FIC: Girl Talk (HIMYM)
Title: Girl Talk
Summary: Lily and Robin talk boy-parts
Written for: platalet , who coined the term Lily uses in this story.
Rating/Warnings: Adult-ish for sexual references.
Word Count: 619
Fandom/Pairing: HIMYM: Robin/Don, Robin/Barney, Robin/Ted
Challenge: fanfic100 prompt #057 Lunch
Spoilers: Season 6, Epsiode 5, Architect of Destruction
Girl talk.
"So, enough about Marshall," Lily says, placing her wine glass down on the table. "Tell me more about Max?"
Robin's smile could give Mona Lisa a run for her money.
"C'mon girl, spill!" Lily insists.
"Well," Robin smirks, leaning back against the booth. "He's got an amazing body."
"Check," Lily nods. "But how is he in bed?"
For a second it looks like a slight blush has crept onto Robin's cheek.
"Wow," Lily grins. "You pulled a Robinatrix on him already?"
Robin barks out a laugh. "Robinatrix? Really?" She takes a dainty sip from her glass.
"Stop deflecting!" Lily orders her. "Ooo, how did he react? Is he a Don? Or a Barney? Or, heaven-forbid, a Ted?"
Robin almost chokes. "Well, it's funny you should ask…"
/// F l a s h b a c k
Robin swishes her hand through the air a few times. Then she lines up her palm against the seat of Don's pants. Don gives her an odd look, and grins.
"Well, okay," he says, annoyingly calm about it, like he's seen it all before. "But only if I get to spank you later?"
Robin frowns at him. "Way to spoil the mood, man."
/// F l a s h b a ck
Barney actually does look surprised at Robin's suggestion - his eyebrows float upwards and his blue eyes widen - but only for a moment, because then he breaks into his trademark grin. He turns away from her and opens the door to his bedroom closet. Hung in racks on the back are an assortment of paddles, flails and hand whips.
"Take your pick," he says. "I recommend a number seventeen for that real, rosy glow."
Robin punches him on the arm and he lets out an over-blown groan of mock-desire.
"It's a start," she growls.
/// F l a s h b a c k
Ted is bent over Robin's lap, bare ass in the air, as she brings down her hand across his buttocks with a thwack.
"Ouch!" He protests loudly, squirming away. "That really hurts!"
Frustrated, Robin tries to smack him again, but he holds out his hands defensively. Honestly, she swears there are even tears in his eyes.
"Big baby," she grumbles.
/// B a c k t o R o b i n a n d L i l y
Robin sighs and smiles nostalgically. "You know, Barney was way too into it."
Grinning, Lily tops up their wine. "I remember," she says with a matching sigh. Then she coughs, "I mean- I remember you telling me!"
"But yeah," Robin says, with a slightly confused look as she reaches forward and steals one of Lily's fries. "I'd say Max is more of a Ted in that respect. Some guys just don't like getting their bums slapped. I don't know why. It's weird."
"Aw!" Lily says. "But that's not a deal breaker, right?" She gives Robin a significant look.
Robin shrugs, not answering for a moment. Then with a sly smile she says, "No. But he's just a little… small."
Lily frowns. "Small? How small? Like, mild disappointment or tiny?"
"Gherkin," Robin replies.
Lily laughs at that. "Wow, okay, that's never gonna last."
"Lily!" Robin shoots back with righteous indignation. "Not everyone is that shallow! He's a nice guy, smart, good prospects, he's respectful… and yeah, never gonna last…"
Lily sniggers behind her hand.
"Shut up!" Robin mumbles. "Tell me more about wonder-Papa and his slipper-socks?"
"It's not like you can always be lucky, with your guy being well endowed, y'know." Lily says, ignoring Robin's attempt to change the subject. "Not everyone's a Marshall. Or a Ted."
"Or even a Barney," Robin nods.
"True that," Lily agrees with a grin. And both girls dissolve into a fit of giggles. A moment later, Marshall joins them from the bar with a round of drinks.
"What're you ladies talking about?" He asks with an amiable smile.
"Shoes," they both say in unison, and Lily catches Robin's eye with a nod of respect as Marshall tucks into his food.
