FIC: For the longest time (1/1) HIMYM
Title: For the longest time
Summary: It was way after midnight when his cell phone rang.
Rating/Warnings: PG-13.
Word Count: 1,020
Fandom/Pairing: HIMYM, Ted/The Mother, Barney/Robin
Spoilers: For 8.20 The Time Travellers
Ted pressed the heel of his hand against his eye socket and sucked in a breath. Not a shaky breath, but a steady breath, because he could not, he refused to, he absolutely would not lose it now.
“Are you okay Dad?”
With a smile, with another breath, Ted took in the concerned faces of his children; teenagers who, by rights, should be sulking in their bedrooms or hanging out in burger joints with their friends, or whatever it was that teenagers did. Ted tried to remember what he was like when he was their age, but the memory was faded and foggy. That was the whole problem, the mind played tricks with you. It edited and deleted and conflated and you had no conscious control.
“I’m okay,” he said eventually. “That’s enough for tonight. Don’t you guys have school tomorrow?” He waggled his eyebrows sternly as they both protested. That was better. That was normal.
And Ted promised himself that he would follow them up to bed, and that the decanter of scotch, a present from Robin, wouldn’t lure him in. He promised himself hat he wouldn’t stay up till three in the morning, eyes dry and red-lined, breath sickly sweet and yet somehow musty. He knew it wasn’t good for his health. He wasn’t thirty any more.
Ted remembered a time when thirty had seemed so old.
It was way after midnight when his cell phone rang. Ted took another deep breath and stared down, uncomprehendingly, at the still-full tumbler in his hand. The ice had melted an hour ago. He took another good, deep breath, and pushed the air out of his lungs. Strange how this room had its own taste, its own scent; leather from the sofa, wood polish, his daughter’s perfume.
He answered his phone. “Hey.”
“So, you wanna hit the bar?” Barney’s voice was clear as a bell on the other end of the line, like he was standing right next to him. It was amazing how great the quality was. Ted almost laughed. What a thing to think at a time like this.The stupid, stupid phone line.
“Right,” Ted replied, so weary, so overtired, that there was a sort-of clarity to everything. “Right, so are you gonna come all the way up to White Plains or have I gotta come down to the city?”
There was a gruff laugh and then silence on the line, which made Ted’s lips twitch into the ghost of a smile. He didn’t have to ask why Barney was still up, with Robin still away working in Europe. “Day one hundred and eighty, and I’m still telling them bedtime stories every night,” Ted said, with a hitch in his breath. “And you know what’s so ridiculous? It’s getting so near now to when I met her, but the days are blurring into one. I can’t get them straight in my head anymore.”
“Bro.” Barney said, sympathetically.
“Because all I can think is, what if tomorrow is the day? What if I only get one more day? She’s... I’m... I’m stuck here every god damn night like freakin’ Scheherazade, who, by the way, got at least one thousand nights, and...”
Ted’s throat closed. All he could think was - I can’t do this. I can’t do this anymore.
“You’re an awesome Dad to those kids, Ted,” Barney said, quietly sincere. And that was what undid him. If Barney could just be wacky or rude or inappropriate, Ted could take it. Now there were no just words left inside him, only a bitten off sob.
“She’s going to be okay.”
Ted nodded, although Barney couldn’t see him, and when he pulled his phone away from his ear, it felt oddly damp. God, he hated to cry, not when the kids might hear him and come down to investigate. “She’s going to be okay?" Ted repeated, but it was a question, almost a plea.
“If Robin were here she’d totally kick your ass for doubting that,” Barney answered with a hollow laugh.
“Oh god, I’m sorry,” Ted hurriedly wiped his eyes. “How is Robin?”
There was a snort from the other end of the phone. “She’s Robin,” Barney said, as if that was any answer. “She’ll be home in two weeks. She sends her love.”
Ted nodded. Robin had sent him about ten messages today. True, they were mainly dirty jokes, but he knew what she meant. He knew she was there for him, just like Marshall and Lily, and Heather. “But seriously, it’s four more days, then there’s the operation, and...”
Ted nodded. Four more days with his family stuck in limbo. Four more nights with the kids, telling his stupid stories, trying to make them laugh, trying to make them forget that their Mom was still at the hospital hooked up to tubes and wires and machines that went “beep” in the most grating, horrific way.
“That’s a good thing, dude, you know that,” Barney said. “Because it means she can get better.”
I love her, Ted thought. I’m always going to love her, whatever happens. And so how do I get through this?
But what he said was, “I know. Thanks, Barney.”
“You know I never thought I’d say this, and if you tell anybody I said this, I may have to kill you...”
Ted couldn’t help but laugh, tasting salt, still, somehow, crying.
“Go to bed, Ted.” Barney finished. The great Barney Stinson, was telling him to go to bed. How the world turns, Ted thought.
“I guess we all grew up,” Ted mumbled. He remembers the day he met her, so clearly. It seems like yesterday right now, but what will he feel like in ten years, in twenty? Who’s going to remember her? If he really could go back twenty years and tell his younger self one thing, that would be it. Everything goes by so quickly. Try not to forget.
“You know if anybody’s gonna get a happy ending, Mosby, it’ll be you.” Barney said firmly.
Ted bit his lip, leaning back against the leather of the old, worn sofa. “I hope so, buddy, I really do.”
