FIC: Outside the box (2/?) HIMYM
Part 2
There was a sound, like the rustle of feathers and then a blossoming warmth, as though someone had just dropped a log on an open fire.
Lily blurted "Tell me you just saw that!" and grabbed Marshall's arm. They'd both gone horribly pale.
"What? What?" Robin said irritably, twisting awkwardly in the booth to look behind her, towards the bar. She still felt a strange heat on the side of her face, making her flush. She adjusted her scarf and scowled, in no mood for games. Things were awkward enough, having to meet up with them all again, after so many months of estrangement.
"Barney!" Lily said with a gasp, and Robin rounded on her.
"Lily! Tactless, much?" She nodded her head towards Ted, who just stared off into the distance, vacantly. Yeah, Robin thought, so what was new?
There was sound, that ruffle of feathers again and Robin grit her teeth. What was that noise? She shivered.
"I saw Barney!" Lily repeated. "Oh my god, I just saw Barney's ghost!"
Marshall held out a finger and pointed it towards the bar, his bottom lip quivering. "Barney," was all he could manage.
"Guys, you didn't. He's dead. And there's no such thing as ghosts!" This was worse than Robin had ever imagined when she agreed to meet up with them for a drink. This was macabre, obscene even.
"I swear, Robin, she's not making it up. I saw him too. It was totally Barney!" Marshall's voice cracked as he and Lily clung to each other.
Robin shook her head. "No, you don't understand. You're just seeing what you want to see. You expect to see him standing there and the bar and so you-"
She trailed off. For a moment, just a moment, she'd seen him too. It was just an instant, like that one time before, but it was unmistakably Barney. His smile, the laughter dancing in his eyes. She'd seen him, clear as day.
Robin took a deep breath to steady herself, blinking rapidly, trying to shake herself out of whatever mass hallucination was infecting them all. She reached for her scotch and her fingers came into contact with Ted's, accidentally brushing his as he put down his bottle of beer.
"Don't you have anything to say about this?" Robin demanded. Ted seemed to be coasting through this whole situation, not even listening to what they were saying. She remembered a time when he'd been the level headed one, bringing Marshall and Lily back down to earth. And god damn it, even she needed him right now.
But Ted just sat back and stretched his arms out in front of him. "He's not a ghost."
"Exactly-" Robin attempted to interject.
But Ted interrupted her. "He's here all the time. I've been seeing him for months."
"What?" Robin, Marshall and Lily exclaimed, a chorus of disbelief.
"He's not a ghost guys," Ted said, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. "He's an angel."
*--*--*
Several months before this, the first time Barney ever spoke to him, Ted had ignored him. And the second time, and the third.
Ted was pretty sure that seeing dead friends probably counted as a symptom of madness, he just wasn't quite ready to admit that to anyone outside his own head.
The first time Barney appeared in Ted's bedroom, he'd found him less easy to ignore.
"I'm sorry about the headaches, bro," Barney said, leaning casually against his wardrobe.
"Not your fault," Ted found himself replying. He was absolutely sure that talking to dead friends was a clincher in the I-am-going-insane stakes. "I drink too much."
"Nope, buddy, it's totally my fault. This whole talking-to-humans thing, it's pretty tricky. They don't exactly teach it in Angel 101."
"So you're an angel now?" Ted couldn't help but snort.
"No, I am not just an angel!" Barney said testily, mimicking Ted's tone. "I'm a totally awesome, kick-ass messenger of the big guy!"
Ted actually smiled at that. He marvelled at his brain's inability to recreate Barney's speech and mannerisms so authentically. "Of course you are."
"Which means, hopefully, that you can start finding a use for me again?"
That hurt. Ted felt a stab in his gut, the same pain he'd tried to douse in alcohol for the last few weeks.
"Low blow, dude," he grunted. Because he was talking to a construct of his own delusions, and should obviously find out exactly what his own head was trying to say to him.
He heard Barney's soft footsteps as he approached the bed, felt the mattress bow under his weight as his hallucinatory friend sat down.
"This sucks," Barney said, looking up. Ted noticed, when he met Barney's eyes, that there was something weird about him. Something imperfect. He couldn't put his finger on it. "This sucks that you feel like this, that Marshall and Lily are so miserable… That Robin…" He sighed. "We didn't do it to hurt you. I didn't even seduce Robin. It was a stupid thing to lose your friendship for."
