★『twenty-three』 | audio

[idkmybffsatan]

What.

First the dogs, the air conditioner, then Satan in my car, now this-

[ a sudden loud FUCK ]That's it! I really am going crazy. It's the only way to explain this entire fucking day, including the fact that I'm standing by a creepy carousel and fancy water fountain that DOESN'T EXIST IN SEATTLE OR BELLEVUE OR ANYWHERE I'VE EVER BEEN

Comments

audio;

[itextedyou]

If you are serious about that last bit I can offer you a few options.

audio

[idkmybffsatan]

Now I'm hearing voices in my head?

[ his voice is on the edge of yelling, sorry 'bout those ear drums, Eric. finally he notices the communicator in his pocket. ]

...Who the hell is this?

audio

[itextedyou]

[ ow my sensitive vampire hearing ): ]

Not in your head. Don't be an idiot.

They invented the cellphone a decade ago.

audio

[idkmybffsatan]

But didn't call you, did I? I don't even know who you are.

And I'm not an idiot. Voices are entirely possible, judging by how my day is going.

audio

[itextedyou]

Mr. Northman. Your erstwhile employer.

Now stop. Panicking. You will end up drawing negative attention to yourself and I can't afford to have a trained shift manager kidnapped or eaten.

Re: audio

[idkmybffsatan]

Unless you're name is Ted, you're not my employer. And since you don't sound like a 40-year old virgin, I'm going to say that's a no.

Eaten? Seriously? I don't think I'm the only batshit one here.

audio

[itextedyou]

I really am going to be very irritated if you get yourself into trouble.

I should take you back to your apartment.

audio

[idkmybffsatan]

Your concern is sort of creepy. I mean, really creepy considering I don't know who the hell you are.

And let me guess, that's codeword for kidnapping me? I wasn't born yesterday.

audio

[itextedyou]

I know.

And yes, you were born yesterday. Comparatively. Which will be amusing when you remember it again.

audio

[idkmybffsatan]

You're a rapist, aren't you?