Summary: Lily and Robin talk boy-parts
Written for: platalet , who coined the term Lily uses in this story.
Rating/Warnings: Adult-ish for sexual references.
Word Count: 619
Fandom/Pairing: HIMYM: Robin/Don, Robin/Barney, Robin/Ted
Challenge: fanfic100 prompt #057 Lunch
Spoilers: Season 6, Epsiode 5, Architect of Destruction
Girl talk.
"So, enough about Marshall," Lily says, placing her wine glass down on the table. "Tell me more about Max?"
Robin's smile could give Mona Lisa a run for her money.
"C'mon girl, spill!" Lily insists.
"Well," Robin smirks, leaning back against the booth. "He's got an amazing body."
"Check," Lily nods. "But how is he in bed?"
For a second it looks like a slight blush has crept onto Robin's cheek.
"Wow," Lily grins. "You pulled a Robinatrix on him already?"
Robin barks out a laugh. "Robinatrix? Really?" She takes a dainty sip from her glass.
"Stop deflecting!" Lily orders her. "Ooo, how did he react? Is he a Don? Or a Barney? Or, heaven-forbid, a Ted?"
Robin almost chokes. "Well, it's funny you should ask…"
/// F l a s h b a c k
Robin swishes her hand through the air a few times. Then she lines up her palm against the seat of Don's pants. Don gives her an odd look, and grins.
"Well, okay," he says, annoyingly calm about it, like he's seen it all before. "But only if I get to spank you later?"
Robin frowns at him. "Way to spoil the mood, man."
/// F l a s h b a ck
Barney actually does look surprised at Robin's suggestion - his eyebrows float upwards and his blue eyes widen - but only for a moment, because then he breaks into his trademark grin. He turns away from her and opens the door to his bedroom closet. Hung in racks on the back are an assortment of paddles, flails and hand whips.
"Take your pick," he says. "I recommend a number seventeen for that real, rosy glow."
Robin punches him on the arm and he lets out an over-blown groan of mock-desire.
"It's a start," she growls.
/// F l a s h b a c k
Ted is bent over Robin's lap, bare ass in the air, as she brings down her hand across his buttocks with a thwack.
"Ouch!" He protests loudly, squirming away. "That really hurts!"
Frustrated, Robin tries to smack him again, but he holds out his hands defensively. Honestly, she swears there are even tears in his eyes.
"Big baby," she grumbles.
/// B a c k t o R o b i n a n d L i l y
Robin sighs and smiles nostalgically. "You know, Barney was way too into it."
Grinning, Lily tops up their wine. "I remember," she says with a matching sigh. Then she coughs, "I mean- I remember you telling me!"
"But yeah," Robin says, with a slightly confused look as she reaches forward and steals one of Lily's fries. "I'd say Max is more of a Ted in that respect. Some guys just don't like getting their bums slapped. I don't know why. It's weird."
"Aw!" Lily says. "But that's not a deal breaker, right?" She gives Robin a significant look.
Robin shrugs, not answering for a moment. Then with a sly smile she says, "No. But he's just a little… small."
Lily frowns. "Small? How small? Like, mild disappointment or tiny?"
"Gherkin," Robin replies.
Lily laughs at that. "Wow, okay, that's never gonna last."
"Lily!" Robin shoots back with righteous indignation. "Not everyone is that shallow! He's a nice guy, smart, good prospects, he's respectful… and yeah, never gonna last…"
Lily sniggers behind her hand.
"Shut up!" Robin mumbles. "Tell me more about wonder-Papa and his slipper-socks?"
"It's not like you can always be lucky, with your guy being well endowed, y'know." Lily says, ignoring Robin's attempt to change the subject. "Not everyone's a Marshall. Or a Ted."
"Or even a Barney," Robin nods.
"True that," Lily agrees with a grin. And both girls dissolve into a fit of giggles. A moment later, Marshall joins them from the bar with a round of drinks.
"What're you ladies talking about?" He asks with an amiable smile.
"Shoes," they both say in unison, and Lily catches Robin's eye with a nod of respect as Marshall tucks into his food.