Ted shook his head. "You're not real."
Barney shrugged. "I'm an angel."
"Prove it!" Ted glared at him, challenging him. "Prove that you're more than just a product of this damn grief and guilt and too much hard liquor."
Barney raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow and grinned. "Oh I will, dude. You better believe it. But for now, you're gonna need to have a little faith."
Then he disappeared.
*--*--*
Robin had to admit that she was scared, really scared. It would be easy to blame this weird hysteria on a lack of sleep, on emotional overload. But if she couldn't trust her own eyes, what could she trust?
That night, after the crazyness in the bar, she sat in her bedroom and cleaned her gun. It made her calmer somehow, when she loaded it, checked it, and flipped on the safety. The butt felt cool and solid in her hand.
The sensation of safety, of security that she'd felt this past month, it had twisted into a weird paranoia, like she was being watched.
Then suddenly, there was a noise from the kitchen.
Heart pounding right up in her throat, Robin gripped the gun in both hands and headed out of her bedroom into the living room. "Who's there?" She called out, trying to keep her voice even, confident.
"Doesn't anybody have any Red Bull in this town?" A familiar voice came from the kitchen. Robin could see the light from the refrigerator door, and a figure in silhouette crouched down in front of it.
Robin smacked herself on the forehead with the palm of her hand in an attempt to wake herself up. As he straightened up, Barney turned towards her and grinned, a can of Red Bull in his hand.
"What up, Scherbatsky?" He said.
Robin did something she'd not done since she was seventeen and she'd been a teenage pop star on a starvation diet in an overheated Mall.
She fainted.
*--*--*
It was hard not to be hideously embarrassed in these circumstances. It was almost impossible not to feel ashamed when a guy you know is dead was sitting next to you, stroking your face.
"Okay," Robin said. "I'm gonna go with this. So, you're an angel?"
Barney sighed. "Not this again! Jesus, I'm gonna have to get business cards made up or something."
"Are angels supposed to blaspheme, Barney?"
He laughed at that. "Big J don't mind. Besides, I was saving my best for you." He paused for effect. "You wanna see my wings?"
She laughed, because with that leer, he managed to make the suggestion sound impossibly dirty. "Dude, there's no way angels are supposed to act like this!"
"I can act how I want! I'm a physical manifestation of divine joy! What up!"
Robin laughed again, more freely than she had in months. Perhaps madness really was the way to go? Perhaps Ted had it right? "Okay then", she conceded, as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Okay then, do it. Let me see those wings!"
He grinned and began pulling off his jacket. When she tried to object, he just chuckled and said, "Please! Like I'm gonna ruin this suit?"
And so, from her supine position on the couch, Robin watched as Barney loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his sculpted torso, pretty much exactly how she remembered it from their one night together.
She was a little disappointed when he didn't remove his pants too.
Seeing her expression, he grinned shook his head. "Don't get any ideas, baby. This is purely a demonstration of my awesomeness."
Robin laughed at that. "Well, since angels aren't supposed to have genitals, I'm guessing there's not a lot else to show me!"
He rolled his eyes at that. "Seriously dude, I already told you! Physical manifestation! You don't think I'd go to all this trouble and then give myself the Ken Doll, do you?" He winked at her, pulling his shirt over his shoulders and turning all the way around so that she could admire the lean musculature of his back, his trim waist.
She gave him the obligatory wolf-whistle, but a second later, the sound died on her lips.
There was a barely-audible woosh, a rustling of feathers and two, perfect, very impressive wings unfolded from behind his shoulder blades. Robin struggled to her feet, walking over to him, bare foot, close enough to touch him, but somehow afraid to.
"Oh my god," she breathed, as he looked down at her and smiled. "This is one fucked-up fantasy."
"Go ahead," he whispered, as she could feel his breath on her cheek. "Touch them."
Robin reached out and, when her hands met the first feathers, she felt a weird blush creep through her, from her tingling fingers to the tips of her toes.
Then she heard Barney groan.
Looking up at him, she saw something in his expression, something in the tightness around his eyes, the set of his lips and she blurted, "Oh my god! Me touching them... this is so turning you on right now!"
He grinned infuriatingly. "Totally."
Robin tutted and buried both her hands deep in the snow-white feathers.
To be continued...