Time would tell.
Summary: It was way after midnight when his cell phone rang.
Rating/Warnings: PG-13.
Word Count: 1,020
Fandom/Pairing: HIMYM, Ted/The Mother, Barney/Robin
Spoilers: For 8.20 The Time Travellers
Ted pressed the heel of his hand against his eye socket and sucked in a breath. Not a shaky breath, but a steady breath, because he could not, he refused to, he absolutely would not lose it now.
“Are you okay Dad?”
With a smile, with another breath, Ted took in the concerned faces of his children; teenagers who, by rights, should be sulking in their bedrooms or hanging out in burger joints with their friends, or whatever it was that teenagers did. Ted tried to remember what he was like when he was their age, but the memory was faded and foggy. That was the whole problem, the mind played tricks with you. It edited and deleted and conflated and you had no conscious control.
“I’m okay,” he said eventually. “That’s enough for tonight. Don’t you guys have school tomorrow?” He waggled his eyebrows sternly as they both protested. That was better. That was normal.
And Ted promised himself that he would follow them up to bed, and that the decanter of scotch, a present from Robin, wouldn’t lure him in. He promised himself hat he wouldn’t stay up till three in the morning, eyes dry and red-lined, breath sickly sweet and yet somehow musty. He knew it wasn’t good for his health. He wasn’t thirty any more.
Ted remembered a time when thirty had seemed so old.
It was way after midnight when his cell phone rang. Ted took another deep breath and stared down, uncomprehendingly, at the still-full tumbler in his hand. The ice had melted an hour ago. He took another good, deep breath, and pushed the air out of his lungs. Strange how this room had its own taste, its own scent; leather from the sofa, wood polish, his daughter’s perfume.
He answered his phone. “Hey.”
“So, you wanna hit the bar?” Barney’s voice was clear as a bell on the other end of the line, like he was standing right next to him. It was amazing how great the quality was. Ted almost laughed. What a thing to think at a time like this.The stupid, stupid phone line.
“Right,” Ted replied, so weary, so overtired, that there was a sort-of clarity to everything. “Right, so are you gonna come all the way up to White Plains or have I gotta come down to the city?”
There was a gruff laugh and then silence on the line, which made Ted’s lips twitch into the ghost of a smile. He didn’t have to ask why Barney was still up, with Robin still away working in Europe. “Day one hundred and eighty, and I’m still telling them bedtime stories every night,” Ted said, with a hitch in his breath. “And you know what’s so ridiculous? It’s getting so near now to when I met her, but the days are blurring into one. I can’t get them straight in my head anymore.”
“Bro.” Barney said, sympathetically.
“Because all I can think is, what if tomorrow is the day? What if I only get one more day? She’s... I’m... I’m stuck here every god damn night like freakin’ Scheherazade, who, by the way, got at least one thousand nights, and...”
Ted’s throat closed. All he could think was - I can’t do this. I can’t do this anymore.
“You’re an awesome Dad to those kids, Ted,” Barney said, quietly sincere. And that was what undid him. If Barney could just be wacky or rude or inappropriate, Ted could take it. Now there were no just words left inside him, only a bitten off sob.
“She’s going to be okay.”
Ted nodded, although Barney couldn’t see him, and when he pulled his phone away from his ear, it felt oddly damp. God, he hated to cry, not when the kids might hear him and come down to investigate. “She’s going to be okay?" Ted repeated, but it was a question, almost a plea.
“If Robin were here she’d totally kick your ass for doubting that,” Barney answered with a hollow laugh.
“Oh god, I’m sorry,” Ted hurriedly wiped his eyes. “How is Robin?”
There was a snort from the other end of the phone. “She’s Robin,” Barney said, as if that was any answer. “She’ll be home in two weeks. She sends her love.”
Ted nodded. Robin had sent him about ten messages today. True, they were mainly dirty jokes, but he knew what she meant. He knew she was there for him, just like Marshall and Lily, and Heather. “But seriously, it’s four more days, then there’s the operation, and...”
Ted nodded. Four more days with his family stuck in limbo. Four more nights with the kids, telling his stupid stories, trying to make them laugh, trying to make them forget that their Mom was still at the hospital hooked up to tubes and wires and machines that went “beep” in the most grating, horrific way.
“That’s a good thing, dude, you know that,” Barney said. “Because it means she can get better.”
I love her, Ted thought. I’m always going to love her, whatever happens. And so how do I get through this?
But what he said was, “I know. Thanks, Barney.”
“You know I never thought I’d say this, and if you tell anybody I said this, I may have to kill you...”
Ted couldn’t help but laugh, tasting salt, still, somehow, crying.
“Go to bed, Ted.” Barney finished. The great Barney Stinson, was telling him to go to bed. How the world turns, Ted thought.
“I guess we all grew up,” Ted mumbled. He remembers the day he met her, so clearly. It seems like yesterday right now, but what will he feel like in ten years, in twenty? Who’s going to remember her? If he really could go back twenty years and tell his younger self one thing, that would be it. Everything goes by so quickly. Try not to forget.
“You know if anybody’s gonna get a happy ending, Mosby, it’ll be you.” Barney said firmly.
Ted bit his lip, leaning back against the leather of the old, worn sofa. “I hope so, buddy, I really do.”
Time would tell.