001 || Accidental Video

[idkmybfftrash]

[The video feed cuts in to offer you a view of one (1) tanned, scarred, mafia assassin, face eating lawn. Said face turns toward the camera and red eyes blink open, glaring death, murder, dismemberment, mass genocide and likely nuclear strike somewhere in there as well, which is all kind of ruined the next second when he spits out a couple blades

Comments

[uselessfish]

[ But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east, and ..Xanxus in an orchard oh god oh man oh god. ]

X-Xanxus??

[idkmybfftrash]

[ The eyeroll heard 'round the world. If eyerolling made noise. ]

No, it's the fucking tooth fairy.

[uselessfish]

[ Silly Xanxus you can't trick Tsuna. The tooth fairy is obviously not real! ]

W-What are you doing here?

[idkmybfftrash]

Exactly what I'd like to know. But you'll probably be just as useless as your moron guardians in that respect.

[ Gokudera was actually pretty informative but if you're not hand delivering him a Manual To All That Is Wonderland on a silver platter served with filet mignon and a bottle of bourbon Xanxus is deeming you useless. ]

[uselessfish]

[ HEY, his friends are smart okay. ]

I just got here a couple of days ago. S-So I don't really know that much.

[idkmybfftrash]

[ Xanxus begs to differ, and moves to include your intellect in question as well. >( ]

Fucking figures.

[ He snorts. Surroooounded by idiots. Woe is him. ]

Is it just you and your Storm, Rain and Cloud guardians? [ Trash don't get names. ] Or anyone actually worth giving half a shit about?

[uselessfish]

[ So what if Tsuna fails basically every class ever, it doesn't mean anything :(! ]

Uh, y-yeah! [ Although he looks a little surprised when Xanxus mentions "cloud guardian". He didn't know Hibari was here. God he has been here longer than you and you already know more...]

[idkmybfftrash]

[ Xanxus is going to theorize that you have schizophrenia because he refuses to believe he was beaten but such a lame failure.

He rolls his eyes again. God, he would rather be having a root canal right now than having this conversation.]

'Y-Yeah' to which question, trash? Is there anyone from Vongola with half a brain here or not?

[ Yeah, bro, Hibari's totally here. And in the wonky timeline of whenever this is going on Xanxus'll likely have him running on over to greet him and they'll spend a while rearranging the orchard through mass demolition. ]

[uselessfish]

[ Why are you so mean he hasn't even done anything! ]

Those are the only one I k-know about..

[idkmybfftrash]

[ Because having to talk to you without being able to murder you puts his Varia brand panties in a twist. ]

Fan-fucking-tastic.

[ Stuck in a story book prison with all the people he hates the most. Fuck his life. ]

[uselessfish]

[ Don't get your panties in a bunch Xanxus! Not that Tsuna would ever have the courage to say such a thing. ]

I-It's not that bad? Yamamoto told me to think of it as a vacation..

[idkmybfftrash]

If I were going on vacation I wouldn't be hauling the flock of preteen wannabe-mafia along with me.

[ He realizes you are all 15ish and thus not preteens but, whatever, you could be toddlers for all he cares. ]

[uselessfish]

[ He..he hasn't been a preteen for a while okay Xanxus. And they were here first! So technically they are dragging Xanxus with them. Again, Tsuna would never ever say that. ]

You could ignore us? This place is kind of..um, big!

[idkmybfftrash]

[ Add it to the pile of 'things to let out when you want a tequila bottle to the cranium'. ]

I plan to.

[ Unless, of course, you do something to disagrace the Vongola name, in which case he will come attempt to shitkick you. And likely attempt to shitkick whoever shitkicked you in the first place to cause the embarrassment. ]

[uselessfish]

[ That list is pretty big already. ]

Okay! I..guess..I'll leave you alone now?

[ He'll keep that in mind. No disgracing will be going on with him around! Nope, never. ]

[idkmybfftrash]

You do that.

[Aaaand blip, he's gone. You've been hung up on, trash.]