Fan art by bananacosmic here:
There was a sound, like the rustle of feathers and then a blossoming warmth, as though someone had just dropped a log on an open fire.
Lily blurted "Tell me you just saw that!" and grabbed Marshall's arm. They'd both gone horribly pale.
"What? What?" Robin said irritably, twisting awkwardly in the booth to look behind her, towards the bar. She still felt a strange heat on the side of her face, making her flush. She adjusted her scarf and scowled, in no mood for games. Things were awkward enough, having to meet up with them all again, after so many months of estrangement.
"Barney!" Lily said with a gasp, and Robin rounded on her.
"Lily! Tactless, much?" She nodded her head towards Ted, who just stared off into the distance, vacantly. Yeah, Robin thought, so what was new?
There was sound, that ruffle of feathers again and Robin grit her teeth. What was that noise? She shivered.
"I saw Barney!" Lily repeated. "Oh my god, I just saw Barney's ghost!"
Marshall held out a finger and pointed it towards the bar, his bottom lip quivering. "Barney," was all he could manage.
"Guys, you didn't. He's dead. And there's no such thing as ghosts!" This was worse than Robin had ever imagined when she agreed to meet up with them for a drink. This was macabre, obscene even.
"I swear, Robin, she's not making it up. I saw him too. It was totally Barney!" Marshall's voice cracked as he and Lily clung to each other.
Robin shook her head. "No, you don't understand. You're just seeing what you want to see. You expect to see him standing there and the bar and so you-"
She trailed off. For a moment, just a moment, she'd seen him too. It was just an instant, like that one time before, but it was unmistakably Barney. His smile, the laughter dancing in his eyes. She'd seen him, clear as day.
Robin took a deep breath to steady herself, blinking rapidly, trying to shake herself out of whatever mass hallucination was infecting them all. She reached for her scotch and her fingers came into contact with Ted's, accidentally brushing his as he put down his bottle of beer.
"Don't you have anything to say about this?" Robin demanded. Ted seemed to be coasting through this whole situation, not even listening to what they were saying. She remembered a time when he'd been the level headed one, bringing Marshall and Lily back down to earth. And god damn it, even she needed him right now.
But Ted just sat back and stretched his arms out in front of him. "He's not a ghost."
"Exactly-" Robin attempted to interject.
But Ted interrupted her. "He's here all the time. I've been seeing him for months."
"What?" Robin, Marshall and Lily exclaimed, a chorus of disbelief.
"He's not a ghost guys," Ted said, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. "He's an angel."
*--*--*
Several months before this, the first time Barney ever spoke to him, Ted had ignored him. And the second time, and the third.
Ted was pretty sure that seeing dead friends probably counted as a symptom of madness, he just wasn't quite ready to admit that to anyone outside his own head.
The first time Barney appeared in Ted's bedroom, he'd found him less easy to ignore.
"I'm sorry about the headaches, bro," Barney said, leaning casually against his wardrobe.
"Not your fault," Ted found himself replying. He was absolutely sure that talking to dead friends was a clincher in the I-am-going-insane stakes. "I drink too much."
"Nope, buddy, it's totally my fault. This whole talking-to-humans thing, it's pretty tricky. They don't exactly teach it in Angel 101."
"So you're an angel now?" Ted couldn't help but snort.
"No, I am not just an angel!" Barney said testily, mimicking Ted's tone. "I'm a totally awesome, kick-ass messenger of the big guy!"
Ted actually smiled at that. He marvelled at his brain's inability to recreate Barney's speech and mannerisms so authentically. "Of course you are."
"Which means, hopefully, that you can start finding a use for me again?"
That hurt. Ted felt a stab in his gut, the same pain he'd tried to douse in alcohol for the last few weeks.
"Low blow, dude," he grunted. Because he was talking to a construct of his own delusions, and should obviously find out exactly what his own head was trying to say to him.
He heard Barney's soft footsteps as he approached the bed, felt the mattress bow under his weight as his hallucinatory friend sat down.
"This sucks," Barney said, looking up. Ted noticed, when he met Barney's eyes, that there was something weird about him. Something imperfect. He couldn't put his finger on it. "This sucks that you feel like this, that Marshall and Lily are so miserable… That Robin…" He sighed. "We didn't do it to hurt you. I didn't even seduce Robin. It was a stupid thing to lose your friendship for."
