene found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6078603/2/Never_Alone
Video that inspired this story found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk6WtItMn90