Ted shook his head. "You're not real."
Barney shrugged. "I'm an angel."
"Prove it!" Ted glared at him, challenging him. "Prove that you're more than just a product of this damn grief and guilt and too much hard liquor."
Barney raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow and grinned. "Oh I will, dude. You better believe it. But for now, you're gonna need to have a little faith."
Then he disappeared.
*--*--*
Robin had to admit that she was scared, really scared. It would be easy to blame this weird hysteria on a lack of sleep, on emotional overload. But if she couldn't trust her own eyes, what could she trust?
That night, after the crazyness in the bar, she sat in her bedroom and cleaned her gun. It made her calmer somehow, when she loaded it, checked it, and flipped on the safety. The butt felt cool and solid in her hand.
The sensation of safety, of security that she'd felt this past month, it had twisted into a weird paranoia, like she was being watched.
Then suddenly, there was a noise from the kitchen.
Heart pounding right up in her throat, Robin gripped the gun in both hands and headed out of her bedroom into the living room. "Who's there?" She called out, trying to keep her voice even, confident.
"Doesn't anybody have any Red Bull in this town?" A familiar voice came from the kitchen. Robin could see the light from the refrigerator door, and a figure in silhouette crouched down in front of it.
Robin smacked herself on the forehead with the palm of her hand in an attempt to wake herself up. As he straightened up, Barney turned towards her and grinned, a can of Red Bull in his hand.
"What up, Scherbatsky?" He said.
Robin did something she'd not done since she was seventeen and she'd been a teenage pop star on a starvation diet in an overheated Mall.
She fainted.
*--*--*
It was hard not to be hideously embarrassed in these circumstances. It was almost impossible not to feel ashamed when a guy you know is dead was sitting next to you, stroking your face.
"Okay," Robin said. "I'm gonna go with this. So, you're an angel?"
Barney sighed. "Not this again! Jesus, I'm gonna have to get business cards made up or something."
"Are angels supposed to blaspheme, Barney?"
He laughed at that. "Big J don't mind. Besides, I was saving my best for you." He paused for effect. "You wanna see my wings?"
She laughed, because with that leer, he managed to make the suggestion sound impossibly dirty. "Dude, there's no way angels are supposed to act like this!"
"I can act how I want! I'm a physical manifestation of divine joy! What up!"
Robin laughed again, more freely than she had in months. Perhaps madness really was the way to go? Perhaps Ted had it right? "Okay then", she conceded, as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Okay then, do it. Let me see those wings!"
He grinned and began pulling off his jacket. When she tried to object, he just chuckled and said, "Please! Like I'm gonna ruin this suit?"
And so, from her supine position on the couch, Robin watched as Barney loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his sculpted torso, pretty much exactly how she remembered it from their one night together.
She was a little disappointed when he didn't remove his pants too.
Seeing her expression, he grinned shook his head. "Don't get any ideas, baby. This is purely a demonstration of my awesomeness."
Robin laughed at that. "Well, since angels aren't supposed to have genitals, I'm guessing there's not a lot else to show me!"
He rolled his eyes at that. "Seriously dude, I already told you! Physical manifestation! You don't think I'd go to all this trouble and then give myself the Ken Doll, do you?" He winked at her, pulling his shirt over his shoulders and turning all the way around so that she could admire the lean musculature of his back, his trim waist.
She gave him the obligatory wolf-whistle, but a second later, the sound died on her lips.
There was a barely-audible woosh, a rustling of feathers and two, perfect, very impressive wings unfolded from behind his shoulder blades. Robin struggled to her feet, walking over to him, bare foot, close enough to touch him, but somehow afraid to.
"Oh my god," she breathed, as he looked down at her and smiled. "This is one fucked-up fantasy."
"Go ahead," he whispered, as she could feel his breath on her cheek. "Touch them."
Robin reached out and, when her hands met the first feathers, she felt a weird blush creep through her, from her tingling fingers to the tips of her toes.
Then she heard Barney groan.
Looking up at him, she saw something in his expression, something in the tightness around his eyes, the set of his lips and she blurted, "Oh my god! Me touching them... this is so turning you on right now!"
He grinned infuriatingly. "Totally."
Robin tutted and buried both her hands deep in the snow-white feathers.
To be continued...
Fan art by bananacosmic here: